Just thought I'd introduce myself and give a little back story for anyone who's interested
Right, so I'm 22 years old and I live in Ireland, after years of denial I've recently come to terms with the fact that I'm transgender or at least I'm 99% sure I am
I remember when I was younger I used to sneak into my mother's room and try on clothes. If I knew the house was going to be empty for a while I'd leave the clothes on and just hang out around the house. I could never really say what compelled me to do this but I always felt guilty about stealing and after a few close calls I just stopped completely.
During my teenage years I always felt really dysphoric about my body but I couldn't quite workout what I didn't like about it. I went through a phase of thinking that I was too scrawny and that having a more 'manly' body would help my self image. Despite constantly working out and getting a somewhat muscular physique I was still never happy with the way my body looked. To this day I'm not comfortable with how I look and prefer to wear baggy hoodies and jeans. I remember never feeling 'manly' enough, and constantly tried to put on a front to be one of the boys, but it never felt natural for me.
Over the last few years I've come to terms with the fact that I would have preferred to have been born a woman, but I felt resigned to play the cards I'd been dealt and just 'man up'. For a long time I felt a real detachment from my life, it felt like I was just playing a part and never acting like myself. I also realised some of my issues such as, depression and social anxiety probably stem from my gender dysphoria.
I've actually been seeing a therapist for a little over a month and she's really understanding. Getting to talk about some of these issues has been great. I'm still undecided about whether I'll actually transition or not but for the first time I'm seriously considering it
