Felt a bit dispirited today

[Kiera85]

So I had the house to myself today and was thinking, hey my hair is getting quite long, my body is all shaved, why don't I get into girl's clothes and take a few selfies. Kinda wish I hadn't, in all of them I looked like someone had shaved a caveman and stuck him in a skirt. I know that's silly, I'm not on hormones, I haven't had any FFS, heck I wasn't even wearing makeup. Still, I had kinda pictured better results in my head 🙁

[mrs izzy]

It takes time and hormones does more then you would think.

Relax and do things day at a time.

Also cis females can look cavemanish also in a dress.

[Foxglove]

TGism is like any other human affair: you have your good days and your bad days.  Don't let the bad times get you down.  The good times are eagerly awaiting you.

[Ms Grace]

Hormones help. But choosing the right clothes for your frame makes all the difference in the world. On top of all the other disadvantages we face there's the fact we didn't get the first 15 or so years of our life to figure out what works for us and what doesn't, plus a whole heap of (usually uninvited) feedback from female relatives and peers about how we look to help us get it right. The right wardrobe will do wonders for you!

[Kiera85]

Thanks folks, I should really stop coming to this forum to whine 😉

[Kiera85]

Hormones help. But choosing the right clothes for your frame makes all the difference in the world. On top of all the other disadvantages we face there's the fact we didn't get the first 15 or so years of our life to figure out what works for us and what doesn't, plus a whole heap of (usually uninvited) feedback from female relatives and peers about how we look to help us get it right. The right wardrobe will do wonders for you!

That's true. Maybe when I come out my female friends will steer me right fashion wise!

[Jade_404]

Hormones help. But choosing the right clothes for your frame makes all the difference in the world. On top of all the other disadvantages we face there's the fact we didn't get the first 15 or so years of our life to figure out what works for us and what doesn't, plus a whole heap of (usually uninvited) feedback from female relatives and peers about how we look to help us get it right. The right wardrobe will do wonders for you!

I sent a pic to my cis female friend today, to see what she thought of how I looked. She TOTALY thought it was a picture of my ex girlfriend... I was not sure how to take that, on one hand I must look feminine on the other hand, I NEED better style choices because I DO NOT want to look like my ex. We are still trying to figure out why/what part looks like my ex. Maybe my hair?? I told her I think it was cuz my ex had some manly features and that is what she is seeing in the pic, my terrible manly features. She assured me that is not the case. But I agree with Ms Grace... The right wardrobe will do wonders for you!

Love,
Jade
😘

[Foxglove]

Thanks folks, I should really stop coming to this forum to whine

You're not human if you don't do a bit of whining from time to time.  It's one thing I'm always whining about: this notion that there's something wrong with whining.

[JoanneB]

I have some really great horror pictures from the old days. And that is on top of not being photogenic to begin with

Figuring out "A look" that works for you takes time and lots of experimentation. We were not given the opportunity to have an entire lifetime of working on our look. I sort of had one but is is still growing, expanding and changing some as I do. Makeup is even more of a challenge I think. Hours and hours of practice, practice, practice.

But no matter how good you actually do look, low self esteem, shame, and guilt will win out. This is where 90% of passing is attitude comes into play. I was absolutely amazed how much better looking I got after my first few TG support group meetings.

[Kiera85]

Thanks folks, you've all really perked me up 🙂

[ElizMarie]

Don't feel bad about coming here to whine - that's what we're here for! 

And like Ms. Grace said, we don't have the advantage of being raised to be a woman (from the beginning).  It takes time to figure out everything.

And we all have our days.  I went to the therapist this morning in girl mode and only recently started doing makeup.  I could not get my eyebrows to arch correctly.  I ended up doing them 4 times before I got them halfway right.  I laughed (along with getting aggravated), as I appreciated how a 13 year old girl feels in the same situation.  After all, this is a second puberty. 

Marie