Can you be transgender if you're masculine?

[Blondie14]

Anyone else?

[Gothic Dandy]

There's a similar thread in the FTM corner, I.e. "can I be a feminine ftm?"

You can be a pretty tomboy if you like. Actually, I remember that at the salon I used to go to, there were these really pretty blond hairdressers who looked like magazine cover models, but acted and spoke like men. I was surprised at the time. My sister has some friends like that too, fashionable girls who like sports and hang out with/talk like guys. Does it help to know people like that exist?

I will mosey on back to ftm land now.

[Blondie14]

There's a similar thread in the FTM corner, I.e. "can I be a feminine ftm?"

You can be a pretty tomboy if you like. Actually, I remember that at the salon I used to go to, there were these really pretty blond hairdressers who looked like magazine cover models, but acted and spoke like men. I was surprised at the time. My sister has some friends like that too, fashionable girls who like sports and hang out with/talk like guys. Does it help to know people like that exist?

I will mosey on back to ftm land now.

I think that's what I am.

I've thought about it. And I think I'm just a different type of girl but that doesn't change that I'm a girl.

[Alysinspace]

There's a similar thread in the FTM corner, I.e. "can I be a feminine ftm?"

You can be a pretty tomboy if you like. Actually, I remember that at the salon I used to go to, there were these really pretty blond hairdressers who looked like magazine cover models, but acted and spoke like men. I was surprised at the time. My sister has some friends like that too, fashionable girls who like sports and hang out with/talk like guys. Does it help to know people like that exist?

I will mosey on back to ftm land now.

100% agree with this post.
IT IS OKAY to like boy things even if you are transitioning I mean after all you lived as a boy for x amount of years!
Take me for example.
I fish, Play airsoft, Play tons of video games, Fix computers for a living, and my friends of choice are definitely still guys they're just easier to get along with imo.
But that isnt to say I dont talk about girl things with other girls.... Oh no thats there too c ;

[Peebles]

Yeah sure, I have kind of a "masculine" personality and so do other women.

For me, the dysphoria is more than enough to verify what I am doing, but even without that, this is just something I want to do, and there isn't much of a reason why I shouldn't/

[Blondie14]

100% agree with this post.
IT IS OKAY to like boy things even if you are transitioning I mean after all you lived as a boy for x amount of years!
Take me for example.
I fish, Play airsoft, Play tons of video games, Fix computers for a living, and my friends of choice are definitely still guys they're just easier to get along with imo.
But that isnt to say I dont talk about girl things with other girls.... Oh no thats there too c ;

Yeah I like hunting camping fixing cars fixing things around the house I also like build like different things like a dog house raft doll house etc random things. And I like playing different video games as well. And watching sports. But more than anything my best friend and I are pretty inseparable and have bonded like "brothers". I just find myself a lot like him that I feel like we're so alike yet I'm a girl and he's a guy. On the outside I might seem like a normal guy but I just don't feel like one I guess that's all that really matter.

[Alysinspace]

Yeah I like hunting camping fixing cars fixing things around the house I also like build like different things like a dog house raft doll house etc random things. And I like playing different video games as well. And watching sports. But more than anything my best friend and I are pretty inseparable and have bonded like "brothers". I just find myself a lot like him that I feel like we're so alike yet I'm a girl and he's a guy. On the outside I might seem like a normal guy but I just don't feel like one I guess that's all that really matter.

There really isn't a such thing as "normal"
but yeah I have a friend like that too except I kinda like him instead of bonded like brothers
I am far more emotional and always was though instead of the typical guy.
And what really triggered me was in my early childhood where I would purposely tell people I was a girl.

[ErinReign]

I just took the Cogiati test...

I wouldn't put too much weight on Cogiati score. I looked at the test shortly after your post and it seems to mostly be filled with sexist stereotypes. There are also many factors which influence one's score that have no bearing on gender identity. It neglects variables like physical ability(deafness, physical handicaps, etc.), level of intellect(math/poetry etc.), and life experiences(being able to find south, comfortability with physical contact, etc). Sorry for ranting but it just struck me as hurtful pseudo-science.

[Jennygirl]

The truth is,
• You can be whatever you want to be
• You can act however you want to act
• You can like whatever you want to like
• You can talk however you want to talk
• et al

It is all about being happy, and living life with frequent smiles. Don't sweat the rest, it's no fun trying to force fit yourself into a mold. In fact, it can be debilitating!

