Wynternight,
I surely hope this helps. There are times when dark has to get darker before light can come.
There are two parts to this answer: One is physical and the other may be emotional (where the above line comes in), at times they are connected.
In response to the emotional, you may want to very carefully read KayXo's post about when surgeries and hormones CAN'T help. I say this because sometimes the one thing we need most is one thing we 'continue' to never see, and with every ounce of our being, the one we sometimes 'refuse' to see. Many here have suffered in many different ways, and a fair number of times it came about when we were very young. This is a time when we are looking for that stability for our welfare to come from an outside source (as it should be) because we have not gained enoungh personal power to accomplish this for ourselves. There are a myriad of hurts, disappointments, and many can and do stem from a physical disconnect through no fault of our own. Add to this awful mix a powerful urge to just want to fit in and we have a recipe for many types of disaster on the personality front. All too often these get buried under many many layers of 'fixes' of our own making (again, as it should be). As years go by the walls of our little world get plastered with innumerable pics that keep our mental and psychological well being 'safe'. These can be very hard to chip away, very hard indeed, and with each one, an old pain is re-lived.
In my own case, this is the reason I kept myself on the precipice of death for amost three and a half decades through drug use that bordered on insanity. With all that said, I guess maybe the best way to put this is, at this juncture in our lives, no matter the age, we need to read certain posts as we NEED to, rather than how we WANT to read them. For me personally, I am forever picking up gems that people have thrown onto my path.
In regards to the physical, well even though I had this above task to attend to, I also had to experiment with injection cycle periods. I ultimately settled into a seven day cycle. I posted the very same thing as you just did not all that long ago. My experience took me to the edge of quitting the forum, quitting all contact with people....and more. At 63, this kind of thing was NOT welcome, but the valley of each trough brought me just a little closer to healing because it allowed that 'viewpoint' for me to see. Yesterday, I all out cried......for the first time. If you, or anyone needs to talk, PM me, and I will be here. Dani
