Can you be transgender if you're masculine?

[Blondie14]

I'm like in general I am realizing idk what is different between myself and other guys. How did you figure out the difference?

I realize I like being feminine but for me I think it's a physical thing. I'm actually intersex technically. So like I have felt that I want to stay the way I am. But idk mentally how that makes me any different from a guy who loves his body the way it is? At the same time I just wish I was born a girl because I feel I'd not be a complete oddball. I feel way more comfortable in female clothing but that's in a sense because my figure fits better in female clothing. Most of my friends are guys. And I've always had certain qualities a little different but it just seems to mirror what I'm suffering from rather than anything. I socialize better with guys I think? As I really don't have any female friends. I don't know in general I don't usually like what is considered female activities either. I just feel comfortable the way things are headed but I don't really know what mentally sets me apart from other guys? Because in general aside from how I look I'm not that feminine. People will say I look gay but I act straight.

One thing though is my perception sometimes I feel like when I'm with my friends like I'm the only girl. When we're all supposed to be guys. And sometimes it's uncomfortable to consider myself a straight guy. I never had these question of what gender I was when I was younger it started in like the last 2 years.

[ImagineKate]

So do you like being feminine as an inner identity, or do you just like the look of feminine clothing?

Remember, being transgender is a spectrum. It is an umbrella term for people who aren't 100% conforming to their assigned gender.

In that you have full transition, MtF and FtM, but you also have people who identify non-binary, bigender and so on. Then you have people who really just like female clothing but have no desire really to be the other gender, these are crossdressers.

All of the above are transgender because they cross the line between genders.

So which are you? Also, you do not have to fit in a box and stay in a box all your life. Some people start out as crossdressers then realize that they are transsexuals. Then there are people who start off thinking they are transsexuals, when it turns out they are crossdressers, or have a fetish for dressing.

It's really up to you to figure out where you are and a gender therapist will help you along that path.

[Blondie14]

So do you like being feminine as an inner identity, or do you just like the look of feminine clothing?

Remember, being transgender is a spectrum. It is an umbrella term for people who aren't 100% conforming to their assigned gender.

In that you have full transition, MtF and FtM, but you also have people who identify non-binary, bigender and so on. Then you have people who really just like female clothing but have no desire really to be the other gender, these are crossdressers.

All of the above are transgender because they cross the line between genders.

So which are you? Also, you do not have to fit in a box and stay in a box all your life. Some people start out as crossdressers then realize that they are transsexuals. Then there are people who start off thinking they are transsexuals, when it turns out they are crossdressers, or have a fetish for dressing.

It's really up to you to figure out where you are and a gender therapist will help you along that path.

I don't really know what feminine as my inner self means? Like how could one tell? Sometimes I feel like I'm different from my friends. And much of the time I'm not attracted to girls in the sense of the opposite sex but I'm aware im physically a girl either. I don't really what masculinity is as my inner self is either though tbh.

[ImagineKate]

I don't really know what feminine as my inner self means? Like how could one tell? Sometimes I feel like I'm different from my friends. And much of the time I'm not attracted to girls in the sense of the opposite sex but I'm aware im physically a girl either. I don't really what masculinity is as my inner self is either though tbh.

Do you think of yourself as a girl or woman? Or do you think of yourself as a man who likes to wear women's clothes?

From your first post it seems like you really don't want to be a girl, your body is just shaped a certain way and it would make things easier. Is that more or less correct?

[ImagineKate]

I know for me personally it was more than just wearing clothes and what was on the outside. Inside I viewed myself as  a female nearly constantly. The only thing holding me back was societal expectations of being a "male" including my family, friends and colleagues. But even with my friends, who were mostly women up to a point, I often showed my feminine, vulnerable side. They loved that and I would feel very much at home relating to them. It's not something I had to try very hard to do either. It just came naturally.

[Blondie14]

Do you think of yourself as a girl or woman? Or do you think of yourself as a man who likes to wear women's clothes?

From your first post it seems like you really don't want to be a girl, your body is just shaped a certain way and it would make things easier. Is that more or less correct?

I don't feel like a man like ever really. But then again I'm not an adult so lol I really am not legally either. I'm not uncomfortable when I dress as a woman if that's what you're asking though. It's kind of just looks like what I should be presenting myself. But then there's that question of if its just like I see females that have similar characteristics as myself who dress like that maybe it's societal thinking why I look in the mirror and everything seems like it fits it's not awkward.

[Blondie14]

I know for me personally it was more than just wearing clothes and what was on the outside. Inside I viewed myself as  a female nearly constantly. The only thing holding me back was societal expectations of being a "male" including my family, friends and colleagues. But even with my friends, who were mostly women up to a point, I often showed my feminine, vulnerable side. They loved that and I would feel very much at home relating to them. It's not something I had to try very hard to do either. It just came naturally.