Speaking based on my own experience,

I think it's common for us as trans women to reject all masculinity early on, thinking that we need to "clean house" and rid ourselves of anything that may make us appear anything but "feminine" or "not trans enough" (oof that's a rough one). That is understandable on an individual sense: sometimes it can make it easier for other people who are trying to learn new pronouns etc, and it can be affirming to oneself to shed things that bring a sense of dysphoria. Okay, but what's next?

As time goes on, we realize that we went from one mold to another, and that can just be a whole lot of no fun.

I got to a point in transition where all of my interests came right back to me, a lot of my friends even said something to me about it. I've been wrenching on my TRUCK, building soundsystems, programming LEDs, and welding crap like crazy. But, I still like to be seen as nothing but totally female. Inside however, gender means nothing to me. I am me, this is what I'm good at, and I'm going to keep doing it because it is what makes me happy. I know I am female regardless of the way I act or what I am into.

As people (trans or not) the point is to listen to yourself. Get to know yourself, and sense when your mind starts to shift towards wanting a change (a neverending process). There's no sense in trying to force yourself to do something, and the faster we can adapt to our elemental intention (at that moment in time) the happier we will be in the long run. That is an acquired skill that is ever changing, and yields the highest reward... (a good life that you are happy to be living)

[Eva]

Yes its quite common for one to grow up presenting to the world as something that eventually just falls apart and the truth prevails...

Jenny had some good advice above and right now Im having a very hard time trying to figure out what to do with half a lifetime worth of tools, cars, guns, and other cool guy stuff... My first thought is it ALL must go... To be truly at peace Id have to get all of that out of my life... Its very appealing and it may happen eventually...

The fact is I have some impressive skills and abilities that most would say are "masculine"... I can weld, forge steel on ANY level, and safely run heavy equipment, Im a master mechanic, I can do home maintenance and improvement... Ive been called a mechanical genius, very skilled with my thankfully very feminine hands I USED to hate... I spent a half a lifetime hating my body and making the best of it...

Im a year in transition now and Im told Im going to be a very beautiful woman soon by people I trust... I live full time as a female and I've done just fine from the start... Its been so easy its like it must be meant to be

 

[Blondie14]

There really isn't a such thing as "normal"
but yeah I have a friend like that too except I kinda like him instead of bonded like brothers
I am far more emotional and always was though instead of the typical guy.
And what really triggered me was in my early childhood where I would purposely tell people I was a girl.

I don't really like any of my friends. But my friends many of them like me which I realize is because partly female. I have characteristics that they like In girls. Which has been an issue I've dealt with because I don't like guys. I'm a lesbian if anything. Not really into guys. But my best friend isn't like that. Our friendship has lasted 12 years we are practically brothers. When I was a kid I always thought I was a boy and was alright with that I just had a very docile quiet personality I wasn't the kid that was full of energy and play. but I always thought I was a boy. I'm only emotional now because of past demons. But otherwise I'm really numb. It's almost like icy.

[Blondie14]

I wouldn't put too much weight on Cogiati score. I looked at the test shortly after your post and it seems to mostly be filled with sexist stereotypes. There are also many factors which influence one's score that have no bearing on gender identity. It neglects variables like physical ability(deafness, physical handicaps, etc.), level of intellect(math/poetry etc.), and life experiences(being able to find south, comfortability with physical contact, etc). Sorry for ranting but it just struck me as hurtful pseudo-science.

I also took the sage test it said I was androgynous and that I socialize in a feminine manner but think like a man but overall androgynous. Idk what I feel tbh though sometimes.

[Dahlia]

Of course you can! EVERYTHING and ANYTHING hypermasculine is possible in the MTF community.
Hyper masculine and  claimiing to be 100% female AND the biological father to several children, shooting big guns, racing cars and motorcycles,  being a mucho macho hypermasculine 'army girl', etcetcetc.

"Man enough to be a woman", so to speak  which is completely normal and accepted in the MTF community.

But  a totally different matter in daily real life...

