This one is kind of emotional so here goes nothing....
As some people on this thread may know, I lost my aunt a little over a month ago. It was really hard for me, because we are close in age than she is to my mother, and we grew up as siblings under my grandmother's care (my mom worked and I was homeschooled, not absentee mother, my mom is awesome)....
She was pregnant and all she wanted to be in life was a mother...She passed away suddenly, and had recently moved all the way across the country.
Friday marked an exact month since she passed and it was supposed to be my sad day...but all of last week and going forward into this week I cannot get her off my mind...
I dreamed of her Monday night but couldn't remember the dream on Tuesday and simply woke up thinking I'd dreamed of her and having her on my mind....
Last night I know I dreamed of her, and she actually told me her cause of death in the dream. It was big medical terms so all I remember was "cardiovascular" and the rest is blurry...I tried and tried googling everything I could to refresh, but all I was finding was heart attack and heart failure, which is what we were all pretty sure it was....
I am happy, because I feel her with me, and I happy to dream about her, and I am happy to know that what took her was natural and could not be helped, and happy that I no longer have to harbor this unhealthy idea that I may have to murder her fiancee if I found out he killer her....
But I am unhappy because she is still gone, she didn't deserve to die, and grief logic has me angry thinking that her fiancee could have done more to prevent her death, even though he couldn't...So there's that.
