Need advice regarding therapists please

[Shana-chan]

Can you give me any signs to look out for? I'm asking because, mine says she's licensed and a professional yet, every time I call her, I barely ever get her (Understandable) and leave a message with name, number and so on. I never her back from her till 2 or more days later and typically have to call her more than once too. This imo is NOT understandable or acceptable. What if I needed to talk to her? What if something was so bad I needed to schedule an emergency appointment? When I asked her why she wasn't returning my calls, she said she has other clients and returns the calls when she can. She then mentioned email and said when she's at home, she will reply by email but not by phone (Makes no sense) I mean, from what I've gathered (I could be mistaken but doubt it), she gets home by 7 or 8PM, doesn't do sessions till late morning (Near 12PM) and she can't return a call which would take 5-10 minutes max when she's home? Come on now! That isn't right!

Has anyone else had a case like this happen to them before? Is your therapist still a good one? Honestly, I feel like I'm all alone in this and my "Dad" says I've gotten a yes man. Can anyone give me some questions I can ask her to see if she really is a yes man or not? I've tried thinking of 1, but can't.

[Skylar105]

Honestly your therapist sounds a lot like mine. O.O mine gave me a reason though basically because she has so many clients she will just usually wait to address it in the next session. My therapist isn't exactly understanding either she tends to try and push me in the wrong way. I don't know exactly what therapist are suppose to be like.

I definitely know how you feel when it comes to this stuff. Mine rarely replies by email though. :3
Mine is licensed too I wonder if we have the same one. Lol I meet with mine over skype. :3
Also I thought yes man just agrees with everything a person says o.o

[ImagineKate]

My previous therapist wasn't that responsive. She would reply 2 days later to an email. The current one replies the same day or later in the day. She is much more accessible. I feel very comfortable with her. So responsiveness is important to me as it is to you.

I also look for someone who has a reputation to uphold. My previous therapist didn't really have much of an online presence and she said she doesn't understand things like getting online peer support (such as Susan's) and this was one of the reasons I was more than happy to switch. My current therapist has a blog and seems very knowledgeable and experienced.

I can understand them being busy with other clients. I'm not sure they are at our beck and call 24/7. I have a weekly slot I can use when I need to talk even if I don't see her weekly so I can always talk to her if need be.

Mine mostly listens and doesn't always agree with me. For example we talked about my son and him always wanting to use the girls bathroom. She said he might not be trans but everyone has their own identity. I figured he was but she challenged me on this. It's good to know they don't just blindly agree and will challenge you.

Also she knows and works with my nurse practitioner and endo for HRT. So my full mental and physical well being is taken care of.

I feel as if I have a good support system in totality now instead of just being pulled all over the place.

[Asche]

IMHO, the question is: are you comfortable with this?  (It sounds like the answer is "no".)  When you bring it up with her, are you two able to discuss it in a way that makes you feel heard and responded to?  And if you can, are you able to reach some arrangement that you are comfortable with?  If you feel you need a therapist that is easier to get hold of and responds more quickly, and she can't accommodate that, then IMHO that is a valid reason to look for another therapist.

Being licensed and a professional (whatever "professional" means) doesn't mean that the therapist is the right one for you.  It's not uncommon to go through several therapists before finding one that works for you.  With the emphasis on for you.  A therapist that is great for someone you know may be terrible for you.  The therapist that I dropped after 4 months (3 months too long) believed in being detached and questioning everything I said.  He came highly recommended, but his approach made it impossible for me to see him as anything but an adversary.  I have trust issues, and he was triggering them with every other sentence he spoke (not to mention his tone of voice.)

[Rachel]

I can text my therapist and expect a response in a reasonable amount of time (2 hours) provided I text her during the day.

Perhaps a conversation about accessibility and expectations is in order.

[ImagineKate]

As for being licensed both of mine are LCSWs which is good for letters to change documents as well as letters for SRS when that time comes.

[Shana-chan]

You're right, I'm NOT comfortable with how she's not responding to me in a quick enough matter. Today I called her and left a message asking to arrange a time to have a session for this week not long from now and it's now night time, no way she's calling me back tonight and this makes it 2 days total since I left the first message. Thing is, I have no one else to turn to that's near where I live. This one is literally, the last option for me. (AT least for ones that specialize in trans issues) So if I bring this up with them, I am scared of what they'll say or worse, possibly do.

