Dreams of sexual nature

[Lake James]

Hey everyone 

Lake here, still confused as ever!!  So currently swapping from I'm FTM to non binary to butch to whatever.  I have a rather sensitive/awkward question to ask re dreams.  Twice this week I have had dreams where I am having sex with a woman, as a woman - ie, lesbian sex.  The thing is, in my dreams it feels totally right and how its meant to be.  This is now confusing me more !!  I don't usually have dreams of that nature and here I am, experimenting with being more manly, liking the changes and yet these dreams pop up, throwing everything off again :/

My question is; if having dreams of a sexual nature, did you dream yourself female or male?  Did it feel right or wrong that way?

Sorry if this is too near the mark to answer but I can't work out what this means for me.

[kast]

In my dreams I sometimes have a penis, other times I have my own body. I don't think I've dreamt of myself as a woman though - I'm either cismale or ftm. My sex dreams always feel right whatever they are, haha. When you say you're having sex "as a woman" in your dream, do you mean that you feel you're a woman in your dream, or that the sex acts themselves just look like what is usually defined as "lesbian sex"? Like, being penetrated doesn't at all mean you're having sex as a woman.

My advice is don't fret about dreams. The brain is weird and will create all sorts of crazy stuff. If anything, your reaction to the dream upon waking may be more telling of your true feelings. Focus on your feelings while awake - eg. do those sex acts make you uncomfortable or do you like them? is it something you do or desire in real life? would you prefer to see yourself as a man/woman/human in bed?

[awilliams1701]

I find penises completely disgusting and consider myself 100% lesbian, but I've dreamt about being blindfolded (so I didn't have to look at him) and having sex with a guy with my post-op vagina(currently pre-op). I have to admit I'm curious but I find guys so gross that even being blindfolded wouldn't be enough. Maybe I'll get lucky and get a girl to wear a strapon and give it to me.

[BrotherBen]

I know plenty of queer gals who'd be happy to oblige you! Good luck

[Bran]

I have had lots of truly random sexual dreams in my life, some of which made perfect sense with my identity or desires, some of which were completely repulsive, and some of which were just bizarre.  Sometimes I'm male, sometimes I'm female, sometimes I switch partway through, or change places with my partner(s?), or one of us turns into a different person.  I honestly don't think it means anything, usually.  I've always figured that dreams are just the brain tidying up from the day, and constructing vaguely connected stories out of the elements it finds lying around.  Sometimes that's a goat, sometimes it's Angelina Jolie.  If I tried to make sense of it all I wouldn't have time to talk about anything else in therapy!

The dreams that do mean something, whether sexual or other, I usually realize when I wake up-- it's not the dream that has the meaning, it's the insight it gives my waking mind.  No insight, no meaning.