New to forum - Just getting started

[Jaidi]

Hello, fellow travelers...

I'm new to this forum and have recently started 'baby doses' of estradiol, objective being to see how things go with my dysphoria and general situation.  I've been undergoing counseling for some time now. My endocrinologist just recommended a slight increase in the dose, which I've begun.   

After about 2 months, I can report that the dysphoria has decreased, although I have to be objective - this could be as much a factor to recent external stress conditions as it might be due to an improved glandular balance. I am grateful for that.  However, I've certainly not experienced any of the desirable outcomes some have reported here, such as changes in nipples, etc.  A fat part of my awareness is disappointed in that; the other part is somewhat relieved, as I fear failing to measure up as a woman.

I do understand that such changes should occur over a much longer timeframe and am glad for that, as I am still wrestling with the whole dynamic of a substantial life change... as it is now something to be trifled with.   Everything is at stake and I need to be sure that I am making the right life choice, for myself and for my familiars.  Anyway, I just thought I'd chime in.

Take care and be nice to yourselves,

Jaidi

[Pikachu]

Welcome to the forum.

[stephaniec]

welcome and it is a huge change your approaching

[Emerald_Marsh]

I'm new to this and need help want to meet people who understand this

[Pikachu]

Welcome as well, Emerald Marsh. Glad you both decided to join us.

*hugs*

[mrs izzy]

Welcome Jaidia to Susan's family
There are a few here that should have information to help.
In the meantime pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for the site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Safe passage on your path, popcorn?

Izzy

[Kaylee Angelia]

When you're body is running on the right fuel your heart knows it. To quote the Oracle, "You didn't come here to make the choice...you've already made it. Now you have to understand "why" you made it...."

Welcome Hon...

[Jaidi]

Oh, where do I begin... 

I just look in the mirror and cringe.  I do not have much in the way of a face or a body build that would ever be construed as being feminine.  Heart not withstanding.   Moreover, being 3/4 through my 5th decade, I am rather late in moving to realizing a real change.  While I'd love a real change, I am left wondering if it was too little, too late. 

There it is.  I've stated my darkest fear - that I'd be trading a life of a certain measure (as a male, of good standing), for one of  uncertain acceptance (as an ugly, not-quite female... late in the game).  Gulp.

Again, this is my fear in its darkest form.  Meanwhile, I've been longing for acceptance as myself since, oh I don't know, about 10-11 yrs old.  As a girl.  A girl, I cannot be.  Not in my 5th decade.  I've lots of catching up to do.  Is it realistically possible, or simply too late?

I wonder...

Jaidi

[Ali girl]

When you're body is running on the right fuel your heart knows it. To quote the Oracle, "You didn't come here to make the choice...you've already made it. Now you have to understand "why" you made it...."

Welcome Hon...

Perfect quote for this journey we take. 

Welcome.

Many girls on here are in various steps of the journey, so you will find the resources you need.  Low dose is just that, low.  I started there, it helped a lot with my mood, but nothing notable physically, but on a "normal" dose, you may have great results, others may not.  You final product is all a mater of genetics.  You will see a lot of "ymmv" as this means "your milage may vary". Find that place where you want to be and enjoy it.    

Oh, where do I begin... 

I just look in the mirror and cringe.  I do not have much in the way of a face or a body build that would ever be construed as being feminine.  Heart not withstanding.   Moreover, being 3/4 through my 5th decade, I am rather late in moving to realizing a real change.  While I'd love a real change, I am left wondering if it was too little, too late. 

There it is.  I've stated my darkest fear - that I'd be trading a life of a certain measure (as a male, of good standing), for one of  uncertain acceptance (as an ugly, not-quite female... late in the game).  Gulp.

Again, this is my fear in its darkest form.  Meanwhile, I've been longing for acceptance as myself since, oh I don't know, about 10-11 yrs old.  As a girl.  A girl, I cannot be.  Not in my 5th decade.  I've lots of catching up to do.  Is it realistically possible, or simply too late?

I wonder...

Jaidi

It is never to late. Many girls deal with this later in life. 

[Pikachu]

Jaidi, you'll find that we have many members here your age and beyond. Others have transitioned at a similar point in their lives and have been successful. It's never too late.

[Cindy]

Oh, where do I begin... 

I just look in the mirror and cringe.  I do not have much in the way of a face or a body build that would ever be construed as being feminine.  Heart not withstanding.   Moreover, being 3/4 through my 5th decade, I am rather late in moving to realizing a real change.  While I'd love a real change, I am left wondering if it was too little, too late. 

