feeling down

[April_TO]

Hi Everyone,

As I recently passed my 3rd month mark on HRT with my hair becoming longer and with boobs growing like crazy. I feel like I am getting less or a few stares from strangers which I think is a great thing LOL so I then asked my very good friend (cis woman) about it and asked her if I am starting to look like a CIS woman and she said that certain features of my face gives it a way like my jaw and my chin.

I suddenly felt a sudden surge of sadness and remorse over my decision to start my transition and started asking myself why am I subjecting myself to this humiliating experience (insert: me being seen like a freak show, clown etch) and why can't I just go back to my simple life before...no stares..blend in but deep inside I was lonely and suppressed.

I know it really goes down to my confidence and reminding myself why am I doing this...but why is it so hard for some people like our friends to see us as a woman, Anyway, this is more of me sharing my experience. Anytips to let this nagging feeling go will be appreciated xo

Mod edit, please don't use the t word like that.

[PinkCloud]

Judging by your avatar, I do not see any problem at all. Not sure why your chin is supposed to give "it" away?  your chin seems to fit your face and other facial features. There is a delicate balance. Chisel the chin and your nose becomes too big, shave the nose and your chin becomes larger, etcetera... I think your face has a good proportion.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi CarmenKate

Being transgender requires patience, lots of it, and the strength to see things through, especially when you feel insecure and are having a bad day.  And feeling insecure is something which virtually all women feel at times about their physical presentation, so you're kind of in good company here

Your friend was being honest, which is a good and bad thing, but you're only 3 months into HRT, so let it do its work.  And later, if you believe it would help, you could consider FFS.  But frankly, it's too soon for that.

The issue of people still seeing you in your former gender can be hard for some people, but it becomes easier as you become more feminine in all dimensions.  That's another area where you should be patient.  And of course, it's important to surround yourself with kind and positive people.

Hugs
Julia

[Ms Grace]

Well maybe your jaw line is a bit strong but it is for plenty of cis women. You're only on HRT for three months and you're looking pretty stunning already, it will take the hormones at least another six to nine months to really make a difference. Something tells me you'll look pretty darn fine.

[jojoglowe]

For me, HRT helped round out my face. My chin used to be very angular, but is now very round and feminine. I think the same has happened with my cheeks. (That sorta sounds like I'm talking about my bottom, well the same thing there too) 


I would say these changes became perceivable around the year one mark, and now at year two I have a new face. Just HRT, no FFS

I started at age 25

[Amber Kitty]

You look beautiful! I honestly wouldn't even give you a second look (in terms of wondering your gender). Just remember confidence is key and this is all as real as you make it ! If you'd like to chat in private just let me know. I'm always up for listening to people <3

Much love,
Amber

[April_TO]

Girl, the hug means a lot. I wish you can see how much I appreciate that...xoxo

I try not to ask the few cis friends I am out to, about what outs me.

They being honest will give me a litany of stuff they know about (which isn't immediately obvious to the public) and I will have it keep me down for a week until my memory kind of fails and I stop remembering.

Anyway, I don't usually give out hugs (so far only twice?) but here's one for you
I know exactly how you feel *hugs*

[April_TO]

Ms Grace, Amber, Jojo, Julia, Hanazono and Pink Cloud - you ladies are amazing and beautiful.

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement xoxo 

Mental note: Rome was not built in a day