In the past couple months, i took many steps toward transitioning. i came out to myself and a few others, purchased some women's clothing and makeup (foundation and concealer, which i barely know how to use), went to a pflag meeting and trans support group meeting, cross-dressed in ordinary public twice (not including the gay bar i visit). I'm still feeling very stuck though, I don't feel like i have the opportunity to talk to other trans women in person very often (the support groups don't have that many meetings), i don't have someone to teach me female mannerisms and how to makeup in a tasteful way, i don't have a gender therapist yet, my facial hair and male body hair fills me with absolute disgust but i haven't been able to anything yet to get it removed, the hair on my head is still way too short and male-ish, i still weigh far too much (160 at 5'10), my male voice also makes me very dysphoric, i'm still extremely frightened to come out to my family but can't stand living in the closet either, had my first cutting incident, and the thought of hormones, ffs, breast implants, and srs seems like an almost impossible dream. i'm not sure where to go from here.
