...I could expect the reactions of my two best friends upon informing them of my transtatus...
I first told my more than decade's long friend. She's an awesome lady who is very supportive and very open to who and what I am. We laugh that we are such opposites and yet still can be fast friends. I am born and raised Catholic, she always says she will burn up upon entering any sacred building. We have many more of these things that should make us like oil and water, but when together I feel as if it's more like pancakes and syrup, oh so yummy. She immediately asked what pronouns I prefered and what name I wanted to be called by. She asks before "spilling" anything to her fiance, or the friend she's invited to the play with us who has met Lori, but not Lorenz. She is an awesome person all around and I am happy, and me all around with her.
Turn the page and I sit across from a co-worker and very fiery Portugese friend. We get together to discuss plenty of things, from how poorly some of the other co-workers do their jobs (accepting to teach Social Studies when you are only trained for Math and confidently bungling the lesson without even realizing how badly you've done so - and other like situations that Special Ed Assistants can observe on a daily basis0), what the Catholic Church teaches vs. what a lot of Catholics actually do (much to the detriment of the Church's reputation sadly), and many other things. This last meeting included the topic of my transtatus, to which she said something of the nature of "It's you inside who must be right with God and understanding the nature of you includes your gender." I had gone through the whole rigamarole of saying "I have a bombshell I need to share with You, about ME," and "Don't freak out" etc. Needless to say I was relieved and entranced by her reaction. There was not even a "Why do you think this?" It was blessing in itself.
Now, I turn my thoughts to family... I have an aunt whose understanding of the Church includes such gender disparity that while the majority of congregations allow girls to serve altar with the boys or to read the readings, etc, she would not allow her daughter to do such things because "girls can't be priests." My mother is of a very different mindset, but I fear she is no less blinkered, since her mindset is that when something is broken, you fix it, and I was always the fragile bird with the broken wing. Her family always claimed I was "a bit strange" and - despite my age of 32 - still believe that lecturing me is just fine, thank you.
Even my father, whom I have the best relations of all my immediate family, is a very devout Catholic and I'm afraid I will shatter his world and his imaginings of my future as the Singing Nun/Religion Teacher.
Oh the melancholia I feel tonight.
