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Becoming someone's "project"

Started by Brenda E, December 30, 2014, 09:00:23 AM

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jeni

My wife is filling that role to some degree, though I would not say I'm her "project." She's not one to wear much makeup, though, so I may wind up having to figure that out on my own. She's a pretty down-to-earth type person, not one to go to flamboyant extremes, and that matches with my goals pretty well.... so I'm really happy to have the support and guidance!
-=< Jennifer >=-

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Ms Grace

Quote from: Tori on December 30, 2014, 12:35:40 PM
Most budding girls experience this from their family and friends until they get the hang of things. It is a rite of passage in some ways.

Definitely agree with this.

I haven't had anyone offer to project manage me, but when I came out at work I asked the women to let me know if I was making any fashion/presentation faux pas or had tucked my dress into the back of my knickers. Fortunately I had absorbed enough about style and whatnot that by and large I only ever received compliments rather than brick bats. I've had a few tips here and there but nothing much.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Brenda E

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on December 30, 2014, 01:37:37 PMUnless you've spent most of your life obsessively studying how women act and dress, you may frequently find yourself thinking  things like "um, what do I do here?", and this is where they can help effortlessly.

Quote from: zog on December 30, 2014, 05:04:47 PMI have a fellow transwoman friend who tends to give be pretty forceful opinions on what, when and how I should do things.

Interesting that you both mention this, because the cis girl project manager is really rather laid back and has answers to pretty much everything I could possibly want to know, while the trans girl who has adopted me is far more rigid: "You need to do this now, then that, and then we need to do such and such, because that's how to be transgender."

I feel like a total dick/bitch for saying this, but I'd really rather learn how to be a girl from someone who has been a girl their entire life.  (Negative reputation points ahoy!)

Sorry...
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jeni

Quote from: Brenda E on December 30, 2014, 06:31:35 PM
I feel like a total dick/bitch for saying this, but I'd really rather learn how to be a girl from someone who has been a girl their entire life.  (Negative reputation points ahoy!)
I think this is pretty reasonable, though of course not as an absolute. The cis girl probably has a better innate sense for the "rules," but for issues that are trans-specific, a trans girl who's learned the ropes probably has some helpful insights.

Of course, regardless of cis or trans, there's so much person-to-person variation in style and taste that these could easly overwhelm other considerations.
-=< Jennifer >=-

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rosinstraya

We are only ourselves, not anybody else's to mould.

But - a bit of outside advice is never a bad thing.
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