Help me find this path!

[Lost in L]

so a lot has happened in the last 8 months. I've come out to about 20 people, all for the most part supportive( feel so lucky!) my step father got critically ill and passed away I moved for the first time in my 30 yr life. still in my parent's basement though. My mom is not taking the loss very well, I'm currently living with her. I've been seeing a therapist for about 8 months every week.  Because of my step-dad and gender dsyphoria i got knocked off my diet and exercise pretty bad. I'm really working on getting back on track. I'm female mode i would say all the time at home, wearing wigs most of the time... hate that lack of hair.. I've had about 4-5 laser treatments on most of my body. the only time i've gone outside in female mode is a couple times to therapy. i have a lot of normal anxiety and paranoia... I have a lot of personal issues on top of this to... overall a complete lack of life experience...

I found a doctor in my area that works with hormones and should be good to go for January 9th, my next appointment. I've looked up a ton of stuff and even got a book for trans people.

The thing is I'm still rather lost on how to do this transitioning! My kinda plan is to do a slow slide at work, just ease into it. there are no protections for gender identity in my state. I'm paranoid that if i come out to any managers at work i will be instantly fired. i don't feel comfortable with any of them and they rotate fairly often. so I'm thinking of a just ease into it and people will just eventually guess or confront me or hopefully just not care. I'm not worried to much about my non-work life, really atm i think it will be fine.

stuff I've already done to start this are I bought a pink pair of women's shoes and watch i wear at work. pink marker, pens and water bottle. I shaved the beard I've had my whole life and attempted to grow my hair out. there is a neutral bathroom i can use and for the most part always use.

So I'm looking for ideas here on how to do this, or if its just terrible. one thing i have realized in this is everyone's life, experience, and personality can make this very different for everyone. also looking for ideas on what things i can slowly add in that won't make it a sudden huge "what is going on here" moment. thank goodness I'm already pretty weird, i think that has helped this be a little easier..

I also have no idea how to female... no idea how to do make-up, hair, hygiene, clothing, voice, etc.....

Any help is super appreciated! Thanks! L~

[JoanneB]

A general rule of thumb for work is as long as your job gets done and you aren't creating a distraction you'll probably be OK, to a point. I've heard from others in my group many times now, how basically people either ignore, haven't a clue, or just don't really or see much of anything going on. Yeah, you're looking or dressing a little different. Perhaps the rumor mill is settling in on going gay. That they can deal with. Boobs, hair, even nails won't mean much. Unless you have a lot of direct customer contact.

The moment of truth comes when it comes to which toilet you want/need to use. That is when all the ranting, gnashing of teeth, rending of clothes, and general uproar tends to start. It might be just the bosses/owners, or an uproar swelling from the users. In an area with no trans protections there is likely absolutely nothing you can do about it legally.  Now, if your company has some "Diversity" statement which is referenced in their employee handbook that also includes "gender identity", you may have an wedge. I haven't done any research into who has tried this route yet.

Time for the bubble burst portion - Having been in upper management,as well as having seen life from the trenches, I can assure you any company, any boss, in any state, with any/all trans protection laws, WILL find a legitimate business reason to terminate you, if they no longer want you around, no matter what value you may be to the company. There are the few rare cases of a PHB actually putting being trans on paper, almost all are not that dumb. 

[Lost in L]

JoanneB thanks for the response. I at the moment don't have any real contact with any customers.  I work third shift in a backroom. I kinda planned it out that way to minimize management worrying about customer interaction. We have what is called a family bathroom at work, that has a lock, that is not gender specific next to the other normal bathrooms. I have mostly just using that one, I'm hoping  that helps.

Anti-discrimination statement defers to the local law so no company protections there.

I'm wondering if it seems feasible to slowly change/transition slowly overtime or if its better to just come out and/or when, i kinda feel that just puts it in their lap earlier, so they can fire me when i tell them compared to later down the road when its realized...?