Becoming someone's "project"

[jeni]

My wife is filling that role to some degree, though I would not say I'm her "project." She's not one to wear much makeup, though, so I may wind up having to figure that out on my own. She's a pretty down-to-earth type person, not one to go to flamboyant extremes, and that matches with my goals pretty well.... so I'm really happy to have the support and guidance!

[Ms Grace]

Most budding girls experience this from their family and friends until they get the hang of things. It is a rite of passage in some ways.

Definitely agree with this.

I haven't had anyone offer to project manage me, but when I came out at work I asked the women to let me know if I was making any fashion/presentation faux pas or had tucked my dress into the back of my knickers. Fortunately I had absorbed enough about style and whatnot that by and large I only ever received compliments rather than brick bats. I've had a few tips here and there but nothing much.

[Brenda E]

Unless you've spent most of your life obsessively studying how women act and dress, you may frequently find yourself thinking  things like "um, what do I do here?", and this is where they can help effortlessly.

I have a fellow transwoman friend who tends to give be pretty forceful opinions on what, when and how I should do things.

Interesting that you both mention this, because the cis girl project manager is really rather laid back and has answers to pretty much everything I could possibly want to know, while the trans girl who has adopted me is far more rigid: "You need to do this now, then that, and then we need to do such and such, because that's how to be transgender."

I feel like a total dick/bitch for saying this, but I'd really rather learn how to be a girl from someone who has been a girl their entire life.  (Negative reputation points ahoy!)

Sorry...

[jeni]

I feel like a total dick/bitch for saying this, but I'd really rather learn how to be a girl from someone who has been a girl their entire life.  (Negative reputation points ahoy!)

I think this is pretty reasonable, though of course not as an absolute. The cis girl probably has a better innate sense for the "rules," but for issues that are trans-specific, a trans girl who's learned the ropes probably has some helpful insights.

Of course, regardless of cis or trans, there's so much person-to-person variation in style and taste that these could easly overwhelm other considerations.

[rosinstraya]

We are only ourselves, not anybody else's to mould.

But - a bit of outside advice is never a bad thing.