Gina,
I define myself for the most part. But I do love male attention. I don't get it so much anymore since I live out in the boonies and I'm older now. But hubby never ceases to amaze me with the things he does. He tells me he loves me every day. He opens the car door for me still!
Before GRS, I had no desires concerning any companionship afterwards. I only wanted the surgery. I didn't care what else might happen... I had to have that done. I wasn't particularly attracted to men but I craved their attention. I wanted to be told I was pretty. I wanted to be held on the dance floor. But I never thought or wondered about any intimacy or sexual aspects of a relationship.
I think that in the same vein that you have some negative feelings towards men in general, I had feelings about women. I adored women, I worshiped their essence, I wanted to be with them (not in an intimate way necessarily), and I wanted to be just like them.
Surgery didn't change the way I felt necessarily. I'm still not interested in sexual activity. I do love to be held and I still adore attention.
I hope that helps some Gina.
Cindi
