A few of my fears

[Electric Fuzzball]

I have identified myself female for years, yet only came out very recently. I have slowly been telling people that I trust about this and about my decisions. 3 friends, my brother, and my counselor know and have been a great help recently. My real fears have been making me extremely nervous.

I know that if I came out to my sisters, they would accept me. My problem is my mother and my other brother. They don't act well on things like this, even if they do accept it. My mom has a tendency to tell people things and misinterpret things. If this info were to get to the part of my family that is religious, I'd be completely done for.

I am a bit socially awkward, and usually blurt out stuff that I didn't mean to say. I'm afraid that I might get excited and accidentally come out to the wrong people. I almost did today when my my friends (2 girls, they're a couple) were talking about their female crushes. I showed them a pic of a girl from an anime that I admired, and almost uttered out the words. I spent the rest of the day really depressed.

I am accepting all advice, and I'll bring up more things if I think of them....feeling a bit sick...

[JulieBlair]

Hello,
I'm guessing you are pretty young and that makes openness hard. That you've talked to your counselor is a good thing, at least there is someone in your corner who gets it.  What did your brother have to say?  Here is the thing, it won't get any easier and eventually you'll open your mouth and it will all come pouring out.  You might try writing down exactly what your feelings are and why.  Dysphoria is real and can be life threatening, if you describe your feelings and beliefs on paper you have something to fall back on when you get tongue tied.  It works for me anyway.  That way you can review exactly what you need to express with people who understand and who know you well.

Whatcha think?

Julie

[Electric Fuzzball]

Hello,
I'm guessing you are pretty young and that makes openness hard. That you've talked to your counselor is a good thing, at least there is someone in your corner who gets it.  What did your brother have to say?  Here is the thing, it won't get any easier and eventually you'll open your mouth and it will all come pouring out.  You might try writing down exactly what your feelings are and why.  Dysphoria is real and can be life threatening, if you describe your feelings and beliefs on paper you have something to fall back on when you get tongue tied.  It works for me anyway.  That way you can review exactly what you need to express with people who understand and who know you well.

Whatcha think?

Julie

Hi Julie, and thanks for replying.

Yes, I am very young, 19 by the end of January. My brother came out and told people that he was gay earlier this year, so he understood what I'm going through. He accepted me instantly and offered to help out. Talking to the counselor was definitely a good thing for me, she helped me out a bit and gave me a bit of advice. I talk to one of my friends when I feel the need, she is very open and accepting.

[Electric Fuzzball]

I love all of my family, no matter how intolerant some of them can be. I just don't want to make enemies out of family because because I chose to be who I am. I know that I couldn't go to any family events ever again, and although it may hurt, it's really my only option. I'll have my girlfriends family though, they are more tolerant.