Kids and their stares...

[TamarasWay]

I have kidphobia,even before transition kids spooked me and I avoided them at all times.I keep out of kids way as much as possible

That is probably because young kids are genuinely "in your face" honest.  They have yet to be beaten down an "moderated" by "political correctness".  Ah...the innocence of youth.

[genderirrelevant]

Just a couple weeks after I decided to get top surgery I had a 5 y.o. boy ask if I was a man or woman. I'd taught his class several times already and, other than binding and some good arm muscles, I don't look male at all. I have long hair but no makeup. I smiled and told him it didn't matter. He asked again a few minutes later. Same answer. No questions over the next couple of weeks.

Is it wrong that I was a little amused? 

[LizMarie]

Old story but I can relay it again.

My friends have a son who just turned 5. He's seen me as I transitioned from age 3 onward. One time his mom mentioned to him that "Liz" was coming over for dinner.

Mother: Liz is coming over for dinner. Do you remember Liz?

Boy: I remember Liz! Sometimes Liz is David but sometimes Liz is Liz!

Mother, now curious: Does it bother you that sometimes Liz is David?

At that point the boy stares at his mother as if she asked something totally ridiculous. She loved it. And when she told me, I loved it. And their son loves to see me come around because I shower him (and the new baby sister) with my attention when allowed. So their son has grown up in an environment where someone being trans is a great big "so what?" sort of moment.

[JoanneB]

If kids are the litmus test, then teen girls are the Acid Test   

[Jill F]

The weird thing for me is that kids used to look at me and scream/cry.  Apparently I was "scary".  Now little kids smile and wave at me.  I guess I'm not so scary anymore.

[Missadventure]

Old story but I can relay it again.

My friends have a son who just turned 5. He's seen me as I transitioned from age 3 onward. One time his mom mentioned to him that "Liz" was coming over for dinner.

Mother: Liz is coming over for dinner. Do you remember Liz?

Boy: I remember Liz! Sometimes Liz is David but sometimes Liz is Liz!

Mother, now curious: Does it bother you that sometimes Liz is David?

At that point the boy stares at his mother as if she asked something totally ridiculous. She loved it. And when she told me, I loved it. And their son loves to see me come around because I shower him (and the new baby sister) with my attention when allowed. So their son has grown up in an environment where someone being trans is a great big "so what?" sort of moment.

A friend of mine's 4 year old daughter did similar things regarding me. At one point she walked up to me and said "You can't be Jennifer because Jennifer is a boy's name and you're a girl." I had no idea how to respond that that.

If kids are the litmus test, then teen girls are the Acid Test   

You aren't fooling. I can't count the number of times some teen girl has given me dirty looks, and one time I overheard some teen girl telling her mom "That lady looks like a dude."

[adrian]

I was going to suggest poke your tongue out at them, but then I read this is at work, so probably a no-no :-P. It's a great ice breaker with smaller kids though

[alexbb]

"I was going to suggest poke your tongue out at them"

Bingo!!

[adrian]

"I was going to suggest poke your tongue out at them"

Bingo!!

[emoji16]

[Damara]

So glad I'm not the only one with this issue.. But truly, it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks about us. Making this a reality inside, is difficult though. 

[spacerace]

About a year ago I was out somewhere and some kid was obviously starring at me, and I heard his dad say, "Don't stare." in such a way that it was obvious I was off in someway in gender appearance, but it was better to just not acknowledge it out of politeness.

I was so crushed. Now I notice weird looks more than I did before. If we are out somewhere and there are kids near us at a restaurant or something, I will make sure not to face them when sitting down for fear of a comment directed towards me.

I don't think I stand out that much, so that event brought home the reality that I may look stranger than I think I do.

[Lostkitten]

It started out with me disliking kids a lot, and their honesty. But nowadays it almost feels like a compliment. Kids are curious about whatever is new and clearly you bring up quite some curiosity for them. No matter how you look at it, you clearly don't look like a cis guy anymore.

Now if a kid sees you as a guy dressing up and says that out loud, it hurts. But then you can start thinking of how that changes into a feminine person.

