Kids and their stares...

[Damara]

It drives me crazy when I'm at work and someone's children are just staring at me. I know kids just do this at anything/anyone really, but they are also more likely to speak up about perceived discrepancies they may find in a person. I don't seem to tip the scales of my gender to male in the eyes of most adults, but I'm so paranoid that some child is going to throw their mum or dad/other guardian into doubt. Anyone else have this concern?? 

[Ms Grace]

Kids are definitely the litmus test. I know what you mean about that fear. My very first time out in public I found myself on a train sitting opposite a kid in just that right age group to say something hideous. Luckily he never did!

[Damara]

Kids are definitely the litmus test. I know what you mean about that fear. My very first time out in public I found myself on a train sitting opposite a kid in just that right age group to say something hideous. Luckily he never did!

The worst I've had was a girl asking if I was a boy or a girl, her mum just apologized and looked embarrassed.. so it wasn't really awful, but also an annoying reminder of where I am in this process. Actually, I may have been sporting no makeup+five o'clock shadow.. probably didn't help. This was before I was presenting female. lol! But still really bothered me.

[stephaniec]

kids have a innately genetically built radar . I think they could detect a loose bolt from a supersonic aircraft fly at the edge of the stratosphere . It really is more horror filled then watching the scariest movie you ever saw when they sit there or walk by you with their eyes glued to you. It happens to me no matter how I'm dressed. Then when your sitting somewhere and they walk by you holding hands with their mother and their head and eyes are locked on to you and no matter how far they move away their face is always pointed at you. then when they get far away and their still looking and the mother bends towards then to try to figure out what their looking at and you sit there and try to guess the kids explanation why he's dead weight.

[Zoetrope]

aw look at it this way - this is our part in raising a well-adjusted and open minded new generation :~)

I live in a rough-ish area where kids are allowed to run wild. I have kids *coming up to me* to ask questions.

First time it was quite awkward. But then I realised they were genuinely curious - and these are my chances to make a good impression - which I think I did because I'm very open and not easily offended.

Nowadays a bunch of local kids know my name. When we see me they call out 'haiii Sarah!'. It's very sweet :~)

[suzifrommd]

It drives me crazy when I'm at work and someone's children are just staring at me. I know kids just do this at anything/anyone really, but they are also more likely to speak up about perceived discrepancies they may find in a person. I don't seem to tip the scales of my gender to male in the eyes of most adults, but I'm so paranoid that some child is going to throw their mum or dad/other guardian into doubt. Anyone else have this concern?? 

Could happen, right? There's no such thing as perfect passability. Fortunately getting clocked is survivable. So she tells her mum and her mum does what? Shoots you a dirty look? You feel embarrassed for a brief second before your realize that having transitioned is nothing to be ashamed of - in fact something to be proud of. You hold your head high and show them the proud face of transgender. Then you move on and the brief incident is over in seconds.

No big deal, right?

[Zoetrope]

You feel embarrassed for a brief second before your realize that having transitioned is nothing to be ashamed of - in fact something to be proud of. You hold your head high and show them the proud face of transgender.

I just could not agree more.

We *should* be damned proud of ourselves. We are doing this to become better people. It takes courage, resilience and patience. No small feat. *well done all of us* <3

[alexbb]

aw look at it this way - this is our part in raising a well-adjusted and open minded new generation :~)

I live in a rough-ish area where kids are allowed to run wild. I have kids *coming up to me* to ask questions.

First time it was quite awkward. But then I realised they were genuinely curious - and these are my chances to make a good impression - which I think I did because I'm very open and not easily offended.

Nowadays a bunch of local kids know my name. When we see me they call out 'haiii Sarah!'. It's very sweet :~)

this is the best

[Zoetrope]

aw Alex, no you are <3

[Cindy]

I'm sure I've said this before.

My gorgeous 41/2 yr old daughter of a very close friend has been 'confused' I'm Cindy to her and she draws pics of me as a woman, but she also knew me as a 'man'. Her Dad asked her 'is Cindy a man or a woman?' 'She's a woman, but she use to be a man'. She then embarrassed the crap out of her Mum in a post office when she walked up to a stranger and asked 'are you a manwoman like Cindy?'

It is a innocence that I accept as being just that, innocent.

[big kim]

I have kidphobia,even before transition kids spooked me and I avoided them at all times.I keep out of kids way as much as possible

[Missadventure]

but I'm so paranoid that some child is going to throw their mum or dad/other guardian into doubt. Anyone else have this concern?? 

I find it's less of a concern for me as time goes on... I don't pass very much anyway, in my own eyes (tho I seem to be gendered female everywhere, for the most part), so, if some kid outs me, so be it.

But, when I first started my transition I went shopping with a good friend and her kids... It was like my second or third time going out of the house dressed as a woman, so I was already incredibly nervous. And my friends 8 year old daughter walked up to the cashier and said "My friend Jennifer is really a boy."

I turned and immediately walked out of the store. I haven't returned since.

[Miharu Barbie]

It's kind of cute... with my hourglass figure and waist-length pink, green and brown hair, little girls stare mesmerized at me everywhere I go.  The general consensus among my friends is that little girls see me and think, "She looks like a Barbie." 

I smile and wave... they stare in wonder and usually wave back.   

[jessical]

I have a soft spot for kids.  They really are just curious.  If I do get any stares I just smile, and if appropriate, say hello.  That seems to diffuse any staring quickly.  No one has asked if I am a man or a women, but if they did I would say I am a women and give no further explanation.  It is interesting though.  I have fairly recently come out to my neighbors, and one of the Moms told me one of her children always thought I was a women, even before I came out to them.   Apparently the parents tried to tell the child I was not several times, but he remained unconvinced.

[Miharu Barbie]

...Apparently the parents tried to tell the child I was not several times, but he remained unconvinced.

Yup, I can totally see why he couldn't be convinced... you're cute as can be.   

[Sammy]

I am quite OK with kids, they dont usually stare at me or whisper something to their parents - the funniest thing which has happened was once in the hospital when some little girl looked at me and the loudly asked her mother: "Moooom! Why is he wearing a ponytail?!?"
I could not restrain myself and started giggling quite loudly in reply (was thinking - here we go! Just got gender-policed by a little girl!) - her mom looked at me with apologising look and I just smiled back at them.

[Beth Andrea]

My granddaughter (3 years old) told the nurse in the hosp when her sister was born, "This is Beth! She's my mom's dad!"



Gotta laugh with the honesty.

[jessical]

Yup, I can totally see why he couldn't be convinced... you're cute as can be.   

Awww, Thanks!  That made my day

[AbeLane]

I get the stares from kids too sometimes. But I have to say (and I may be the odd man out here) that I really don't mind it as much when it comes from a kid. Even when they get around to actually asking if I'm a boy or a girl, it still doesn't upset me. I guess cuz I figure that kids under a certain age don't really hold judgments, they're just curious. At least that's been my experience.

[Sydney_NYC]

The first time I had a child stare at me, I had only been full time a little less than a month. I'm standing in line at a Panera bread and a 6 year old girl kept staring and smiling at me while twisting her body around and back of her mom. My fear was that I was about to be outed by a 6 year old. I smiled back at her and then she says: "Wow, your a tall lady!!!!" I responded with a "Yes I am." with a big smile. That made my day. To be fair I am 6'7" so I do get stares, but it's for being seen as a tall woman. I have a cis woman friend who is 6'4" and it happens to her all the time.