My latest obsession -- TG fiction

[Asche]

I think I've always had a certain attraction to stories about (M2F) transgender experiences, but recently (in the past few weeks), it has suddenly become an obsession.  I'll find a site with TG stories and I'll read them for hours at a time and not be able to stop, even if I know I should.  I've lost entire evenings to this.  I've missed appointments.  It's fortunate that I don't feel safe reading them at work, or I'd never get any work done.

The funny thing is, it's like I'm looking for something.  I'll look at a synopsis of a story, or read the first few hundred lines, and then say, no, that's not the right one.  Or I'll like one enough to download it and read it again and again and yet feel like it's not quite right.  I'm having to guess at what I'm looking for by seeing what I like and what turns me off, but it doesn't seem consistent.  For instance, humiliation or degradation or abuse almost always turn me off, except -- there are a few "favorites" where humiliation is an essential part of the story and it seems right.  Not pleasant, but right.

Has anyone else experienced this?  Any idea what it's about?

[Taka]

sounds like you're looking for the dream you can't live.
something to identify with.

most people have preferences when it comes to content.
i have things i like and hate too.

but the obsession isn't very good at all.
you've found a drug that works really well for you.
and you're already addicted to it.

just like how i've been addicted to fiction since childhood.
i've no idea what to do when i can't find anything i want to read.
and if i find something i like a lot, i can't put it away.

losing depression made it easier to show up in time for appointments though.

[Jaded Jade]

I was more into reading TG stuff before I admitted to myself that that was what I was. 

Now I would love to find more stories that explored gender themes and trans themes, but not necessarily erotica.

You might try writing stories, I always found that more rewarding anyway, and less prone to fetishization and offensiveness, unless,  that is what you choose to explore and write.


- Jaded Jade

[JulieBlair]

sounds like you're looking for the dream you can't live.
something to identify with.

most people have preferences when it comes to content.
i have things i like and hate too.

but the obsession isn't very good at all.
you've found a drug that works really well for you.
and you're already addicted to it.

just like how i've been addicted to fiction since childhood.
i've no idea what to do when i can't find anything i want to read.
and if i find something i like a lot, i can't put it away.

losing depression made it easier to show up in time for appointments though.

If being compelled to literature is addiction, I hope I never sober up.  It's not fiction but Redefining Realness: by Janet Mock is a good read.  A while ago a read a rather juvenile trilogy about a MTF boy set on a generational spaceship.  Sounds schlocky and it was but kind of fun.  What other ones have I run across in the last couple of years.  Have to think.

Julie

[Kendall]

i wish there was more ftm fiction
the world seems flooded more with mtf fiction
i haven't read much non-binary fiction
just a few short stories

[Ptero]

Hi Asche,

I know what you talk about. I spend entire evenings/night looking for and watchings films about LGBT persons. I think it's like reversing the tendency : irl it's rare to meet people like you. But if you spend a long time everyday reading/watching stories about people more or less like you, it balances a bit the world.

Don't think it's bad. My mother always says "il n'y a pas de mal à se faire du bien", which you could translate by "there is not bad in making good to yourself"  ... as long as you don't forget to live for real