I've always been known to be a nice, generous, kind person... So why is it that I can just be treated like common refuse? I either been thrown out by the people I cared for, left alone by them, or betrayed. I don't even know how I have the strength to get out of my bed day after day....
I guess that I could just explain what I mean...
I have always given every little bit of my loving and kindness to the people I care for, but I am recently noticing that most of it was in vain.
- Jessica, my first crush- for the longest time she would lead me on like I had a chance.... then she gets a new friend and WAM! I'm the first one to go...
- My Father.... I hate using this, but... I loved my father so much, we were very, very close... He died without a word, I could only say "goodbye" to the flesh that used to house my father's soul...
- Pat, Ben, Nelson, my old Runescape buddies- I moved away, but tried keeping contact with them... futile effort...
- Mike and Jan, my other runescape buddies- just flat out left me...
Ann Moon, my former Norwegian friend- We met on Runescape while doing an event. We were really good friends back then, we would always talk and give each other gifts. Things went ->-bleeped-<-ty when her friend showed her the "wonders" of alcohol. She then starts getting on and off the game sporadically, spouting inconsistent nonsense... then she brings up suicide, due to what a doctor and her university said. She goes off to tell me that she's a useless human being and how her..rope snapped on her first try. I reasoned with her for hours, all in what seemed a futile attempt at redeeming someone that had once been my best friend. She went silent for 5 months, I was devastated, I thought she might have actually had a successful attempt. She was a mindless husk of what she once was, still as negative about everything as she was that day.
Here comes the worst part of it all... I log in the other day, really depressed because my day was going terrible. She is on, I notice this right off the bat, but I was really not in the mood to hear here whine. She messages me, saying that I don't need to be her friend anymore, then she deletes me... only to come back while I'm crying and blame me for it... I...
There are others... but after typing those things about Ann I'd rather not put them up, as they'll only hurt me more...
I understand that I have friends here, and that there will always be people out there for me.... but what's the use when the ones I care for the most just leave me...
