I've always pondered if i began too early. I'll make my long story short....
I began to have feelings that were weird in my teen years but i couldn't put my finger on it. When i was 17 i had my first manicure and it felt awesome. I wore my first dress as gag for Halloween. I went as a european woman. Of course no offense to any europeans out there. I didn't shave my legs. Anyways, When i was 28, the office that i work for was having a Halloween contest. The winner would win $100 gift card. I had my eye on the prize. I decided to dress as a woman but i wanted to do it so well that i would be unrecognizable. I learned everything i needed to. But when i put on my first wig and my first outfit as well as Make up. I couldn't stop looking at the mirror and for the first time i felt pretty, it was the first time i felt gorgeous. It was the first time i felt like i saw the real me. Who knew that at the time a Halloween costume introduced myself to the real me.
My mom thought for the longest time that i was a weirdo. I didn't get along with her for most of my life. We butted heads a lot of the time. At age 30 i began the journey of gastric bypass surgery. At that point i was a monstrous 300 pounds.I needed to make a change by 2012 at the age of 31 i ended up getting the surgery. During my recovery process i began dating someone. That relationship sadly only last 5 months. I felt used and I felt like i was living a lie. When i broke up with my ex in anger i had told her that she had never tried at all to make me feel like a "man". At the time she might've realized that maybe i was too much of a girl and maybe she didn't want to tell me. Anyway, I also ended confessing to her that before i met her i was in the process of having a sex change. And thanks to her i realized that i shouldn't have changed course. I lost more weight and I did a ton of research, and finally at the awesome age of 33 i did everything on my to do list. I lost my virginity, I had been seeing a therapist. And i've been putting my life into perspective.
Finally in July of 2014, I began taking hormones. And i have not regretted anything at all. I'm very pleased with my life. But sometimes i feel like i've might've of started too early but i don't feel that way but it is a thought that comes accross my head. At this moment I spend 99 percent of my day dressed as a female because it is who i truly am and i am tired to hiding the real me from the world. My parents and my brother have gotten used to me dressing this way. But at almost 7 months on hormones i've had my breast began to "bud" so i've gotten to embarrassed to wear men's clothing. I began to dress female full time since this past September. Does anyone who read this agree i might of started too early?
