Formal attire when you're not out?

[darkblade]

So I'm performing in a concert as part of a cello ensemble in less than two weeks, and what I'm going to wear is very much on my mind. Our teacher hasn't yet decided on the dress code, but it looks like its either going to be black pants and white shirts for males (I'm not even sure what she said it would be for females) or bright color shirts for guys and bright dresses for girls.

I'm very unsure of what to wear. I don't want to spend the night feeling uncomfortable, especially that lots of people are going to show up. I'm definitely not wearing a dress, but would it be appropriate to dress like a guy (my hair is relatively long at the moment)? My professor doesn't know any more than that I'm having "identity issues." I'd have to go shopping for clothes if I end up choosing to dress as a guy and  not even sure I have the time to go shopping, so I might just end up going the way I usually do, but at least I'm entertaining the thought of going the way I want to until then...

What do you guys think?

[Bran]

Totally appropriate to dress as a guy.  There are lots of reasons why someone FAAB would choose to wear the masculine option (not least of which that they had a bright shirt and black slacks in their wardrobe, but not an appropriate dress.)  Unless the setting is hyper-traditional, like an evening wedding, making the dress code options strictly gendered is very unusual.  And it's in bad taste to forbid pants to female bodied folks even in the most formal setting.  Straight, cis tomboys have been known to refuse to attend events were they couldn't wear pants. 

[Cindy]

Darkblade, it is a very appropriate thing to do is to have a quiet word with your teacher explaining that your 'identity issues' predicate against wearing obviously feminine clothing.

If the teacher has any understanding that will be very thankful for the comment, and a comment made in private is the way to go with not making a scene and causing yourself distress.

[darkblade]

Thanks Cindy and Bran! I'll talk to my professor, who I'm sure will be understanding, and then I'll try to figure out how to find something to wear 

[PucksWaywardSon]

before coming out/figuring out I was trans, I found a good compromise was a blazer over jeans & a plain top with formal shoes. Admittedly now that outfit looks noticably girly and I don't feel comfy in it any more, but if you're still needing to put up a show of presenting as they expect of you it's less traumatic than a dress. If jeans (even black ones, or cords) aren't formal enough any plain black trousers should work, and you can still have a bright coloured top with it if they go with that requirement.

If they do decide to require a dress/skirt, which they might if it's super-formal, maybe treat yourself to some new comfy boxers (nobody has to know!), use leggings instead of tights (they're basically like longjohns right? Plus bonus: no shaving required) and bring a more comfortable outfit to change into once you're done.

I'm now going to go see if I can take my own advice since I've got a theatre trip tonight and don't really have any guy-shaped formal wear either.