I'm not sure in fact I'm worried

[ImagineKate]

Doubt is normal. It is human. You are human.

You say 62 might be too old. But on the flip side I say you're running short on time, why not live your dreams to the fullest?

Personally I do want SRS, but it's not really a priority for me. Constant dilation scares the heck out of me. That and the fact that I really don't want a man right now (and I'm married to boot, but let's see how long that lasts.) But then again sometime in the past I figured I would just remain a somewhat soulless man. Look how well that turned out.

I'll say this, for me it's not about sex. It's more about being complete. Being whole. It's also about not going back. But that's not really a priority right now for me. I want to reach across the bridge first before I torch it.

Only you can make the decision, but as they say, only one life to live. Whatever you choose, be sure but be happy too.

[Mariah]

One thing you could do is make a list of reasons why you should follow through with your SRS and list of reasons why you should back away from it or take one of the lesser options. Then throw the lists out and follow your heart. As others have said doubting something is completely normal. This a major milestone point in your life. At the end of the day it comes down to which path is right for you and which one isn't or which path is more line with your wants and needs. Whatever you do at the end of the day follow your heart. Hugs
Mariah

[Ms Grace]

hugs. Not sure I can say anything the others haven't already. It might be a birth defect, one you've had to live with your entire life, so it's natural to maybe feel afraid about losing it no matter how you feel about it.

[EmmaD]

Not sure I can add anything either.  I am 10 years younger and thinking the same thing from time to time.  Can I be bothered?  Would I use it? If not, is it worth the effort, physical disruption, recovery time and maintenance?  Sometimes I dunno.

But then I think, what if it all works properly afterwards?  Wouldn't that be good?  At present, I have nothing more than a tube to pee out of and absolutely zero activity down there.  It didn't even reactivate after a 3-week enforced abstinence from E in late November. So the full change remains on my radar.

Next question I ask myself is whether or not I actually want or need a vagina or could I just get the (hopefully beautifully sensate) externals only.  I can't answer that but I have a feeling I need the whole package!  A year ago, I would not have been this positive.  Well, sort of positive.

I am sure you will work it out and arrive at the place you need to be.  You have so far!

Emma

[adrian]

Hugs, Cindy! In my opinion there's no "too old" and you have the right of doing this for yourself -- regardless of future "use scenarios" . It's about you and your right to feel a bit more at home in your body.

[big kim]

62s not to old.It's natural to be worried about a major operation.Although a major operation it's been done many times for over 60 years good luck and PM me if you want to

[ImagineKate]

One thing I am hoping is that when I'm ready that the procedures are advanced enough that constant dilation could be lessened. Maybe something along the line of a lab grown vagina can be implanted. I'm also on the fence about NA surgeons or Thai ones. I would love to go to suporn or Chet but I'm not so sure I'm up to the pain and recovery. Brassard would be nice but I'm diabetic and I'm not sure he would take me. Dr Bowers is nice and I may go with her. But the landscape (and my health) may change between now and then.

[Julia-Madrid]

OK I'm Forum Admin; but I'm Cindy.
I'm a rather frightened girl.
Laying my soul open

Cindy, I salute you.  Not just a 21-gun salute, but one in 4K 3D technicolor.   

Just because you are here, setting an absolutely bloody amazing example, and being a public beacon of strength to so many, why can't you express your concerns over one of the biggest decisions of your life!?  I feel honoured that you consider our forum to be a safe place to discuss issues that are so emotionally intimate.

Others here have put it more than eloquently, so all I will do is suggest that perhaps you could drop in on your psy to see if you can iterate to finding the nub of what's bothering you?

With much love
Julia