There it is.  I've stated my darkest fear - that I'd be trading a life of a certain measure (as a male, of good standing), for one of  uncertain acceptance (as an ugly, not-quite female... late in the game).  Gulp.

Again, this is my fear in its darkest form.  Meanwhile, I've been longing for acceptance as myself since, oh I don't know, about 10-11 yrs old.  As a girl.  A girl, I cannot be.  Not in my 5th decade.  I've lots of catching up to do.  Is it realistically possible, or simply too late?

I wonder...

Jaidi

Check out the before and after thread, there is a Forum Admin who started HRT at 58, she is a pretty hot old chick now (if I say so myself!) Well I have to 'cos no one else will

[Alexis2107]

I have to agree, transitioning is a very stressful time.  At least you're on HRT as it is, I am thinking the most stressful for me as of late is the waiting between doctors or therapist appointments.  My therapist is so busy it takes a month just to get an appointment, and she works out of like three different offices and works from 8am to 9pm... I couldn't imagine having that job lol.... but going to see my hormones doctor isn't quite as bad, I can get in to see him within two weeks at least.  Then the stress of hair removal, hiding things from family, etc.... yeah, transitioning isn't for the weak, just so many things have to accomplish and it gets aggravating at times.

[Newgirl Dani]

Hi Jaidi, as all here have already said, well I completely agree, wise words.  One thing I would like to add though is that there is a nice 'tone' to your posts that underscores a good level of thought and feeling on your part.  These are all ingredients to success.  I am also a late bloomer so to speak, as my hrt did not start until late into my 62nd year and now a few months into my 63rd I am seeing nice things happen.  All of the concerns you have mentioned are very familiar, but for me each of these is lessening as time goes by.  This forum is a very good place to be, not only for learning positive bits of info but a good place for comfort and help when things are dark.  A big welcome. 

And to Emerald_Marsh welcome to you as well.     Dani 

[Jerri]

hi Jaidi,
5.7 decades, out and living full time less than a year
facing those those fears was for me the best step I have ever taken in my life
as me I am alive and thats way better with or without acceptance of any other
there are so many choices in life that we face daily, this is just another for you to make for what you feel is best for you alone
just know that there are many here who will offer and stand in support to help you find you way no matter what path you are finding works for you

welcome this site has helped me along my way many way

[Jaidi]

Hello, fellow travelers...

It's been three months for me now and I can now report that, even with the introductory low E dose, I have begun seeing subtle changes in skin texture, luster and am showing initial signs of breast budding.  I am both scared and excited.  And ...hopeful.  A huge piece of me just loves the thought of filling out as a real girl should.   The other piece of me is terrified of losing/letting go of the familiar, and finding herself alone in the cold.  We'll see what the new year brings.  :-)

Jaidi

[katrinaw]

Hello, fellow travelers...

I'm new to this forum and have recently started 'baby doses' of estradiol, objective being to see how things go with my dysphoria and general situation.  I've been undergoing counseling for some time now. My endocrinologist just recommended a slight increase in the dose, which I've begun.   

After about 2 months, I can report that the dysphoria has decreased, although I have to be objective - this could be as much a factor to recent external stress conditions as it might be due to an improved glandular balance. I am grateful for that.  However, I've certainly not experienced any of the desirable outcomes some have reported here, such as changes in nipples, etc.  A fat part of my awareness is disappointed in that; the other part is somewhat relieved, as I fear failing to measure up as a woman.

I do understand that such changes should occur over a much longer timeframe and am glad for that, as I am still wrestling with the whole dynamic of a substantial life change... as it is now something to be trifled with.   Everything is at stake and I need to be sure that I am making the right life choice, for myself and for my familiars.  Anyway, I just thought I'd chime in.

Take care and be nice to yourselves,

Jaidi

Welcome Jaidi... you'll find all the help and advice you need here, I am and have to date

Yes Hormonal body changes do take a while, happy that your Dysphoria has abated.

As far as your later posts go, body shape (body fats) will be redistributed, as time goes, how well you do depends on your age, build and hormones...

Try not to be too disappointed by looking in the mirror, and being over critical in your appearance, its what you are inside that counts... trust me I have done the self same thing and realise that you will alway's look like you, but with time softer lines, softer skin, slight thinning of the neck, boobs and a waist.... and if your lucky a bigger butt 

Take care, and as I said before welcome

L Katy