well, I told him

[adrian]

Oh wow, sending lots of positive vibes. The fact he responded at all could be a positive sign though! One way or another he cared enough to send an answer rather than just cutting off contact.

Fingers crossed!

[stephaniec]

yea, it was a big surprise , I woke up and saw his name on the email and it made me smile. I thought I'd never hear from him again. Even if it's a goodbye it shows he was as sweet as I thought

[treeLB]

Its okay what you did you know, your just a human that wants to be wanted, appreciated, loved, cared about.... like everyone else.

I hope it turns out better than what you fear.

[MyKa]

I'm happy and proud of you for telling him!!

[stephaniec]

Its okay what you did you know, your just a human that wants to be wanted, appreciated, loved, cared about.... like everyone else.

I hope it turns out better than what you fear.

thanks

[alexbb]

what happened? ? ? ?
i hope he is lovely about it but even if not, the bigger thing is you busted through your fear, thats massive!! i bet there are lots of kind decent guys out there if this one doesnt play out. all the best!! xx

[stephaniec]

what happened? ? ? ?
i hope he is lovely about it but even if not, the bigger thing is you busted through your fear, thats massive!! i bet there are lots of kind decent guys out there if this one doesnt play out. all the best!! xx

he sent me an email and I'm afraid to look at it , but at least he was nice to reply when I told him I was transgender. I emailed him back I told him I was afraid to find out how he felt about trans women so at least he knows that sooner  or later I'll get brave enough to see what he says so if a miracle happens and it doesn't bother him at least it gives me some time to build the courage to face it. I've had this problem all my life so it's not a new thing with me , it can be pretty paralyzing

[alexbb]

fear is a prison we build for ourselves. something like that anyway!! i built a good one for 32 years. im taking great pleasure in kicking over those walls i can tell you.
anticipation is almost always more intense than the event being anticipated, either painful or pleasurable, too. hope ur ok!
xx

[stephaniec]

I'm all right , it's just a problem I've had a long time and it's a pain.

[alexbb]

Either this guy is a bigotted idiot, in which case he can do one, or he's accepting and warm. I guess its a coin toss. But if he is horrible, its his problem not yours. onto the next one. Pulling is a numbers game!  You have nothing to fear, you've already conquered something most people can barely imagine; coming to terms and coming out. Youve got more guts than pretty much anyone and your an inspiration to me, for what its worth.

[adrian]

I still have my fingers crossed . Would it help if someone else looked at the email (I'm thinking a friend) first? Or sat next to you when you open it?

A big hug!

[suzifrommd]

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, STEPHANIE, READ THE MESSAGE ALREADY!!! YOU'RE DRIVING US CRAZY!!!

[stephaniec]

well, I was suppose to have a therapy apt. today and I was going to talk about this whole business of what I did and the situation I got myself into. She's really the only person I know that could look at the message for me , but she called off sick ,so I'm stuck with my fears until I break down and force a peek. Or what I'm hoping that he doesn't care about me being trans and replys to my reply email which will force me to look because I'll feel a little safer. I'll be all right what ever happens , but I think my brain was  engineered in reverse.

[Lostkitten]

Let me be the bitch to say it but just open the message. It isn't like you even know him in real time yet. Like I mentioned before in another topic, don't jump so deep into it before it gotten something really serious (real time serious). I don't mean to be mean about it but you got the chance to hurt yourself if you feel so much for someone you have not even ever met. Someone you do not even know.

[ashrock]

Let me be the bitch to say it but just open the message. It isn't like you even know him in real time yet. Like I mentioned before in another topic, don't jump so deep into it before it gotten something really serious (real time serious). I don't mean to be mean about it but you got the chance to hurt yourself if you feel so much for someone you have not even ever met. Someone you do not even know.

Very much understand this, but if I where to hazard a guess; the particular guy matters little, but the concept of potentially being rejected is a difficult situation to face at times.
Recently was in a situation where a girl led me on then just turned cold right as Id gotten hope it would go somewhere.  She told me she was really only interested in dating guys, that id been just a good bit of fun, and was sorry she led me on, I was devastated for like a day until I admitted honestly, I wasnt even attracted to her, really more the idea of being in a lesbian relationship; which would be a new thing for me (at least new since transition anyway)...

[stephaniec]

Very much understand this, but if I where to hazard a guess; the particular guy matters little, but the concept of potentially being rejected is a difficult situation to face at times.
Recently was in a situation where a girl led me on then just turned cold right as Id gotten hope it would go somewhere.  She told me she was really only interested in dating guys, that id been just a good bit of fun, and was sorry she led me on, I was devastated for like a day until I admitted honestly, I wasnt even attracted to her, really more the idea of being in a lesbian relationship; which would be a new thing for me (at least new since transition anyway)...

I have quite a severe fear of rejection, he's just someone from a dating site that's probably done this a zillion times , but it's a burden I've carried for a very long time. I probably shouldn't of started talking about this, I'm sorry

[Devlyn]

I have quite a severe fear of rejection, he's just someone from a dating site that's probably done this a zillion times , but it's a burden I've carried for a very long time. I probably shouldn't of started talking about this, I'm sorry

Stephanie, don't make assumptions. This might be the first time he's replied and he might be refreshing every two minutes looking for a reply.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Beth Andrea]

Stephanie, don't make assumptions. This might be the first time he's replied and he might be refreshing every two minutes looking for a reply.

Hugs, Devlyn

That's what I was thinking....maybe he wants to see where this leads, and has asked you out to lunch...the longer he waits, the more "flakey" he'll see you.

Take a couple of deep breathes, tell yourself "it's only an email" and then click on it.

Close your eyes if you have to...but *hugs* just do it, woman! We're all here to cheer you or comfort you...

[Miharu Barbie]

Good golly.  It's like "Who shot J.R.?" (circa 1980) all over again.

If I was in your shoes, Stephanie, feeling they way you are, I would sit down, write a list of 5 things I love about myself (so that I'm feeling a teeny bit more secure), and then I'd open the email, and no matter what it says, I'd make a list of 5 more things I love about myself (for the reassurance value).

But that's just me.

You go girl!

[ashrock]

Good golly.  It's like "Who shot J.R.?" (circa 1980) all over again.

Kristin Shepard!  (yet another victim of that pool of doom...  My sister got married at southfork ranch...  I actually witnessed the death pool and survived...)
Oh... wait... that was rhetorical.... my parents named me and my sister after characters on that ridiculous show.... but I digress.... Please open it?  We will be here no matter what it says.