transitioning in a bad neighborhood

[Christy]

It's been a while but I'm back. My transition is coming a long okay and I've been out as female a number of times now. The better paying job has allowed me to buy more girl clothes which up until now I had very few of. The problem is the place I live. It's a bad area and when my lease was up I wanted to move but this was before I got the new job. I could not afford to move at the time. Knowing that the area was getting worse the complex decided to pull a fast one on those of us who pay on time. The new leases were not for twelve months but for fifteen.

Let me tell you about the area. I lived in this very complex when I was a teenager. Back then it was nice, that was twenty years ago. It's sad seeing what happened to it but as it stands a man was shot in this complex by his girlfriend. Rumor has it, it was drug related. The place "comes alive" at night after the office people leave for the day and seeing people smoking weed in the parking lot is not uncommon. Seeing people sitting in their cars late at night is a regular event and if you look at them they will often yell at you and tell you to look elsewhere. The people below me were evicted on suspicion of drug activity and speaking of evictions... The only time you will ever see a  cop in this place is when he's got the monthly eviction papers for all the people who have not paid their rent. Seeing eviction papers attached to doors is quite common.

I have a decent job now and I could afford to move away very soon BUT the complex won't let me. If I break my lease it's "Pay us 1,000 plus dollars or we put it against your credit." It's practically extortion. Needless to say I feel very unsafe in this neighborhood even when out as male, let alone female. I'm afraid that people knowing may lead to either my car being vandalized or me being attacked. It's gotten to the point that I change at my roommates mothers house when going out as female and change back again before coming home. My lease is not up unit November and I'm not sure what to do. Any advice for transitioning in bad areas?

[Jill F]

Sublet?

[Leslie36369]

I grew up in a fairly bad area of town ( or it became that way as I got older ) by the time I was like 18-19 I was kinda used to living in an area like this. I ended up moving to an even worse part of town. For like of a better term "the ghetto". I know that that takes time and this isn't the case with you, but if there isn't a way out of the lease or anyway you can afford it there are things you can do.

Basically, you become invisible. I wasn't transitioning and wasn't even near ready to admit it to myself or anyone else, but I would have friends and girlfriends over. Girls were scared to death of the complex I lived in and some wouldn't come. The ones that would but were apprehensive I would tell them to park as close as possible to my building breezeway and call me. If they had to come over and I could not be right there. I would tell them to put on visible headphones like the Beats and kinda walk with there head down only looking directly where they were going. Once the guys around got used to seeing them it wasn't as big of an issue. In the winter hoodies with the hood up help. Sunglasses during the day. Acting like you are talking or texting on your phone.

I know all this sounds like bad advice to some people because you kinda have to hide your self. I don't know if where you are is as bad as where I moved, but if it is these places can be dangerous. You have to keep in mind that most of there aggressiveness is out of fear. They are paranoid because of things they do that are most likely illegal. If they think you are paying any sort of attention they panic and try to stomp that panic out with instilling fear. If you blend become invisible or in any other way make them see you as a non-threat you will feel and ultimately be safer.

On the other hand if you dig long enough on the internet reach out to facebook friends things like that you will either find a loop hole or find someone that can find one in your lease. I would be willing to guess that the environment poses a threat to your safety making living condition unbearable and inhumane would be a pretty good one.

Anyway, I hope that helps some and good luck

[missymay]

Some things are non-negotiable, and my personal safety is at the top of the list. That being said, if I were in your situation, I would move as soon as possible, and take the credit hit if necessary.