Don't want to change my name. Potential stumbling block or not important?

[aneydo13]

Hey,

So I'm soon to start down the path of speaking to my GP and a referral to a GIC.. all sorts of things I'm having to consider such as my name etc.  Or at least, I'm not considering it - I don't want to change my name.  I'm wondering how that may be perceived by the powers that be if I choose to keep my name?  The long form of my name is associated to male, but the shortened version I've always spelt in a feminine way with my friends, even when not trying to pass as female. 

I just want to be more comfortable in a body that is of my preferred gender - not change my identity.  It's the name I associate with, despite not associating as male, it's the name I grew up with that my parents chose.. it's me.  So I'm more than happy to continue to use my male name on official documents, and just presenting myself with my shortened name to everyone instead of just friends. 

So yep.. curious as to how NHS peeps may handle that.. anyone any of experience of wanting to keep your male sounding name officially?

Perhaps my idea of this change when I'm further down the path, I don't know.. right now my name seems like the least important of things going through my head!

[Leila]

Not changing your name and trying to be placed onto the NHS pathway will lessen your case to be seen by someone at a GIC. Unfortunately GD resources are limited at the NHS and they have to prioritise towards individuals in their view that are making the most progress and most likely to benefit from public funds.

You could change your name by deed poll to your shortened female name and carry on as before, but note that it isn't just about changing your name. You need to prove that other aspects of your identity have also changed ie bank details, driving licence etc. for them to take you seriously.

If you don't want to change your name, then you can of course go private. There isn't any set rules or timeframe in the private sector with regards to having to change your name in order to receive treatment.

Of course the sooner you change your details the more it benefits you in the long run, should you also want to change the details on your birth certificate you will need to prove to the Gender Recognition Panel that you have been living with your new name for at least two years before they will award you a Gender Recognition Certificate to exchange for a new birth certificate.

[stephaniec]

my name is the same

[emilyking]

I decided to stay with my birth name, Rudy.  It was a tough decision, but after learning I was born intersex, and looking back at my childhood, I came to the conclusion that I did have a childhood that was more of a girl's.  Including being hormonally female, and having female secondary sexual charteristics.    I also have always had a very close relationship with my mom.  More like Mommy/daughter than Mommy/son.

[Zoetrope]

I changed my name before I saw my endocrinologist and got approved for HRT.

For him, it was a box on his list which was now already ticked, and if anything made him more certain of my conviction.


Really though, I changed it entirely for my own sake, not for the sake of getting approved. Both first and last names. Middle name ditched altogether. Took my last name from my Confirmation name (St.Benedict).

My old name carried tremendous emotional baggage, and was defaulted to me anyway (one of those compulsory first-born-son names).

It was never mine, and I had to be rid of it.

[DanielleA]

Among friends and family I still use my old male name. Sort of... my old name used to be Danny (god I hated being called that name), then when I entered foster care DoCs had it changed to Daniel. When I decided on my new female name I chose Danielle which can be shortened to Dani. It made it easy on my bio family as Danny was the name they knew and Danielle is like Daniel for the foster family.
The writen version changed but it sounds the same.

[sonson]

yeah Id rather not change my name either, but I think Im gonna have to. theres just no way to say or spell "greg" in a feminine way, and if Im trying to pass, Id rather not introduce myself to people with an obviously male name.

like I said though, I wish I didnt have to. I dont mind my name and I dont think Id feel attached to any other name. Id prefer to at least choose something similar. gwen? gretchen? gregoria? bleh

oh well, Ill cross that bridge when i get to it

[RosieD]

Leila has it pretty much on the button.  The NHS have limited funds and will only help you of you can prove that you are putting in some work yourself.  This means documents showing that you are working towards a successful social transition BEFORE you will get access to endocrinologists, HRT and all that other good stuff.  There are documents and reports that say otherwise but, in my experience and according to my local gender specialist, they are essentially fairy stories.

If you can't face doing that then you are likely to need to take the private route though you will still need to be able to prove that you are serious.

If your long-form name is undeniably male then why not change your official name to the short-formname?  A deed poll doesn't cost a penny and the date on the deed poll marks the start of RLE.

Rosie

[BunnyBee]

If you were born in Florida in the US you would have to change your name to one that unambiguously matches your target sex, along with having proof of GRS, to get them to change the sex on your birth certificate.  At least last I checked it was that way.  Ofc you're not from Florida, but I imagine there could be similar stumbling blocks for you.

[Peebles]

Perhaps my idea of this change when I'm further down the path, I don't know.. right now my name seems like the least important of things going through my head!

At first I wasn't interested in changing my name, but as time has gone on I find I am becoming less and less attached with "Alex" to the point where I don't really identify with it any more.

I read a post on ->-bleeped-<- a while back with a transwomen talking about how she calls herself mentally by a female name, and it just seemed so nice. I tried it myself with Alison, and idk, there's just something calming about thinking of myself as Alison. Its weird I know but it helps sometimes when I'm down. 

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Aneydo

Even though you currently perceive your name as one of the less important issues, you should try, if possible, to work in parallel on multiple fronts so that your story is consistent.  If you like the shortened version of your name in a female spelling, this is the one to go for, and as people have pointed out, the NHS is a bit of a strange beast, so consistency will help your case.

In any event I think these things are self correcting: once you get deeply into your transition you probably will start to get highly annoyed at being misgendered by your bank, officialdom, and any other places with which you interact via a call centre agent. 

By the way I do understand your situation to some degree.  My birth name is mostly genderless in all but a few unimportant countries. It's my name; I like it; and I elected not to change it.  But I sure moved fast to get my gender changed on my passport

Good luck
Julia