Dysphoria can be realized in many ways. Overall I cannot say I was unhappy being a guy, just rather not have been. Same for the dangly bits, we've had some great times together. Still, since about the age of 4-5 I prayed/wished every night to wake up as a girl. That wish never went away. I envied women all my life. I wanted to be one, but... better luck next lifetime. So I just kept plugging away at trying to be "normal". Yeah, something wasn't right. Is that dysphoria? My personal experience says Yes. Clinically speaking, well....
"Strong" is a strong word, open to broad interpretation. However I feel there may be too many times that normal questioning or "What If" feelings are directed into the TG diagnosis pigeon hole. My playing God only extends to controlling the future, I don't want to make the call on what is best for another persons life. Mine is hard enough to sort out. I beat the minimum of two. I'd call them strong, but only in the same sense as a kid falling down can cry for several minutes over the slight pain and embarrassment. Through an adult eyes, it is nothing. But when I was that kid, it hurt like hell. Maybe I am too grown up to allow myself to feel the pain. Actually, as time goes by I feel it way too much. Six years ago I wouldn't, or more likely Could Not, say strong. It scares me today to say it really really is. I couldn't even think that today unless I recognized within myself the need to address whatever it was haunting me all my life. Denial is such a powerful force of nature. Just ask any cat trying to walk through a glass door... three times.
Full Disclosure - I am a dinosaur. Little options existed in the 60's. Barely little exist today but it is a far far better world now to be trans in. TDOR and the suicide rate speaks volumes still.
In a perfect world I would be living full-time as female. I am a transsexual. Thankfully (so far) I haven't hit that "Transition or die" brick wall. Just glanced it barely once. I am envious seeing my TG support group members these past 6 years that came to the first meeting scared and afraid, and are now full-time. This past weekend I nearly cried when one of them told me I was her hero, because somehow I am making it work for me.
