Jason, I know where you're coming from because lots of times I don't really know what or where I am. My strategy is simply not to worry about it. I live as I please--which is very feminine, almost girly-girl. How feminine am I really? I don't know. What is "feminine" after all?
I'm just being me and it makes me happy. As time goes on maybe I'll become clearer in my mind about what I really am. But I don't see it as a big problem.
I'd say from your post that you're very young. My advice would be not to worry about it too much. Just do what makes you happy, and bit by bit you'll get to know yourself. You've got lots of years to do that.
If this is really weighing on you, there's always the option of counselling. But another option would simply be to give yourself time to discover yourself bit by bit.
I have a (cisgender) contact who's a very well-known author in his country. In one of his books he wrote something--I can't give you the exact quote--but it was to the effect that people are always looking to escape themselves. My thought was, maybe that's the way it is for cispeople, but with us transpeople, we're trying to find ourselves. Self-discovery can be a very interesting and fun process. At least it has been for me. Maybe if you change the way you look at it, it could be for you, too.
Good luck to you. (And be glad that you're young with plenty of years left, not old and decrepit like me.)
