if you could take a pill to stop Dysphoria with out changes would you

[Wild Flower]

I think many of us have tried all kinds of pills or drugs including alcohol and more to dull our senses and kill the dysphoria demons.  Dysphoria is not a disease but a symptom or manifestation of something much deeper.  Our intrinsic identity at odds with our bods.

We take a pill for everything these days.  I was at a presentation about transgender health care recently and a physician asked why we don't focus more research on curing the "real problem" in transgender people's brain physiology or structure.  Oh that's right they tried that with electro shock therapy.  How well did that work out for us?

There are any number of sci fi type solutions that may become the real future.  Would you bring your fetus/baby to term if you knew they were going to be trans or something else undesirable?  Some parents already face that sort of tough choice with several syndromes diagnosed well before birth etc.

A brave new world of eugenics?  No thanks

Wait. If you knew your child was transgender from the start you could treat the issue by allowing him/her pass without the damage puberty bring.

When I was young kid, i worn dresses play with barbies sailor moon... i had crushes on guys since i was in the 3rd grade. I remember guys would say look like a girl when i push my hair back since my eyes were feminine... they still are... but the eyebrows are much lower

Then somehow i hide it all... i became ugly. Gain weight pimples. Escape into the computer. I look better today then i did at 16..

[Mara]

Yeah I would. That is pretty much what I attempted with anti-depressants, but they didn't work.

[Tessa James]

Wait. If you knew your child was transgender from the start you could treat the issue by allowing him/her pass without the damage puberty bring.

When I was young kid, i worn dresses play with barbies sailor moon... i had crushes on guys since i was in the 3rd grade. I remember guys would say look like a girl when i push my hair back since my eyes were feminine... they still are... but the eyebrows are much lower

Then somehow i hide it all... i became ugly. Gain weight pimples. Escape into the computer. I look better today then i did at 16..

WF I would rather your loving example to be the norm for parents who find they have a transgender child.  I think our culture is moving in that direction and know several families that do support their kids in just that way.  Thanks for a brighter perspective on what parents might do if they knew we were transgender early on

[Tessa James]

Wow Jo. You truly are amazing and extremely insightful. Labotomies never even entered my train of thought but you are right. I am so intwined with my "transness" I really don't know how to act without it. Well for starters I wouldn't be me because it has been such a big or the biggest art of my life so far.

But you have heard this and I am sure everyone else has too. "No pain, no gain." Another one is "Steel is tempered with fire to make it stronger." I personally think we are totally underestimated. I believe we are stronger than the rest of society. It may sound really messed up but I am proud to be trans. Especiaplly when the rest of the world try to make me feel ashamed of it. But I still hve pride in being the "T" in the equasion. Yeah it causes me some trouble and strife but look at all the members here. Everyone here gives me strength to be mytself no matter what the consequences that I may face.  We a strong and we are gaining ground. When I got on my home page, Lavergne Cox was making the headlines. How cool is that?

Right on sisters, we are powerful and we are changing the world as we come on out.

[ImagineKate]

I don't know. I have thought of this a lot. If it would erase the dysphoria and every memory and every last trace, and make me into a fully comfortable alpha male, maybe. This is in light of where I am - successful both in my personal and professional life, husband and father. I look at the story of Lynn Conway and we have a good bit in common. It would certainly make things a lot easier. But if I was younger and single probably not.

I do enjoy a lot of aspects of my life including the closeness of my family and it's really hard considering the prospect of losing it all but the discomfort from dysphoria kills me to an extreme. And it's not like I can even go low dose because while it quells the dysphoria it works like a full dose and I end up wanting more.

[Newgirl Dani]

No, I think that hrt is only a means of dealing with the negative effect of suppressing the natural state of being and putting into balance for that person the correct path.  I also believe this path is one in which is traversing over many, many lifetimes, and to follow our true path is to allow our star to shine ever brighter with each life.   Dani

[Foxglove]

if science came up with a chemical besides hormones  that would leave you physically unchanged, but permanently and totally  blocked dysphoria would you take it or are their other reasons for changing gender expression ( disclaimer: not intended to be taken in any way harmful to any living entity, purely a benign hypothetical thought experiment, which some day could become reality .

I wasn't entirely sure I understood the question, but this answer makes me think I do:

I don't know. I have thought of this a lot. If it would erase the dysphoria and every memory and every last trace, and make me into a fully comfortable alpha male, maybe. . .

It's as if we're regarding the physique as the default position, and do we want to take some drug that would reconcile us to it?  Absolutely not. Not for me anyway.  It's my soul that's the default position.  I don't want to do anything that would rob me of my feel for it.  That's what I love.  And if it causes me some pain, well, I deal with that.  Because it's not actually my soul that causes me pain.  My soul is my joy.  It's the bloody body my soul was given to inhabit that causes me pain.

I love my son.  On occasion I've had some worries about him.  Not really his fault.  I'm a worrier by nature.  So would I want some drug that might make me love him less, hence worry about him less?  Absolutely not.  And neither would I take anything that would diminish my love of my soul.

[Steph34]

Personally speaking for myself I would not take it. My dysphoria has everything to do with my feeling and knowing that I am a woman in a male body. My decision to transition was not based on my dysphoria. Instead, it was based on my overwhelming need to not only think as a woman, but become a woman. I am so much happier since coming to this decision. And don't think I would want to take a pill just to get rid of my dysphoria, because it wouldn't solve my gender issues.