Yeah I really don't relate well with girls my age I have one friend though that is a good friend but our relationship is quite different than my best friend who is a guy. I don't like typical things girls like it seems. I Have similar interests to my guy friends usually. I sometimes feel vulnerable but it's more to do with my friends that are guys more to do with sexual situations but nothing to do with being feminine.

[stephaniec]

sorry if I'm confused, but how did you present socially  going to grade school as in sitting in class

[Blondie14]

sorry if I'm confused, but how did you present socially  going to grade school as in sitting in class

Male I still do. I have experimented a little with dressing as a girl in private a few times. I only publicly went out crossdressing on Halloween. Which was great because I didn't tell anyone there that I was a guy. And it was a really great experience.

[stephaniec]

for me growing up , it was an intense awareness I didn't fit the male role, It was really a hard experience always trying to fit in as male.

[Blondie14]

for me growing up , it was an intense awareness I didn't fit the male role, It was really a hard experience always trying to fit in as male.

Maybe I'm inbetween more than anything. I just took the Cogiati test supposedly I'm androgyne. That makes some sense. But I do like presenting as a female on the outside. On the inside I don't really feel like man. And I don't want to become a man.

I don't feel like I fit the male role but I don't really know why that is other than because I don't look like the typical male. I have the option to grow up and be a normal man but I don't want to. I just feel like I'd fit better as a woman. But I just recognize I am very masculine in how I act normally.

[stephaniec]

for me I Just acted masculine

[Blondie14]

Hhmmm....I've known a number of masculine/butch genetic females, a few of whom are heterosexual.

That's another thing I don't think I am into guys. I have relations with my male friends but it's not like something I really ever want to do. But I don't feel like my attraction to women is a heterosexual attraction and I kind of feel weird thinking of myself as a lesbian.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a girl that's like one of the boys type of girl. I guess like a tomboy but I actually do like dressing in a feminine manner. I like looking pretty. I hate looking plain and boring.

[LShipley]

I've always been straight acting but as I got older I realized some of my tendencies and interests were feminine. From music, to colors, decorations, emotions, slight mannerisms or preferences but never really clothes beyond that I wanted to fit comfortably in them. I knew for a long time I wished and dreamed I was a woman but for me the real realization came when I slowly stopped lusting after female bodies and started finding myself wishing I could have their body, breasts, or figure. Now it's jealousy instead of lust!

[Blondie14]

for me I Just acted masculine

Me too.

[Blondie14]

I've always been straight acting but as I got older I realized some of my tendencies and interests were feminine. From music, to colors, decorations, emotions, slight mannerisms or preferences but never really clothes beyond that I wanted to fit comfortably in them. I knew for a long time I wished and dreamed I was a woman but for me the real realization came when I slowly stopped lusting after female bodies and started finding myself wishing I could have their body, breasts, or figure. Now it's jealousy instead of lust!

That's one thing I'm not very much into detail of any sort. I Also am not that emotional when I am it's too much.
My room in general looks like typical for a guy my age. I didn't really ever wish I was a girl until recently it's just the predicament I'm finding myself in not yet a girl but not really a guy. It's like if I had to choose I'd rather live as a girl than a guy in the state I'm in currently. I am not really sexually attracted to a girl's physique. I just have felt I could have a relationship with a girl as a girl though not really as a guy. The one time I did cross dress out in public was actually the only time I've been comfortable enough to do anything with a girl. I don't really get jealous of girl's in my age range as most girls that I know are pretty flat chested like myself. So there's no real jealousy I just hope eventually I grow breasts. And am an actual normal girl not just an inbetween thing.

[Stephanie2]

The whole thing can be really confusing. It certainly is for me. I have had female tendencies for a long time. I do things women normally do and have done them for many years. I have, within the last few years, acted on these things, to take them further. I wanted to take on a feminine form, starting with breasts. I have accomplished that. Now I want to take it further. I have been emotional, more so than a regular male, for quite a while. Even more so now with the extra estrogen I am taking. I can cry within seconds, even if there is very little to cry about. Certain things bother me more than they should. Maybe that is what they call an emotional roller coaster. In the long run, I love it. If it means that I am more meant to be female, then be it!

[Blondie14]

The whole thing can be really confusing. It certainly is for me. I have had female tendencies for a long time. I do things women normally do and have done them for many years. I have, within the last few years, acted on these things, to take them further. I wanted to take on a feminine form, starting with breasts. I have accomplished that. Now I want to take it further. I have been emotional, more so than a regular male, for quite a while. Even more so now with the extra estrogen I am taking. I can cry within seconds, even if there is very little to cry about. Certain things bother me more than they should. Maybe that is what they call an emotional roller coaster. In the long run, I love it. If it means that I am more meant to be female, then be it!

