Dysphoria to be trans*?

[mynameisjacob]

This I know is a really difficult subject to discuss without fighting or arguing, so please try not to be too negative. What are your thoughts on "you must have some form of dysphoria to be trans*"? I personally agree with it. I am not talking about body dysphoria. Just dysphoria in general (pronouns, name, body etc). I mean, otherwise how would you know you're trans*? The dysphoria doesn't have to be intense, just something to make you realise that you're not your assigned gender. I actually had someone delete me on facebook over this topic (I don't care, he's a real prude in general) but I wanted to know other people's thoughts.

[Elis]

I think you have to have some degree of body dysphoria as why wouldn't you if you're brain doesn't match what you have physically.  As well as the other types of dysphoria you mentioned. I said some degree as it doesn't have to be the stereotyped definition of a trans person were you self loathe yourself about everything constantly which includes pronouns and birthname. Just has to be on the spectrum some where.

[suzifrommd]

I never had dysphoria. I liked myself as a male, and liked my body.

Yes I thought it would have been wonderful if I had been born a female, and yes I wished I could just "become a woman", but these thoughts didn't bother me much. Most people have something they wish they could be. An astronaut? A rock star? For me it was a woman.

My transgender showed itself in a sort of EUphoria when I first began seeing myself as a woman and realizing it was possible. Clean shaven arms and legs, my sweet feminine voice, fluid gestures and a female wardrobe, all gave me an electrically euphoric sense of the possible.

[ImagineKate]

I think that if you don't think you have dysphoria and you will be happier as another gender then there should be nothing stopping you. However in either case before you take permanent steps you should be 100% sure.

[mynameisjacob]

I never had dysphoria. I liked myself as a male, and liked my body.

Yes I thought it would have been wonderful if I had been born a female, and yes I wished I could just "become a woman", but these thoughts didn't bother me much. Most people have something they wish they could be. An astronaut? A rock star? For me it was a woman.

My transgender showed itself in a sort of EUphoria when I first began seeing myself as a woman and realizing it was possible. Clean shaven arms and legs, my sweet feminine voice, fluid gestures and a female wardrobe, all gave me an electrically euphoric sense of the possible.

But there must have been something that made you uncomfortable as a man, right? I just don't understand why you'd transition from one gender to another if there was nothing making you feel uncomfortable with your gender assigned at birth. Not that I think your opinion or identity is invalid

[NathanielM]

I personally do have dysphoria, physical and social. But I do think it's possible to be okay in your current gender(expression) but to know that you'll feel better in another. I also think that if you're quite sure about that and have thought about that enough, that's a valid reason to seek some form of transitioning.

[Rachel]

I do not know if you have to have dysphoria to be trans. I do not know how another person feels or how they see themselves. If presenting as a different gender than assigned at birth makes them happy then they are trans to me and perhaps to themselves.

I have dysphoria pretty bad and on different levels. I swallowed a lot of homophobia and transphobia bigotry. So I am recovering from a lot of hate. It manifested as self hate. So I hated who I was. Then there is the wrong everything as far as body, face and genitals. I did some destructive things to myself because it hurt so bad. I want to correct the damage from Testosterone and hiding who I am the best I can. So I consider myself as trans and some would call me transsexual, I do.

A lot of people do not "get" the Pride Parade concept. If you never had pride in yourself and marched in a Pride Parade the feeling of belonging and being with people who are like yourself is very powerful and cathartic.

[darkblade]

I second guess myself a lot because of this. Although I believe my life would make more sense if I were a guy, and I'd probably be much happier, sometimes I feel like I don't have nearly enough dysphoria to warrant a transition. Yeah, I don't like being referred to as a female, I've taken to not taking off my binder until it begins to hurt, not a huge fan of my hips, and stuff.. But it seems to me that dysphoria causes people deep depression, which is why transition makes sense, while for me (though I may be depressed) I just don't feel like it causes me that extent of emotional harm. I feel like saying that I want to transition makes me seem (at least to myself) like I'm doing it for fun while others do it in order to stay alive.