I'd lie if I say I have not gotten hurt by it a few time when you pass by a kid and hear something as 'that guy has long hair!' but eh.. it also is a slap in the face that I have to stop letting my insecurities play a bigger role and stop being afraid of being me =/.

I am rambling ._.

[lilredneckgirl]

Lol.....
RELAX  girls. 

Get  out  of  the  self  doubt  mindset  and  take  a  lil  trip.  go  to  the  mall,  the  market,  the  park. 
  your  mission,  observe  the  women. 

  you  will  find,  all  shapes  and  sizes,  some very  feminine,  others  that  could  tuck  in  the  boobs  and  pass  for  guys. 

i  recall  early  in  my  transition,  in  that  real  life  trial  stage,  where  i  obsessed  about  'passing'.
  that topic  came  up  in  one  of  my  sessions  at  the shrinks  office.
i  did  the  lil  road  trip  as  discribed  above,  and  reported  back.
  yep  there  were  girls  taller  then  my  5'  11'',    girls  with  deep  voices,  girls  with  big  hands,  girls  with  well  defined  muscles,  and  girls  with  masculine  features. 

and  the  appithany,  they  too  got  the  second  look . 

its  human  nature  to  look,  just  as  everyone  looks  when  some drop  dead  georgous  woman  walks  by. 

  relax,  enjoy,  dont  sweat  the  kids,  99%  of  my  'outings'  by  children  were  followed  by  embarrisments  or  apologies by  the  parents. 

  just  be  thankfull  for  growth  hormones  in  milk  that  made  the  average  female  grow  much  taller  then  our  counterparts  of  40  years  ago....   

[LatrellHK]

I don't mind much with obvious children stare or ask me questions. Where I live, there aren't many black people so I get asked about my color and hair by children all the time. I guess I'm bout as odd as seeing a Bengal tiger for them! Some little kid even came up and said, "Can I touch your hair?" When I worked at McDonalds. I just shrugged, walked around the register, and laughed when his mom came around and saw him petting me and screaming out, "It's like a sheep!" and poor lady looked like she was about to die of a heart attack.

Now if these said kids are beyond the age of 13, all my patience for them dies. I have no patience, let me said NO FREAKING PATIENCE for older kids. They should, at that point, have enough common sense to known black people exist out of Africa (some one child asked me if it snowed in Africa -_-. I don't know kid, I'm not from there....)

Now if kids ask if I'm a boy or girl, I say boy. If a parent says, "Don't say that!" I say, "It's okay sir/ma'am. They're just curious and young.". If a kid stares, I stare back playfully. If a parent says, "Don't stare." I shrug it off. I really don't mind with little kids. Actually like the little ones. But seriously, past 13 NO patience exists for them. Past 8, they still annoy me but it's a childish annoyance and therefor I have patience for them. But 13 year olds? I think riding my bus made me completely hate them and everything for their age group. Especially girls.

[Ptero]

My mom is a preschool teacher. And I think a least 50% time I went to her classroom, no matter my age (from let's say 3 to today so 25) a child asked me if I was a boy or a girl. It doesn't bother me in fact. (must say I'm agender so for me it's the most natural question someone could ask because it's normal they don't understand in which box to put me). When I was younger I always said "I'm a girl" because I thought it was easier. But now I prefer say things like "what do you think ?" or "Is it important ?" or "I was just asking myself the same question" or my favorite one "and you ?". (In fact I think adults should ask more often if someone is a boy or a girl. It would make things easier. You just say what you feel and there is no strange moment when the stupid sandwich seller can't decide how to call you).
I've a friend who is genderqueer and he does the same. Never put us in a bad situation.

But what I can't stand is when I go shopping, as I don't like girl clothes and I'm too small for men clothes I often go to children department (boy, of course). And there, I can't stand children stares !!

[GnomeKid]

ooooh my goodness.  Kids are always the first to go on with the "are you a boy or a girl?" question.  Back in the day it was always "i'm a girl" and they'd say "are you sure?"  Turns out they were more right then I was at the time.  Luckily I haven't had the issue since becoming hormonally male.  I'm sure you'll get there too!  Seems you're doing better than I was already!