Like I said I want a fully female body I totally relate with that. I don't want my feminine characteristics to go away and I don't want to become a man so I guess that should be enough. I am highly emotional. But it's more to do with really dark depressing stuff. I guess the thing is people want to be a specific gender for different reasons doesn't make it invalid.

[Lady_Oracle]

I had this constant questioning all throughout my teenage years, a lot of it was due to fear and just trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me. Being my dad's first born in a spanish family put a lot of pressure on me. Despite that I had a lot of female characteristics growing up, way too many obvious signs as a kid.

Anyways long story short I didn't jump straight into transition. I started out by doing little things for myself like experimenting with clothing, playing with makeup, trying to find my inner female if that makes sense. I basically threw away any notion of gender roles/labels and all of that stuff that society likes to reinforce and did my best not to look at it like it was crossdressing. I did a lot of introspection like coming up with scenarios in my head as to what I would feel better as in terms of what gender people view me as(I was basically my own therapist) I've always been really good at feeling whats best for myself. A part of figuring out the difference is being able to trust how you feel without letting anyone influence you. An actual gender therapist helps with all of this stuff tremendously so I don't recommend doing what I did.

Once I found her, my female self I started to go out dressed as her and I told myself that if I still felt comfortable in public then I need to transition because the further I experimented the more I realized that I was truly female and how much better I felt mentally but at the same time living duo lives like that and no one knowing was killing me. I kept trying to pretend that I was okay with just dressing up and stuff and that I didn't need to transition. That was just me continually denying what I was really feeling and at the same time please everyone else in my life, so my depression started up again. After a few years of living that way I came out to my  my mom and she was actually the one that urged me to start hrt cause my mental state was becoming really bad by that point. 

To summarize I started the social transition basically the "real life test" before hormones so I knew taking that next step was right for me. Its a whole different story if you've only come to terms with transition and you practically start hormones soon after because what many of us struggle with primarily is the social transition. I think the best way to approach this is with a therapist or someone you can talk to and experiment slowly if you still can't seem to find a definitive answer. So yes you can still be masculine and still be trans. You just need to be honest with yourself about how you feel and take baby steps. This is a long process and it takes time to sort out your feelings cause it can get super confusing. I wish you the best Blondie14

[Blondie14]

I had this constant questioning all throughout my teenage years, a lot of it was due to fear and just trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me. Being my dad's first born in a spanish family put a lot of pressure on me. Despite that I had a lot of female characteristics growing up, way too many obvious signs as a kid.

Anyways long story short I didn't jump straight into transition. I started out by doing little things for myself like experimenting with clothing, playing with makeup, trying to find my inner female if that makes sense. I basically threw away any notion of gender roles/labels and all of that stuff that society likes to reinforce and did my best not to look at it like it was crossdressing. I did a lot of introspection like coming up with scenarios in my head as to what I would feel better as in terms of what gender people view me as(I was basically my own therapist) I've always been really good at feeling whats best for myself. A part of figuring out the difference is being able to trust how you feel without letting anyone influence you. An actual gender therapist helps with all of this stuff tremendously so I don't recommend doing what I did.

Once I found her, my female self I started to go out dressed as her and I told myself that if I still felt comfortable in public then I need to transition because the further I experimented the more I realized that I was truly female and how much better I felt mentally but at the same time living duo lives like that and no one knowing was killing me. I kept trying to pretend that I was okay with just dressing up and stuff and that I didn't need to transition. That was just me continually denying what I was really feeling and at the same time please everyone else in my life, so my depression started up again. After a few years of living that way I came out to my  my mom and she was actually the one that urged me to start hrt cause my mental state was becoming really bad by that point. 

To summarize I started the social transition basically the "real life test" before hormones so I knew taking that next step was right for me. Its a whole different story if you've only come to terms with transition and you practically start hormones soon after because what many of us struggle with primarily is the social transition. I think the best way to approach this is with a therapist or someone you can talk to and experiment slowly if you still can't seem to find a definitive answer. So yes you can still be masculine and still be trans. You just need to be honest with yourself about how you feel and take baby steps. This is a long process and it takes time to sort out your feelings cause it can get super confusing. I wish you the best Blondie14

I actually have felt comfortable with the idea of living as a girl . I've already went outside cross dressing. And if no one knew me as a guy I'd just take on a female identity. I don't really feel I'd miss out on being a guy. As I really don't feel like I'm one now anyhow.

When I crossdressed irl, I wished I could go to school this way and people could recognize me as a girl not a guy.


I guess I was just questioning the fact that I am normally quite masculine and that I don't act different from most of my friends who are guys.