I do have a huge problem with traditional female gender roles though, I've never cared for anything that's supposed to be feminine.

[suzifrommd]

But there must have been something that made you uncomfortable as a man, right? I just don't understand why you'd transition from one gender to another if there was nothing making you feel uncomfortable with your gender assigned at birth. Not that I think your opinion or identity is invalid

No. Not uncomfortable as a man. More that I've always wanted to be a woman. Like if you'd want to drive a cool car. Nothing wrong with your old car. Gets you from here to there. But still the idea of having a flashier car is enticing.

Once I began taking steps to transition and felt how right being female is, there was no way I could go back to living full-time as a male. I couldn't leave that "right" feeling behind.

Make sense?

[Cin]

I think that dysphoria manifests itself in many many forms. Yes, I do have body dysphoria now at 23, but I don't have it ALL the time, it doesn't really act up unless I do or see something that makes me feel 'male'. but I didn't really have it when I was 10 years old or younger, I just felt 'uncomfortable', but the signs were always there when I was very young.

What is dysphoria to some may not be the popular norm for dysphoria, so that may make them think they have no dysphoria. Maybe you can have no dysphoria but, It could get worse with age, when relationships, jobs and marriages comes into the picture. 

[Mara]

I suppose it is possible for someone to transition without having dysphoria. I don't see why anyone would though unless they felt that their gender was incorrect given how difficult it is to transition. I think that feeling like another gender is more correct counts as well. Carrot or stick, you're still being prodded to go the same place.

[Elis]

I think that dysphoriaria manifests itself in many many forms. Yes, I do have body dysphoria now at 23, but I don't have it ALL the time, it doesn't really act up unless I do or see something that makes me feel 'male'. but I didn't really have it when I was 10 years old or younger, I just felt 'uncomfortable', but the signs were always there when I was very young.

What is dysphoria to some may not be the popular norm for dysphoria, so that may make them think they have no dysphoria. Maybe you can have no dysphoria but, It could get worse with age, when relationships, jobs and marriages comes into the picture.

I find this so true. I've felt uncomfortable from around 10 as gender norms became more apparent then I had body dysphoria. And i did realise i was trans when i felt likr my gfs bf not gf.

[kast]

I find it difficult to understand a motivation for transitioning if you had no type of dysphoria at all. But it does seem to be some peoples experience, so I don't think that's an 'invalid' way to be trans.

I guess it makes no sense to me, because transitioning is a huge process that can cause complications in all aspects of life, and may leave you vulnerable to hate crimes or family disowning you. I gladly accepted all the risks because it's worth it, because my dysphoria was bad enough that the idea of not transitioning made me suicidal. I doubt I could've achieved (or even desired) social or medical transition without dysphoria motivating me into action.

[kast]

I never had dysphoria. I liked myself as a male, and liked my body.

Yes I thought it would have been wonderful if I had been born a female, and yes I wished I could just "become a woman", but these thoughts didn't bother me much. Most people have something they wish they could be. An astronaut? A rock star? For me it was a woman.

My transgender showed itself in a sort of EUphoria when I first began seeing myself as a woman and realizing it was possible. Clean shaven arms and legs, my sweet feminine voice, fluid gestures and a female wardrobe, all gave me an electrically euphoric sense of the possible.

I'm curious as to why your desire to be female was so strong without any dysphoria. How did you weigh the pros and cons of transitioning or not? Do you think that if you had to transition back to male now, then you would feel dysphoria this time around?

Did you have any trouble with your psychs and doctors? Because I thought that a 'diagnosis' of GID/gender dysphoria requires exactly that; gender dysphoria.

[IdontEven]

I never had dysphoria. I liked myself as a male, and liked my body.

Yes I thought it would have been wonderful if I had been born a female, and yes I wished I could just "become a woman", but these thoughts didn't bother me much. Most people have something they wish they could be. An astronaut? A rock star? For me it was a woman.

