Post op differences and Paranoia

[Icephoenyx]

Ok, so I'm pretty sure I posted here about this before a way while back but I guess I don't learn lessons well. I've had a few guys in the last two years clock me when we engage in sexual activity, and previously they didn't know. Also, guys I have told in the past before things happen that I do trust also say there are a few differences. I'm a Brassard alum and I do love my results but I also am very self consious. Apparently, I'm "abnormally" tight, even though I've kept up with dilations and clearly have had practice. Also, I am pretty sure I lack the minor inner lips and although I feel a clit area that grows with stimulation and an odd piece of cut skin that I guess would be it, guys can't typically find it. Plus of course the scars which may never go away, and I do shave.

I don't know how to cope with this. I'm paranoid now and I try to be as stealth as humanly possible. I did have a boyfriend who didn't know about me, but he was not very sexually experienced at all, and I can't always rely on men being rookies, I mean they are men after all and the older we get the more experience we have, in general. So I might as well just be up front then, and avoid awkward situations with strangers, would you agree? I just dont feel I should advertise that I'm trans, I might as well get it tattooed on my forehead and let all my surgeries and hair removal etc. go to waste right?

Please help!

[Jenna Marie]

There is a *lot* of variation amongst cis vulvas and vaginas... There are women who've given birth who are still so tight they need the "junior" speculum, and women without inner labia, and women whose clits are well-hidden. So part of this might be to just brazen it out; tell a guy it's rude to criticize a women's genitals when she's been willing to have sex with him (for goodness sake!) and that apparently he's not familiar with all of human variation.

Even the scars could be from a labiaplasty (which plastic surgeons DO offer to cis women) to try to correct "flaws" you perceived after other guys were unkind enough to comment.

[Icephoenyx]

Well the ones who didn't know all guessed and they weren't wrong.

[Jenna Marie]

They weren't wrong, but they didn't have to *know* that. They could just as easily have clocked a cis woman with those assumptions. So if you really want to stay stealth... you just act like a cis woman would, upset and insulted.

[mrs izzy]

I am me. I was me.

I am out in my mind the fact I am what I am.

Not every Apple is the same.

So maybe you should compair phallos.