How much does sexual dimorphism matter in passing?

[lemons]

I wonder about certain body parts making passing harder. I actually don't even care about long term situations where people clock me as trans. Like, if I'm in a work place for a while and people realize I'm trans....whatever. I actually don't care, so long as I'm just seen as female. If people have a problem with me being trans they can go screw honestly.

But what I do care about is being seen as female and passing enough in day to day situations. In that walking around in the world I want to be seen as female more often than not. Do certain body parts even matter in these cases?

In my case I feel like almost every part of my body is a problem. Being 6 feet tall isn't terrible, but I also have 8 inch long hands,(from top of middle finger to bottom of palm, 3.5 inches across the palm) wear size 12 shoes in womens, have small hips, a large head, (23.5 inches around) and while not unheard of in length size (17.5 inches-18 inches), rather square shoulders. I usually don't obsess over my hands and feet size because I guess they don't stick out as looking too big but I always wonder and worry.
How much leeway would I have? I feel like I can kinda get away with the shoulders, lack of hips, and height part if I have a passable enough face and voice. (which is possible to achieve so I'm not mentioning it here) However I wonder if those other parts of my body even matter? I ask because I feel like most trans women that pass have one or two of these things on their bodies but not...all at once, which worries me.

Just wondering if others deal with a hodgepodge of features like these they feel gives them away, but actually never really does.

[Jill F]

I'm a monster!  The horror!!!

No, seriously, I'm larger than that in every way.  I pass just fine.  It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself.

[Electric Fuzzball]

Same shoe size, almost same hand length, dunno about my head radius, but my shoulders are quite thin although they're about the same length.

I've constantly been told that I would easily pass with a few things like make up, and hair.

Wouldn't really care if I didn't, as long as I can present the gender I feel to myself.

[lemons]

I'm a monster!  The horror!!!

No, seriously, I'm larger than that in every way.  I pass just fine.  It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself.

I doubt anyone has as large a head as mine.

[Mai]

some women have weirdly sized parts of their body as well, nothing to worry that much about.

my sisters hands make mine look so tiny.  and i thaught my hands were big with being able to reach far on the piano.  her hands are ~10 inches in length. and same as yours 3.5inches in width.  at thanksgiving everyone started trying to compare their hands to hers and she made all of ours look tiny by comparison.  but unless she shows you and points it out.   you never notice at all.  6'2" and she complains about having to order size 11 shoes, and barely an A-cup  @ 18 years old.   unless you really stare at her and try to find something weird about her you wouldnt know.   me being at 5'11" or so, i dont really notice the couple extra inches she has on me unless i try to stand right next to her.   in spite of her hatred of makeup and that she doesnt use it, you would still never think anything weird unless your looking at her trying to find something out of place.   most people will be too busy with themselves to pay attention to the little details about others around them.

i actually didnt know how gigantic her hands were, and shes proud to have giant hands.   course shes a horse riding girl and does alot of outdoor activities and work.

[JulianWS]

some women have weirdly sized parts of their body as well, nothing to worry that much about.

my sisters hands make mine look so tiny.  and i thaught my hands were big with being able to reach far on the piano.  her hands are ~10 inches in length. and same as yours 3.5inches in width.  at thanksgiving everyone started trying to compare their hands to hers and she made all of ours look tiny by comparison.  but unless she shows you and points it out.   you never notice at all.

This, except I wouldn't say it's weird :p  Cis women come in all shapes and sizes, and some have a lot of so-called "masculine" attributes but no one ever questions their gender because it doesn't occur to most people that someone might be transgender unless they fit the media's crude portrayal of trans* folk (i.e. a cross-dressing man).  Even then they are still going to assume that they are probably wrong.

[suzifrommd]

Honestly, I think the big hands would be a problem. The rest is probably manageable.

[lemons]

some women have weirdly sized parts of their body as well, nothing to worry that much about.

my sisters hands make mine look so tiny.  and i thaught my hands were big with being able to reach far on the piano.  her hands are ~10 inches in length. and same as yours 3.5inches in width.  at thanksgiving everyone started trying to compare their hands to hers and she made all of ours look tiny by comparison.  but unless she shows you and points it out.   you never notice at all.  6'2" and she complains about having to order size 11 shoes, and barely an A-cup  @ 18 years old.   unless you really stare at her and try to find something weird about her you wouldnt know.   me being at 5'11" or so, i dont really notice the couple extra inches she has on me unless i try to stand right next to her.   in spite of her hatred of makeup and that she doesnt use it, you would still never think anything weird unless your looking at her trying to find something out of place.   most people will be too busy with themselves to pay attention to the little details about others around them.

i actually didnt know how gigantic her hands were, and shes proud to have giant hands.   course shes a horse riding girl and does alot of outdoor activities and work.

Damn.  I've never heard of 10 inches in length, from middle finger to wrist?  If that's actually the case I feel a lot better.

[Ms Grace]

Since you are talking about how those features will appear in general public mingling (as opposed to other more regular contact) I wouls suggest you not worry. The majority of people won't even notice you let alone details like your hand and foot size. Are you on HRT? I think you'll find some aspects of what you've discussed will change, especially your shoulders.

[Electric Fuzzball]

Are you on HRT? I think you'll find some aspects of what you've discussed will change, especially your shoulders.

So... you're saying that I'll have better and cuter shoulders than I do now! 0.0

If so, that's absolutely amazing news!

[Ms Grace]

Depends on your current muscle mass, chances are you will lose it over the course of two years. If your currently cute shoulders have a lot of muscle then yes you might potentially find they become cuter. If not then it's unlikely much will change.

[Electric Fuzzball]

Depends on your current muscle mass, chances are you will lose it over the course of two years. If your currently cute shoulders have a lot of muscle then yes you might potentially find they become cuter. If not then it's unlikely much will change.

They are okay, I'm in the lower levels of uppers body strength, but definitely not at the bottom.

[lemons]

Since you are talking about how those features will appear in general public mingling (as opposed to other more regular contact) I wouls suggest you not worry. The majority of people won't even notice you let alone details like your hand and foot size. Are you on HRT? I think you'll find some aspects of what you've discussed will change, especially your shoulders.

I've been on HRT for 2.5 years. :/

[Ms Grace]

And you are able to pass in public now?

[Jill F]

I doubt anyone has as large a head as mine.

24 inches here.  I really do have a big fat melon.  I guess my brain needs a pretty serious vault.

[Mariah]

That's what I thought coming in and as a result of not having much muscle or strength to begin with I didn't think I would lose much if anything. I was wrong. I lost a good amount.
Mariah

They are okay, I'm in the lower levels of uppers body strength, but definitely not at the bottom.

[lemons]

And you are able to pass in public now?

No.  I mean not 90% of the time.

24 inches here.  I really do have a big fat melon.  I guess my brain needs a pretty serious vault.

I'm about 23.75 inches.  Not far behind.
I'm also have a really thin body so it just automatically makes me look like a dude no matter what.