My transgender showed itself in a sort of EUphoria when I first began seeing myself as a woman and realizing it was possible. Clean shaven arms and legs, my sweet feminine voice, fluid gestures and a female wardrobe, all gave me an electrically euphoric sense of the possible.

This post meant a lot to me, thank you. It's something I've been wrestling a bit.

To steal your car analogy and run with it - for me it's like having a car that maybe the alignment's out of whack, or it's got a donut spare tire on, or something. It works, it gets me from A to B, and as it's the only one I've ever had I've become attached to it. But it doesn't really drive -well- and it's frankly kind of embarrassing to be seen in. I guess that's dysphoria in itself huh?

Great thread!

[Carrie Liz]

I've posted this before, and I think it's a good guide...

This is the DSM diagnostic criteria for being transgender:

"A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months duration, as manifested by 2 or more of the following indicators:

1. A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or, in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)
2. A strong desire to be rid of one's primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one's experienced/expressed gender (or, in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)
3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender)
5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender)
6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender) "



So, basically, the principle experience of being trans is feeling like you should be the opposite sex, not necessarily dysphoria. Now, dysphoria is indeed indicated in many of these indicators. Indicators #1, #2, and #6 are the ones that deal with dysphoria. And again, diagnosis requires only two. So basically, according to the official criteria, one does not have to be unhappy with their current sex in order to be trans, they just need to feel that they wish that they could be the other sex, and either wish that they have the body of that sex, or wish they could be treated socially as that sex, and these feelings need to persist for 6 months or more.

It's uncommon for someone to not have dysphoria, but it definitely can happen.

[mynameisjacob]

But whatever it is that makes you realise you are another gender, or would be happier as another gendder surely would class itself as some form of dysphoria right? Even if minute. Otherwise how would you know?

[jeni]

Count me as another mostly dysphoria-free case. It's actually really reassuring to see that I'm not alone in that regard. I can certainly understand how it might be easier to understand ->-bleeped-<- among those with the dysphoria. That might be why it took me so long to identify myself as trans.

But whatever it is that makes you realise you are another gender, or would be happier as another gendder surely would class itself as some form of dysphoria right? Even if minute. Otherwise how would you know?

At least for me, you just know. If I asked myself, "Do I wish I were a woman instead?" the answer was always a resounding yes. Why? I have no idea, it just always has been that way.

How do you know you're hungry? You just do. Maybe it's a little like that, I don't know. Somehow your brain is telling you something. You don't have to know how or why, you just get the message.

[Adam (birkin)]

I wouldn't have transitioned if I didn't have dysphoria. Way too much hassle, arguing, tears, etc etc. So I personally struggle to understand why someone would do all this if they didn't feel something to drive them to it. But, I do know people who have successfully transitioned and are happy but never had dysphoria as their birth sex, so.

[Lady_Oracle]

My personal take on this subject is once you realize your need for transition, that dysphoria may come at some point or another, which was sort of my situation. Like it could be triggered by someone misgendering you where as before transition it was whatever and not really something that bothered me. The dysphoria I had pretransition as a teenager was body dysphoria (due to puberty) it was very different from the dysphoria I later developed after coming to terms with myself, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. The social side of it, people misgendering me, using the wrong pronouns etc. And as a child I had a lot of signs that I was trans, I just was terrified of telling anyone how I was truly feeling. The dysphoria would hit me during elementary school and in middle school it was an odd sense of disorientation, like a few times I became dizzy from it.

On another note the older transitioners lived through a very different time in society so for them being able to actually realize what dysphoria was or even if it was happening was probably difficult for them to figure out. They didn't have the resources our generation has to be able to know that transition is possible and stuff. So depending on what era you lived through, dysphoria in itself may have either been super suppressed or not even apparent in day to day life. Its important to note that dysphoria like others have said manifests in many different ways and some of those ways can be difficult to see that its actually dysphoria or possibly something else.

In the end it goes to show our reasoning for transitioning, dysphoria or not is a case by case scenario.