Is it important to list that you're transgendered on dating sites?

[TSJasmine]

Is it important to list that I'm transgendered on a dating site if I'm not looking to date? I did this a while back & I specifically put in my description that I'm not looking for a boyfriend & I'm just looking for people to hangout with. Some guys knew by my name (it had TS in it) & a few didn't & when I told them they got mad & said I should list it in my profile :p I just don't see how it could be important if I'm not trying to date anyone. Could they be so stupid that they wouldn't even be FRIENDS with a transgendered person? Talk about small minded :p

But anyways, what do you guys think? Would you say it's important if you're not looking to actually date?

[Sammy]

Umm, what I have read and experienced myself (I have read waaay more stuff than have personal first-hand experience, lol), is that disclosure really depends and You should take into account the place, the environment and general audience. Guys usually do not read profiles and go by visual stimulation, so chances are that they might see Your lovely face, skip Your profile and just bump straight into Your PMs. If You dont want to date, that's fine (except they would have also skipped reading that part in Your profile, cause You know.. they dont read profiles - especially the hot ones, they usually are too hot for that or just skipped literature for sports in the elementary).
Then again, if You put up that You are TG, Your profile will attract a different kind of persons, not necessarily ->-bleeped-<-s but... Those people will read Your profile and write You mostly because You are cute and TG. So... (TMI - and sometimes they just search for jerk off materials.... at least I have been told so by others).

And another stuff, despite of what You are saying there, they will have a different agenda and even if You put flat out that You wont date and are looking for friends only, they still might have hopes and pursue them actively. And their definition of friendship is slightly different too .

Oh and btw, please feel free to disregard all the afore-mentioned because there are real jewels out there who just dont fit in any of categories and are just great guys who will respect You no matter what .

[Jessica Merriman]

I would question the wisdom of looking for friends only on a dating site. Please be very careful.

[TSJasmine]

I would question the wisdom of looking for friends only on a dating site. Please be very careful.

Lol just realized this. I ended up taking the account down though because I don't need to be distracted by guys right now :p

[LizMarie]

If you're looking for friends, I'd try to find people with whom I have things in common then just hang out with them. That can take some effort but it will build upon mutual interests. Do you like to dance? Take dance classes and get to know people there. Do you like to fly model planes? Join a model plane club? Do you like to bicycle? Join a bike club.

Finding people of like mind is a good way to find friends.

And, incidentally, finding a good friend is often the first step to finding love.

[ImagineKate]

If you're looking for friends, I'd try to find people with whom I have things in common then just hang out with them. That can take some effort but it will build upon mutual interests. Do you like to dance? Take dance classes and get to know people there. Do you like to fly model planes? Join a model plane club? Do you like to bicycle? Join a bike club.

Finding people of like mind is a good way to find friends.

And, incidentally, finding a good friend is often the first step to finding love.

Absolutely this.

[Lady_Oracle]

I didn't disclose in my online dating profiles and it worked out perfectly fine. I only disclosed if I knew the person wanted to actually date me and that was usually over the phone or through skype.

[Allyda]

I don't disclose my IS/Trans status on any dating site. Even if I were to go out with someone I need to see if I like them enough first before devulging my past to them. If we decide to get serious yes, of course I tell them up front. But peep's just reading my profile on a dating site have no reason to know. I want someone to like me foe me. Not because I'm IS, or Trans, or even cute for that matter(if they think so). I want to be liked as a person.

Be careful what you disclose on dating sites y'all. There's a lot of creeps out there. Be safe.

Ally

[lemon_ice]

I'm on a dating site and listed as trans.. (I'm not ashamed and want to be honest as I'm still fairly early into transition..) and I'm kinda regretting it. It doesn't matter what you're looking for, friends/relationships/chat etc. most guys see "trans" and immediately assume you're up for random sex... And I am ABSOLUTELY not, eww, and it is spelled out very clearly in my profile.. But as above many guys don't bother reading.. they see a pic, see that you're trans and BOOM, you must be up for random hook ups.. sigh.
So I wouldn't blame anyone if they left that wee detail out and only informed those for whom it could affect at an appropriate time..

[TSJasmine]

I'm on a dating site and listed as trans.. (I'm not ashamed and want to be honest as I'm still fairly early into transition..) and I'm kinda regretting it. It doesn't matter what you're looking for, friends/relationships/chat etc. most guys see "trans" and immediately assume you're up for random sex... And I am ABSOLUTELY not, eww, and it is spelled out very clearly in my profile.. But as above many guys don't bother reading.. they see a pic, see that you're trans and BOOM, you must be up for random hook ups.. sigh.
So I wouldn't blame anyone if they left that wee detail out and only informed those for whom it could affect at an appropriate time..

This is another reason why I don't like writing it! It attracts nothing but guys who want to hook up. I'm down to hook up sometimes but only if I find the guy attractive & his personality too. I've met some really hot douchebags & as attractive as they are, they're ->-bleeped-<-s who make it very obvious they only want to have sex. Even worse when they expect it in their car. Like.. reaaaaaalllllyyyy?? & you're not gonna even get me drunk first? Bitch please.

