I need a gender therapist.

[rachel89]

I think I need to see a gender therapist. I am sick of having to live as man, I feel like a lot of time in this world has been wasted because i got older (I am 25), but didn't experience any of the usual female rites of passage, I wasn't obviously transgendered as a child so I wasn't able to get the hormone blockers and estrogen to prevent a male appearance and give me a female appearance. I see DQ's who look more feminine than me, and i hurts and i'm afraid i'll end up looking like the worst stereotypes of trans people. I'm sick of not being able to feel happy sexually, without female orgasms, without the right parts, being grossed out when i look or touch, having unsexy male urges while also having a more feminine sexuality that I appreciate, but few people would understand with this body. I hate the voice and facial hair. I'm afraid of looking like a "man in a dress" but i'm afraid if I don't do anything I'll end up more ugly, lonely, and miserable. I hate this world where there has to be a closet and it is slowing down my transition because I don't have any real privacy right now. Even if I am crazy, I cannot keep living like a man, it is making me miserable.
I live in NE Indiana and I don't know who to talk to around here to help me transition.

[Alex2020T]

I live in the UK, so can't give you any specific advice about gender therapists in your area, but here's a list of gender therapists in Indiana:

http://m.therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?state=IN&spec=187

Have you considered online gender therapy? It might be worth investigating:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=121007.0

I wish you luck in whatever you decide. Best wishes.

[Ms Grace]

Try this search result.

I feel like a lot of time in this world has been wasted because i got older (I am 25), but didn't experience any of the usual female rites of passage, I wasn't obviously transgendered as a child so I wasn't able to get the hormone blockers and estrogen to prevent a male appearance and give me a female appearance.

To be honest I don't think there was much prescribing of hormone blockers for under 18s ten or so years ago anyway, even if they were really "obviously" trans (whatever that might mean) - so I wouldn't go beating myself up over it.

[rachel89]

i didn't realize how recently doctors began prescribing hormone blockers to children. I cannot understand why doctors would ever allow a transgender child to go through the wrong type of puberty. It should be considered medical malpractice/torture/child abuse to force a transgender child to go through that.

[Cindy]

i didn't realize how recently doctors began prescribing hormone blockers to children. I cannot understand why doctors would ever allow a transgender child to go through the wrong type of puberty. It should be considered medical malpractice/torture/child abuse to force a transgender child to go through that.

It was the court system, not the medics. Look up Gillick competence. It still hangs around the neck of our youth.

[Cristyjade30]

I think I need to see a gender therapist. I am sick of having to live as man, I feel like a lot of time in this world has been wasted because i got older (I am 25), but didn't experience any of the usual female rites of passage, I wasn't obviously transgendered as a child so I wasn't able to get the hormone blockers and estrogen to prevent a male appearance and give me a female appearance. I see DQ's who look more feminine than me, and i hurts and i'm afraid i'll end up looking like the worst stereotypes of trans people. I'm sick of not being able to feel happy sexually, without female orgasms, without the right parts, being grossed out when i look or touch, having unsexy male urges while also having a more feminine sexuality that I appreciate, but few people would understand with this body. I hate the voice and facial hair. I'm afraid of looking like a "man in a dress" but i'm afraid if I don't do anything I'll end up more ugly, lonely, and miserable. I hate this world where there has to be a closet and it is slowing down my transition because I don't have any real privacy right now. Even if I am crazy, I cannot keep living like a man, it is making me miserable.
I live in NE Indiana and I don't know who to talk to around here to help me transition.

Same boat hun, just 5 years later than you, In fact I had the same exact thoughts when I was your age, it kept me from going forward until recently when I hit the gender brick wall, not long after I turned 30. I it helps theres several videos of transgender that didn't transition until there thirties, and they look great so 25 is not to late. Be happy , transition if that's what you need, see a therapist, and you don't know what hormones are gonna do to you, so wait and see, you can hide the effects of them for a while and present female after the hormones have done there thing for long enough, and as for voice several videos on youtube just need to keep practicing til you get it.

[jeni]

I haven't been to a gender therapist, but I had similar anxieties and insecurities when I needed help for mild depression a couple years ago. It felt impossible, how could I be sure I was picking the "right" therapist?

In the end, you can't know without trying. If you have multiple options, pick one that feels right to you for any reason. They'll probably help, and if it's not a good fit, you're not obligated to go back. You can't figure this out without doing it!

By the way, I feel exactly the same about masculine appearance worries. I'd wish I'd had the guts to face up to this ~10 years ago when I was your age, except that between then and now my kids came along (which, of course, adds additional anxieties to the mix).

Good luck, you can do it!