So, I've been in an online relationships for 2 and a half years now. It's been an amazing experience for me, and my girlfriend's been a fantastic person for me, as she was around as I finally came around to work out my male identity. It ended today. And I'm wrecked. A few weeks ago, she told me that she wanted only a platonic relationship between us out of the blue, so we bickered and argued about why that was. She didn't really explain the reasoning behind it, only that she couldn't handle romance right then and that she was too stressed. Of course, I felt incredibly ->-bleeped-<-ty about it, so I apologized for not being more considerate and we ended the conversation on a weird note.
She then avoided me for two weeks, dodging my questions about her being alright, or why she'd been upset before. I, however, didn't really notice until a day or two ago, because I was sick to the point that I slept constantly and could barely move. I didn't tell her that I was sick, I didn't want to bother her more than before. We finally talked today, it was fine... until she slipped. We were talking about my sexual views, and how I'd been having trouble with finding strangers attractive. She essentially exploded and told me that she no longer found any manly figure at all attractive, including me.
She never told me. She said she'd been feeling like that for months and months, but never wanted to tell me because it would have hurt my feelings. Not even once told me that she didn't even want any part of me anymore. We bickered and fought more, it got serious and even more angry, and she told me that, if she hurt me so much, that I should just go. So I did. I apologized and logged off Skype and hid under my sheets for a while.
I'm just angry. And hurt, really, more than angry. I guess I didn't do enough to make her feel happy so that she wouldn't be so stressed. It's alright that she didn't find me attractive, in retrospect, as no one can really decide who it is they love and find beautiful until it happens, but... it's more painful that she didn't feel comfortable telling me. Maybe that was when our relationship started to crumble, but I'm still not sure myself. All I know is that I feel like ->-bleeped-<- and really just want to curl up and not move for a while. If anyone has any suggestions/advice, I'd appreciate it.
