Hello, everyone! I go by T, am FTM, and came out to my family and friends...I think maybe 2012? I'm really bad with time. Either way! Everyone in my circle has been more than supportive and I cannot say how appreciative I am of everyone.
Things went pretty well when I first came out. We had been planning on a vacation to Chincoteague for my dogs birthday (yes...yes I love my pets too much) and I REALLY wanted to feel free to dress like a guy and be myself. My mom always describes that vacation as the first time she ever saw me being 'me' and truly happy. All in all it was a great vacation, and probably one of my happiest memories.
I had recently come back from being inpatient at Sheppard Pratt for anorexia, and I was still struggling...but everything just fell apart when my dog and his brother died from a horrible car accident. I lived in MD at the time, and was not happy at all in the household for many reasons, main one my grandmother was insane.
I couldn't stand being alone and considered getting another dog, but I felt horrible like I was just 'replacing' Daemian. I talked with my mother and she agreed it would be good to get another friend since I was always so alone, and Daemian was the one thing that brought me out of my depression before. We were financially stable at the time, so after adopting my whole world, Fenris, I moved back up to VA where my friend lived.
Long story short, I was still depressed, my grandmother died, my mom lost her job because she had to quit to take care of my grandmother when she was dying, money fell apart, I was forced back into the hospital (I was under 18 at the time) and tubed, came back from the hospital worse then ever, and have been struggling with my ED, depression, OCD, and trans issues since. We were almost homeless again (have moved over 40 times in my life), and I was lucky enough for my friends parents to offer their home to me while I work through college and therapy and stuff. (Long story why my mother and sister couldn't stay, but they are in good homes now...the reason I can't live with them is my ED overwhelms them and I honestly can't blame them at all).
Well, I have been trying and trying to find help, but unable to afford it or stick with it for one reason or another. Finally, though, I have my first trans-specialist appointment with Whitman-Walker and I am so excited, but also really worried I'll be denied hormones because of my health or something. I guess we will see, here is hoping! :>
Anyway, thanks for reading all if this to whomever did, sorry if its just a garbled mess of words. I'm not the best at writing/talking in general.
