Hello Everyone

[SimplyConfused]

Hello everyone,

I am Michelle, I am 42 and live in Jacksonville, Florida.  I am currently working as a field service tech, but looking for something with a more predictable schedule.

I have come here a lot when looking for information and finally decided it was time I join in the decisions and maybe start asking my own questions.  It seems as many people have the same story as I do.  I guess there are people everywhere going through the same thing.

For the longest time I always thought that my life was just boring and depressing.  I am married and have a daughter and a wonderful family life.  I love my family and I should be happy and enjoy the typical wonderful life, right?  Well I don't.  My family are very caring and loving and even supportive, but I never felt happy or that I belonged. 

I have discovered that what it was is I was living my life under the false expectation that I was a man.  I would fix things around the house, and do what was expected of me as the "typical guy".  Well after some time reflecting on how I really felt and some reading and finally  therapy I discovered that I am not what my skin says I am, I am me, I am a woman.  I enjoy crying over a good movie, I like doing things that make me feel pretty and comfortable with myself.  And for the longest time I kept it secret from everyone.  Now I am finally starting to see I was wrong to hide who I am.  I am working on my transition and now every day is more about me being who I want to be.

I am not comfortable with my body as it is but I know with time and work I can change that.  I have just started my journey to making my outside look like how I feel inside.  I am working to become a happier person outside and feel great about my inner self. 

Anyway, thank you all for letting me babble incoherently about myself.  I look forward to continually reading and ever now replying to all the useful and wonderful posts everyone puts up here.

Thanks,

Michelle

[Devlyn]

Hi Michelle, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston and, hey! They usually leave the incoherent babbling to me! See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

Welcome to the forums Michelle! Yay!  Another sister to huggle! ♥︎*Hugs*♥︎

It's funny, isn't it?  You have these thoughts and feelings that things aren't right, but Society™ tells us that we're wrong, and we must resist them.  We think we're alone in these thoughts and feelings, and we are so sure we'll take them to our graves.

Then one day, the illusion is shattered.  We hear of others who have had the same thoughts and feelings, and how they managed to break free.  We learn about the veil of lies that Society™ has shrouded us all in, and suddenly, we find ourselves talking about these "forbidden" feelings.

It's amazing when the veil lifts.  You feel free again, like when you were a kid, before all the lies about these feelings and thoughts were impressed on you.  You start to understand for the first time exactly what these thoughts and feelings really mean, and you see for the first time that these things are not "wrong" or "sinful" or "unnatural".

And best of all, you start to see your true self again.  Without the mask, without the performance. Just you, as you are, naked and unashamed.  It's a wonderful feeling hunni, and I'm only just starting out on this journey myself

May I ask - where are you in this journey?  Have you come out to any of your nearest and dearest yet?  Have you seen a gender specialist at all?  I ask entirely out of idle curiosity really lol

Hope you are well sis!  And once again - welcome to the family! ♥︎*Hugs*♥︎

[mrs izzy]

Michelle

Welcome to Susan's family.
There are a few here that should have information to help.
Pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Safe passage on your path, popcorn?

Izzy
Forum News: new for our members under 18 a new safe place just for you. Youth talk.

[SimplyConfused]

OMG thank you for the warm and wonderful welcome, I am truly delighted at the replies. 

As for incoherent babbling, I bow to the experts, but I feel maybe I might have a penny or two to drop in the well from time to time.  Thanks Devlyn (hugs)

Sarha your post touch my heart.  It is amazing how many people have a similar story, which lets me know I am not alone.    As for your questions I have just officially started my journey earlier this year.  I am pre everything you could say but I dress and act as myself everywhere except at work.  Which is the only place that I cannot come out for yet.  I have come out to my spouse, daughter and mother-in-law.  But I am planning on coming out to the rest of my family as I see them.  This is not something I want to do over the phone.  I do have a therapist and she is working with me on putting my letter together.  She is someone I feel very comfortable with and do not feel I have to hide anything from her. 

Thank you Mrs. Izzy I have been reading the stickys and other posts all day.  I will be a good girl. 

I am really pleased to be here and truly feel proud to be here.

HUGS everyone