Quote from: ImagineKate on January 09, 2015, 10:17:12 AM
This.
I may never have SRS, due to not really seeing the need for it and being afraid of surgery and constant dilation.
Does that make me any less trans? Will it make me any less of a woman?
Then again I'm not ruling out SRS in my future. I just want to have my options open.
constant dilation is a myth. once the healing takes place, most girls become sexualy active. if nothing more then with a battery operated boyfriend until they sort things out. from that point, dilation is nearly non existant. me 12+ years in, never diliate, no need.
think of it like peirced ears for earings. yep, the first year, wear earings every day or the peircing closes, but after that, the peircing is permanant, wont heal even after extended time with no earings.
My opinion, being transgender , is a spectrum so broad, and is not defined by surgery.
the defanition alone, the fact that it affects genetic males and females, mandates that it be looked at, as if it were points on a compass. 360 degres in the full circle.
only your perceptions, definations, and beleafs dictate how you see yourself, being whole, or as you say, ' less of a woman'.
ive known many that have opted for srs, and a greater number that have not. their 'happiness' with their choices seemed to be more dependant on how they live their life, and not so much so on what is, or isnt betweem their legs.
our society today, is a blessing for transgender girls, compared to 20 years ago. with same sex marriage, open attitudes toward gay and lesbian people, tv and media coverage regarding transgenders, it seems that dwelling on a minority bias view is nearly a mute point.
I hear so many say, " once they found out, they were gone".
I say, " and you expected?"
dating a trans girl isnt for everyone. expect that. non op, pre op , or post op. thats life. the same thing happens at the ice cream shop. there is a 50% chance, if your serving chocolate and vanella, that half the folks want chocolate. its personal taste, dont take it personal on your end. now add in rocky road and strawberry, your down to 25% chance of one flavor being chosen. now put that into human form, include ethnic, gender, sexuality, height/weight, etc, and its going to get really complicated reeally fast.
consider, if you get past that first meeting, say lunch on the mall, and thay ask to see you again. now you agree, and a few more dates go by, and your silent about the tg issue. now, things heat up, its getting serious, and now, after 7 dates, you open up, " Oh, by the way". ..... how can you not expect them to feel deceived? isnt that a big enough issue that you should have 'felt them out' and layed it on the line?
you, we, have to remember their perceptions of gender, and sexuality. and their prefferences.
if your looking to date, look where you can expect a reasonable chance of finding someone accepting of who you are. be honest and up front. its not something you wait until the 6th date after you kissed, and perhaps you are looking at intamacy in the next step.
yes you have a right to date, have a relationship, etc, but the other person has rights also. dinner & a movie, hush up, have fun... past that, before that second date, they have a right to know, up front before you kiss, ..
My therapist always told me to " put myself in their shoes".
