Gah.

[Call me Ray]

Gah, been talking on and off to what seems like an amazing girl whose number I got from a friend because she thought I was hot. Had just started talking to her right before coming to terms with being trans. We hadn't been able to meet up yet because of the holidays and sickness but were still planning on it. Until tonight.

I decided to let her know what had been going on because she knew I was "dealing with some ->-bleeped-<-" just in case me being trans changed her mind and sure enough as soon as she found out I plan on transitioning I got the "sorry, no offense but I like my women to be women". It wouldn't have bothered me had I known she wasn't bi like I had been led to believe, and I'm definitely glad it ended before it started because that would have sucked but damn, this was the first girl I've met in a while that seemed to get me.

Oh well, better to find out now than in 6 months...

[Ms Grace]

This is a sad reality for many trans people. Hope you find someone nice soon!

[Call me Ray]

This is a sad reality for many trans people. Hope you find someone nice soon!

Thank you. I know I will someday.

I think the part that bugged me the most was the whole "I like my women to be women" thing. It just hit me really wrong since I had just told her that I'm going by Ray now and using male pronouns. Why couldn't she just say, "sorry, I'm not into dudes" or something like that?

[Ms Grace]

Some people are just insensitive that way. I know that whenever I told a potential girlfriend about my trans history after I gave up my first attempt at transition it pretty much killed any chance at a relationship.

[Arch]

Sort of like when a friend saw me walking down the street, pulled over, and said something to the effect that I looked like a real guy.

I know what he meant, but %^$%$&^*(!!!!

[Ms Grace]

Friend: "You look like a real guy."
You: "Thanks, and you look like a real tool."

[King Malachite]

-hugs-  Sorry that has happened to you.  I feel your pain.  I remember getting really close to this one girl and wanted to pursue a relationship with her, but she was very clear that she was only into women.  Dating can be so complex for many of us....



I hope you will be able to find a lady who accepts you as who you are.

[Cindy]

Yeah had something similar when a colleague saw a pic of a friend and I. 'Oh she's too pretty to be trans'. Great thanks a-hole.

[AbbyKat]

Thank you. I know I will someday.

I think the part that bugged me the most was the whole "I like my women to be women" thing. It just hit me really wrong since I had just told her that I'm going by Ray now and using male pronouns. Why couldn't she just say, "sorry, I'm not into dudes" or something like that?

I didn't understand the offense until you put it that way.  "I'm not in to dudes" would have been way better. 

At least you found out early on and didn't just keep to yourself, banking on the illusion she was bi.

[missymay]

From the title, I thought this post was going to be Star Trek related 

[Call me Ray]

Friend: "You look like a real guy."
You: "Thanks, and you look like a real tool."

Love this response!

[jeni]

Sorry to hear it.

I'm not out yet, but I'm trying to mentally prepare for barrages of insensitively phrased comments from all angles. It sounds like this one may not have been intentional rude, but it really evokes a wtf...

[Arch]

As in Klingon food, Missymay? "Sorry, I'm not into half-dead gagh."