Does anyone else do this or am I just extra messed up. Ive been doing this for years and even more so now that I'm actively changing my look, growing my hair, makeup nail polish ect. Whenever I see someone i know from friends, family, coworkers old classmates in public i quickly turn away and try to avoid them as much as possible. it gets really awkward when I noticed that they have noticed me and im pretty sure they're thinking wow what an ass purposely trying to ignore me. It really sucks and for the most part I do actually want to talk to them and see what they have been up to. When I do see people i know i start having these self hatred and self loathing feeling and I just dont what anyone to see me. I just dont like myself and i really dont want to talk about it with people. I've had this issue well before I started questioning my gender and now its worse cause now its obvious that im changing my appearance and I would have to explain myself. Yea this happened about an hour ago and im pretty sure they notice that I saw them as well... Every time I do this I just hate myself more and I just want to be "normal" this probably explain why I'm always single and only have a few good friends... sigh.
