silver medal phenomenon

[Danielle Emmalee]

Something I've been thinking about.  I might be crazy, but it's interesting to think about.  There have been studies showing that Olympic silver medallists are the least happy.  Gold, it's easy to see why theyd be the happiest, bronze medallists are actually second place for happiness.  The silver medallists feel the worst, possibly because they can almost taste that gold but didn't quite make it. 

I'm thinking there's an analogy in there somewhere for happiness from passing as cis.  I've found, personally, that those that are physically further from being passable tend to be way happier, and sometimes even pass better due to confidence, than those who are *almost* there.  of course, there are exceptions; there's gonna be people who pass that are miserable,  those that almost do but are happy, and of course those that are far from it and are unhappy as well.

Am I imagining this or is there the same phenomenon going on here?

[Ms Grace]

Well silver medalists often miss out by the merest fraction of a second, and yeah they'd be disappointed in the minutes and hours after their "also-ran" but obviously still spectacular performance. Hopefully once they get some perspective they'd realise it was still a major achievement. Same for us as people in transition. I'd suggest that it is those who over focus on passing as being the be all and end all of their transition are going to be the ones who are least happy regardless of their final outcome because they are often unlikely to believe they've made it over the finish line.

[katrinaw]

Spot on Danielle... and given the amount of people that are not as aggressive as others that is where a lack of confidence comes. Until you have that "pass" certificate (and I am the same) you doubt yourself, you don't doubt your desires and goals, just the confidence... I have a close fully transitioned friend, she is so confident that she could win gold every time or less and still put a positive spin on it... I am in awe of that confidence and its slowly rubbing on to me, more so since I came out to her first.
It is natural to be cautious, because we all know the hurdles of acceptance, the closer to that comfort and confidence building the closer you are to achieving the gold medal.
I also agree with Grace's comments too about peoples state and goals in life....

Good observation tho 

L Katy

[suzifrommd]

Certainly true with me. Every taste I have of what it's like truly to pass, whets my appetite. When I don't pass and I see how it's not the same, I get frustrated.