This word "selfish" being attached to being transgender. It bothers me. It's like telling me that I'm being selfish for wanting to take that next breath of air to live. It's like being told that my life and my identity are not my own, that they belong to everyone else, and my only purpose here alive in this world is to serve your needs, desires, and expectations. I'm just a slave, a slave to this pre-appointed gender role based on anatomy, a slave to rules meant to put us into little boxes so we can all be sorted, separated, mixed and matched. It's like, when I hear this word in connection to being transgender, it's like someone is telling me that I'm just someone else's doll, to be dressed and stripped and posed and moved at the whim of someone else, that I have no free will, and I have no say in my ow direction.
If I'm not allowed to be selfish about my own body, my own identity... what should I be selfish about? Do I simply give up breathing so others can have the air? Do I stop eating and drinking so others can eat and drink? Am I even allowed to die? Or am I stuck, like the Third Law of Robotics?
I don't have an answer for you, ChiGirl. I can only hope that you won't allow guilt to enslave you. No one has the right to do that to you, and I can only hope you won't allow you to do that to yourself. We can all gather here and tell you that you're doing nothing wrong, that you have no reason to feel shame or guilt, but it won't mean anything unless you believe that yourself. It make take a long time to get there, but I hope you do. I hope you know that you answer to no one but yourself when it comes to your own identity, because no one else has to live as you. You do, and I bet you, all those people who'll try to shame you and guilt trip you couldn't survive a day in your skin.
You have no idea how strong you are. I only hope I can be just as strong one day.