Honestly your therapist sounds a lot like mine. O.O mine gave me a reason though basically because she has so many clients she will just usually wait to address it in the next session. My therapist isn't exactly understanding either she tends to try and push me in the wrong way. I don't know exactly what therapist are suppose to be like.

I definitely know how you feel when it comes to this stuff. Mine rarely replies by email though. :3
Mine is licensed too I wonder if we have the same one. Lol I meet with mine over skype. :3
Also I thought yes man just agrees with everything a person says o.o

A therapist a good one at least is someone who hears you out, gives advice, different points of views etc. in order to help you through or see something that you need help getting through or to see. They'll also help you become who you want to be. (In terms of trans matters) They all have their different approach, but all good ones should do what I first said here. If say, they don't believe you're trans and you know you are and you've tried expressing etc. this to them but they refuse to listen then, you've found a bad one, best report them and find another. As for yours, I could say you've got a bad one but, again, the whole approach thing, some take a tough love way and aren't as friendly, so in order for YOU to know if you've got a bad one is what I said here. Ultimately, you'll have to decide if the current one is the right one for you or not but, don't let your feelings get in the way of what you need. As in, even if you like them, if they aren't helping you, time to cut ties and move onto another one.

It's doubtful we have the same one but that would be cool. At least then, I'd somewhat know someone in my area from Susan's. lol
That is a yes man and my "Dad" thinks mine is that simply because he didn't like the fact my thera was taking MY SIDE and not his. Thus he's got it in his head that my thera is just telling me what I want to hear and I don't believe that to be the case but, thanks to trust issues and some paranoia, I can't help but wonder if he's right...

As for being licensed both of mine are LCSWs which is good for letters to change documents as well as letters for SRS when that time comes.

What does LCSWs stand for?

[ImagineKate]

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

The little s is plural

[Skylar105]

You're right, I'm NOT comfortable with how she's not responding to me in a quick enough matter. Today I called her and left a message asking to arrange a time to have a session for this week not long from now and it's now night time, no way she's calling me back tonight and this makes it 2 days total since I left the first message. Thing is, I have no one else to turn to that's near where I live. This one is literally, the last option for me. (AT least for ones that specialize in trans issues) So if I bring this up with them, I am scared of what they'll say or worse, possibly do.
A therapist a good one at least is someone who hears you out, gives advice, different points of views etc. in order to help you through or see something that you need help getting through or to see. They'll also help you become who you want to be. (In terms of trans matters) They all have their different approach, but all good ones should do what I first said here. If say, they don't believe you're trans and you know you are and you've tried expressing etc. this to them but they refuse to listen then, you've found a bad one, best report them and find another. As for yours, I could say you've got a bad one but, again, the whole approach thing, some take a tough love way and aren't as friendly, so in order for YOU to know if you've got a bad one is what I said here. Ultimately, you'll have to decide if the current one is the right one for you or not but, don't let your feelings get in the way of what you need. As in, even if you like them, if they aren't helping you, time to cut ties and move onto another one.

It's doubtful we have the same one but that would be cool. At least then, I'd somewhat know someone in my area from Susan's. lol
That is a yes man and my "Dad" thinks mine is that simply because he didn't like the fact my thera was taking MY SIDE and not his. Thus he's got it in his head that my thera is just telling me what I want to hear and I don't believe that to be the case but, thanks to trust issues and some paranoia, I can't help but wonder if he's right...
What does LCSWs stand for?

Mine is pretty useful but she usually destroys any self confidence I get lol. But she does it in a subtle way, and my therapist is based in PA. But I don't live in that state. :3
I can also relate to your trust issues I'm like that with any compliments because the negative out weighs the positive. If you have doubts with the therapist you could try talking with them. Because these emotions seem pretty important in it.

My therapist also had no doubts that I'm full on trans. She even made mentioned in today's session of it.
Although I don't understand her method of giving me self esteem since everytime I get it she rips it away. >_> lol

Edit > (My bad I didn't see that you said you tried contacting her.) >_<