That was so well said! I wholeheartedly agree with every word. I am transitioning so that I can finally be myself; dysphoria is only one of the many problems I will no longer have once I can be accepted as a woman. Since deciding to be true to my inner self, all of my mental health issues ( avoidant personality, obsessive-compulsive, and social anxiety) have been fading away. Physical issues like hair loss, stomach problems and even irregular heartbeats also no longer plague me. Rebalancing my hormones was the answer to all of those problems that have been crippling me; finally feeling comfortable with my body and mind is only one part of the story. Transitioning therefore prepares me for a successful future in ways that such a pill would never address. If someone cannot accept me for being who I am, they really do not belong in my life anyway, even if they were once a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes, it takes something serious - like discovering a person's true identity - to bring out an intolerant person's true colors. As such, a pill like this would be welcomed by haters and a mortifying thought to me. Imagine how anti-transition people would feel if they (or therapists sympathetic to their views) could change minds under the guise of trying to help. I am so glad it is only hypothetical, or else people who are unaccepting of transitioning might give it to transgendered people covertly. I can totally see my father playing that game.

[Randi]

It's too late now.  My body has been changed too far to the feminine side.

I had tolerable dysphoria from age 15 to 55 or so.   That wasn't too bad.  I could have handled that if it had continued.

Hypogonadism, low T and high E2, increased my dysphoria to the point where I was compelled to do something about it.

Once my T dropped to pre-puberty levels I was back where I was as a child. I was convinced (again) that I needed a female body.

I took testosterone HRT for years, hoping it would make me male and comfortable with that.   It only increased my dysphoria.  If they had a pill that would have done what they said testosterone would do for me I would have taken it.

I firmly believe that no one wants to be transsexual.  We go to great lengths to change our bodies and our social role.  It would be so much easier to simply stop being trans*.

The fact that no psychologist or counselor can change our brains and thought to eliminate dysphoria  without transition simply demonstrates how powerless counselors are.

[Eevee]

I'd be afraid to. I've struggled with who I am for most of my life and tried changing in so many ways. I've also tried forcing dysphoria away by medicating the depression it caused. I can't force myself to be what I'm not anymore because that's just been too traumatizing before. Now I'm happy for the first time in my life, and I don't want that feeling to go away. I'd have to think deeply about it before I would attempt a "miracle cure" pill.

[ImagineKate]

It's as if we're regarding the physique as the default position, and do we want to take some drug that would reconcile us to it?  Absolutely not. Not for me anyway.  It's my soul that's the default position.  I don't want to do anything that would rob me of my feel for it.  That's what I love.  And if it causes me some pain, well, I deal with that.  Because it's not actually my soul that causes me pain.  My soul is my joy.  It's the bloody body my soul was given to inhabit that causes me pain.

I love my son.  On occasion I've had some worries about him.  Not really his fault.  I'm a worrier by nature.  So would I want some drug that might make me love him less, hence worry about him less?  Absolutely not.  And neither would I take anything that would diminish my love of my soul.

Don't get me wrong, I am past the point of no return now, but it seems day by day my wife is road blocking my transition. Not outright but stealth. I wish I didn't have to deal with this. Every time I do something she gets upset. She looks at me and gets all depressed. She complains about losing "us" and losing "me." Guess what honey, you aren't losing me. You're gaining the real me. But she doesn't see it that way. She mourns it like I'm dying of a terminal disease or something.

In light of this sometimes I just want to give up and if there was a magic wand to make it all go away I would probably seriously consider it. I'm afraid of losing my kids and having one vindictive ex spouse who almost ended my life as I know it isn't exactly helping. I really don't want to lose my kids. I would be depressed beyond any measure.

I mean I really badly want to be reconciled with myself but I feel that I will have to deal with the cost of it all, and that kills me to no end. So my approach now is that I'm marching forward at full speed, and ignoring outside resistance. I feel it's better to just get it over with.

[Myarkstir]

No

[Jill F]

What fun would that be?  I just love everything about estrogen and being one of the girls.

[stephaniec]

What fun would that be?  I just love everything about estrogen and being one of the girls.

I'm finding the changes too impossible to give up

[Steph34]

I've struggled with who I am for most of my life and tried changing in so many ways. I've also tried forcing dysphoria away by medicating the depression it caused. I can't force myself to be what I'm not anymore because that's just been too traumatizing before. Now I'm happy for the first time in my life, and I don't want that feeling to go away.

That is how I feel, too. I was forced to take all kinds of psychological drugs as a child in an unsuccessful attempt to change me. The drugs merely silenced me; the pain never went away. It took a while but I finally found a medication that is far more effective than any other: estradiol. It really changed my whole outlook on life and I would never look back or try another route.

My feminine side is what makes me who I am, and I would never want to be happy with a male body or male behavior, because that is not my style. I am not a man, so I would never accept medication that would make me want to be one. To do so would be to lose myself forever.

[Kamiki]

This is an amazingly well posited query.

For me the answer would be no. A pill to alleviate the issues caused by dysphoria would not appeal to me. It would be masking the root cause rather than treating it. I need to align my physical, spiritual and mental forms and a pill would not suffice.

Though the very question intrigues me I feel for me it would not be a worthwhile tradeoff.

Kami.

[Luna Star]

So after all that time to lose sight of the real me and be confused and lost again? No thanks.

Transsexuality taught me that you get nowhere denying yourself for who you are. Dysphoria is not an illness you can cure it is a sign from your 'soul'... To stop the self harm and start changing

[suzifrommd]

I posted a very similar question in the form of a poll a while ago. More than three-quarters said "no".

[Madison Bennett]

I wouldn't take it either.  I wouldn't be me anymore.

[minxiejinxielynxie]

I'd have to agree with a lot of the things said, I wouldn't take it either.
I haven't even started transition yet but I still know I wouldn't take it, because then I wouldn't be me.

To help with my dysphoria in some ways I just keep reminding myself a Dr Seuss quote: "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You"
My dysphoria is a part of me so taking the pill would, in my eyes, be removing a part of me.