[ReDucks]

I think Jenny hit it on the head - find yourself, be yourself.  I think I've been pretty masculine when it comes to my presentation, and have all the typical male hobbies like hunting / fishing / sports.  As I transitioned and lived life I learned that society accepts you as much for who you believe you are as for how you look and act.  The only exception I've seen is that women won't feel comfortable around me unless I feel comfortable in my womanhood.  That meant a lot of tweaks in how I communicated, learning to listen without interrupting, speaking in a way that didn't have so much 'male certainty', being vulnerable and open.  These tweaks have been much harder for me than the physical transition, and I am ever evolving into the woman of my dreams, but from the inside.  I'm finding that when I am true to myself inside, my outside naturally follows and I become more and more female if not feminine.

[Jennygirl]

ReDucks- I really like what you mention here. Those tweaks are indeed so essential, and I think what make for a fully successful transition. It is kinda different for everyone, but dang I think you pretty much nailed it.

As I was reading it I got chills because it aligns very closely to what I went through earlier on, but almost accidentally. For me it was just experience based, and took time living as a female to really understand it (it also took not really trying to understand it- instead just experiencing).

Anyway just wanted to say thanks. That was really cool

[Blondie14]

The truth is,
• You can be whatever you want to be
• You can act however you want to act
• You can like whatever you want to like
• You can talk however you want to talk
• et al

It is all about being happy, and living life with frequent smiles. Don't sweat the rest, it's no fun trying to force fit yourself into a mold. In fact, it can be debilitating!

Speaking based on my own experience,

I think it's common for us as trans women to reject all masculinity early on, thinking that we need to "clean house" and rid ourselves of anything that may make us appear anything but "feminine" or "not trans enough" (oof that's a rough one). That is understandable on an individual sense: sometimes it can make it easier for other people who are trying to learn new pronouns etc, and it can be affirming to oneself to shed things that bring a sense of dysphoria. Okay, but what's next?

As time goes on, we realize that we went from one mold to another, and that can just be a whole lot of no fun.

I got to a point in transition where all of my interests came right back to me, a lot of my friends even said something to me about it. I've been wrenching on my TRUCK, building soundsystems, programming LEDs, and welding crap like crazy. But, I still like to be seen as nothing but totally female. Inside however, gender means nothing to me. I am me, this is what I'm good at, and I'm going to keep doing it because it is what makes me happy. I know I am female regardless of the way I act or what I am into.

As people (trans or not) the point is to listen to yourself. Get to know yourself, and sense when your mind starts to shift towards wanting a change (a neverending process). There's no sense in trying to force yourself to do something, and the faster we can adapt to our elemental intention (at that moment in time) the happier we will be in the long run. That is an acquired skill that is ever changing, and yields the highest reward... (a good life that you are happy to be living)

Yeah I guess all throughout everything I've been figuring out how others may see things and always needing to explain why I want to live as a girl. Partially how I see it is that many girls are lesbians and pretty masculine so why can't i? IN part I developed this way for a reason. And I can't help that I don't want to change even if I'm not the "typical girl" I am what I am. I guess I just am trying to find an explanation because of I were open about idk if people would really take me seriously. But thank you so much for your post it helped me realize I didn't need to defend why I am a girl.

[BunnyBee]

I think it's common for us as trans women to reject all masculinity early on, thinking that we need to "clean house" and rid ourselves of anything that may make us appear anything but "feminine" or "not trans enough" (oof that's a rough one).

I did this, mostly just prior to transitoning.  Not because I was trying to play a role or anything, but because there were things that came with strong masculine expectations and because of the state I was in with dysphoria, they just crushed me.  As time has gone on some of these interests did come back, not all of them, actually I would say really only a few.  But those things that did come back I completely embrace because I feel any interest that survived this gauntlet I have passed through must be legitimate.  I am all about finding truth and authenticity in myself these days.  I didn't go through all this to run from one specious state to another.

If you think you have to make a feminine caricature out of yourself to be a real woman, that is simply untrue.  Being a caricature is actually the opposite of being a real anything.  Cis females run the gamut, and so should we--cause all of us, all human beings, should just be true to ourselves above all else.

[ReDucks]

ReDucks- I really like what you mention here. Those tweaks are indeed so essential, and I think what make for a fully successful transition. It is kinda different for everyone, but dang I think you pretty much nailed it.

As I was reading it I got chills because it aligns very closely to what I went through earlier on, but almost accidentally. For me it was just experience based, and took time living as a female to really understand it (it also took not really trying to understand it- instead just experiencing).

Anyway just wanted to say thanks. That was really cool

Thank you so much!