[Hikari]

I disclosed....but I was clearly looking for dating. Not friendships, and in my own personal view someone has no right to know if I don't want them to know (even SOs) so I peronsonally wouldn't feel under any obligation to disclose it even though I probably would.

Unless it is a dating site tied to like a specific group or community you want it meet more of it is probably better to look elsewhere for friendship.

For the record I have had all positive results from the fee dating sites I used, and I have a certain romantic interest that I met on one. I dunno about friendship but if you are looking for romance it probably beats going to bars to meet people.

Edit: might be worth noting I am into girls and no guys were allowed to see my profile on any of the sites I was on. It might be really different with men I dont know.

[Lostkitten]

According to your photos you really don't have to mention it. If it bothers you and like to be honest about it, tell them before you meet up. If you know you are pass-able without a doube. Looks, behavior, clothes, voice, everything. Then tell them after a first date.

The first impression sticks and if their first impression is transgender, then chances are huge they will always see you as a transgender.

I noticed on a dating website I was on it doesn't matter, as long as you look good enough. That might sounds very eh.. ego like, which I don't want to come across as x_x. But I am a photographer and in the past even used photoshop to make pictures perfect . Thus, people wouldn't be able to tell and didn't mind either so often when I did tell them. Even so, I'd rather have a first date before them having to know. Just don't got that luxury yet =/.

[HoneyStrums]

If you want to avoid being treated differently by people after they find out then they did before, then yes it is important.

As a whole though, disclosure (just like any other personal detail) is up to you.

[PinkCloud]

I did mention it. Had a profile for a month, got about 30 reactions. All the guys congratulated me on my honesty, while they did like me, they all said they would not date me because I am trans. I guess it comes with the territory.

[Ms Grace]

It's a double bind, you're likely to invite rejection or the ->-bleeped-<- types if you do reveal you are trans in your profile but you're still likely to invite rejection, and possibly violence, if you don't reveal your status and they find out on the first or subsequent dates. Very much a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation.

[PinkCloud]

It's a double bind, you're likely to invite rejection or the ->-bleeped-<- types if you do reveal you are trans in your profile but you're still likely to invite rejection, and possibly violence, if you don't reveal your status and they find out on the first or subsequent dates. Very much a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation.

Yes, I think so too.

It really stinks. But the majority of guys can't wrap their heads around being a woman in a former male body, unless they are bisexual. Cannot blame them entirely though, it is just how most men think. Then again, I would not want to date men who only care about appearances.  They will sort themselves out for me when I tell them. Hopefully one day I will find a the right guy, someone who values me for who I am inside as a human being with feeling, emotions and caring woman. So much love to give, but few are willing to receive it, all because of semantics and ignorance.

[TSJasmine]

It's a double bind, you're likely to invite rejection or the ->-bleeped-<- types if you do reveal you are trans in your profile but you're still likely to invite rejection, and possibly violence, if you don't reveal your status and they find out on the first or subsequent dates. Very much a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation.

This is so true. Honestly though, in my experience, even when I did disclose it, I had maaaannnyyyy guys hit me up. I woke up one morning with 79 new messages. A lot of guys don't care I've noticed but some will treat you like a sex object & ask what you're into sexually right off the bat. All of which usually didn't get much farther.

[PinkCloud]

This is so true. Honestly though, in my experience, even when I did disclose it, I had maaaannnyyyy guys hit me up. I woke up one morning with 79 new messages. A lot of guys don't care I've noticed but some will treat you like a sex object & ask what you're into sexually right off the bat. All of which usually didn't get much farther.

Terrible. I start to dislike men more and more. That whole objectification thing sounds like a curse. I feel blessed for not being "hot" or "sexy", this way I know for sure what a guy wants from me. Depressing as it may sound, I think I had high and unrealistic hopes about men. It seems they are all the same. Oh, well, I am alone for the most part of my life, I already got used to it. No need for some random guy only interested in sex. I am glad my imagination is adequate.

[Devlyn]

I think it is important. This is the first line of my okcupid profile:

I'm transgender. If that hasn't stopped you in your tracks, feel free to write. No questions are off limits as long as they're respectfully asked

[TSJasmine]

Terrible. I start to dislike men more and more. That whole objectification thing sounds like a curse. I feel blessed for not being "hot" or "sexy", this way I know for sure what a guy wants from me. Depressing as it may sound, I think I had high and unrealistic hopes about men. It seems they are all the same. Oh, well, I am alone for the most part of my life, I already got used to it. No need for some random guy only interested in sex. I am glad my imagination is adequate.

Omg Calm down. I'm not hot or sexy. Guys will just have sex with anything that crawls honestly. Being objectified by men is a natal women thing also. No women is free from it I think. Being TS just makes it more likely