I've had both..a couple of times lol
I started off seeing a normal one at school. She was still a student, in last year of her master's program. I went to her cuz was depressed and also cuz of this.
After reading everyone here recommending gender therapists, I became worried that she wasn't, I guess qualified, to deal with that side of things so I started looking for one of them. I was unsure and questioning and didn't know all the much about the process and figured they could help better than my current one could in that regard.
So eventually I found one and started seeing her for gender issues. That was almost solely what we talked about with that one, the other one, who I did tell at the end of the first meeting, I was using more for depression and life issues. Sometimes the issues would come up with the different ones but usually was like that.
The first gender one introduced me to a support group, that was about all that came from her. We weren't a good match; she is deaf and I mumble and talk fast lol so can't read lips. After a few meeting with her, she started jerking me around for a few months, then finally passed me off to someone else who just started at the same place. I had met him at the support group one time, he identifies as genderqueer, so I was thrilled to start seeing him.
He helped me out in a few different areas but I got really mad and frustrated with him and no longer see him. I have told several people about him and they all say he sounds like a gatekeeper to me but thats not why I stopped with him. He was just unprofessional, best and nicest way to put it, he'd ask me to do a task, then forget to mention it next meeting. He forgot we had an appointment one time, was pretty mad since his office is an hour away from my house. Our appointments were always 4-5 pm, I would arrive then but wouldn't see him till 4:15 most days and usually left before 5 as well cuz he got off then and even one day mentioned was hoping our session would end a bit early so he could go...He just didn't seem interested in me, in helping, I guess. He promised me an hrt letter in July, July came and he put if off until August, that came and more and more excuses, delays followed. His excuse was usually he's super busy, doesn't have time to do it. Our last meeting was in like September, again promised to have my letter but didn't. He then asked me when is my endo appointment, I was like uh, what? He said oh, he meant to mention it last meeting, call and make an appointment but he didn't say it or else I would've lol, not like I would forget something like that right! He promised to have my letter ready then. I did make an appointment, but it was 3 months away.
I was still pissed at him, I figured this clown is never gonna write it, so just sort of gave up on him, I haven't emailed him for an appointment since the last time and he hasn't emailed me about anything either.
Now I have an endo appointment but no letter...I met my next gender therapist again at the support group I was going to, he took over it and asked one day if I needed a therapist, so we talked bout it and I started seeing him. He is FTM and really nice, easy to talk to, so was happy to start with him. Told him bout everything so he knew what was going on, said could do an hrt letter before my appointment. That one fell apart too on me though.
One day, I was in a bad mood, just got some info that made me mad, and like right afterwards he texted me about hrt, saying WPATH required rle prior to one. I have read many posts here about that here, saying it wasn't required, and read it myself after I got the message to see if it was correct or not. It doesn't say anything there about that and besides, a friend of mine went through his supervisor and got one way before she went full-time. So, I was pissed at this point, and I called him out in it in my reply email. Guess he didn't appreciate it lol, haven't seen him since for therapy and am apparently banned from the group...!
Anyways, in the meantime, was getting all my tests done prior to that endo appointment so that I wouldn't have to wait longer after that to start, and found out had high e for some reason. My pcp, who ran the tests, had me go to an endo for further testing, to rule out cancer and stuff, told her everything, she sent me to a doc who does hrt. Still needed letter though GRR!
Had kept meeting with my normal therapist this whole time, talked about this on and off throughout, and I asked her if she would write me one. She needed to know what was needed in it, I emailed the endo, got the reply and sent it off, and bam, next week had my letter! Wow, was it really that hard to do so?? Did have problems with getting the first endo the letter, idiots apparently dunno how to fax...I eventually asked for a copy of it and faxed it myself and guess what, doc got it. It arrived after my first appointment with the first endo so couldn't start e but had spiro from her. Right before she got it, I had been asking if she got it every couple of days so was keeping in fairly close contact, well, after a bit of convo, she drops the bomb saying she really wanted rle also prior to starting e. I was like, you are just NOW bringing that up?!?! Was pissed, no way I would do that, that's another long story though. Luckily, had other endo a few days after, had all my stuff, wham, no problem, no issue, got my e and spiro from him.
Just saw my therapist this week after a bit of a break due to the holidays and a family emergency, found she would've went to bat for me, prolly would've gotten it from the first one afterall but what's done is done, got my e anyway so no need now.
So tldr version: my normal non gender therapist was much better for me than the gender ones. She came thru for me when they failed me. Prolly didn't need to see them at all though did meet my speech therapist cuz of them and the current endo from their recommendations, other one may have worked out in the end though, did meet a somewhat friend in one of the group meeting I attended, other than that, wonder what would've happened if would've just stuck to the one instead of messing around with them? Probably would've gotten hrt faster lol. Went to them cuz wasn't sure, or didn't wanna admit it,but idk, maybe all the hell I went thru in the last few months helped with this, but recently sort of just realized I don't need them to confirm anything anymore. So for now and in the near future at least, normal therapist it is for me.
Anyways, that is my experience with all this, hope it helps. Not trying to dissuade you from going to one, it is probably preferable, but go with what you can, who you can, who you feel helps you the most, who you are more comfortable with.
