Maybe it's my transition that has caused this, but I've started to pay a lot more attention to the tone people use when they speak or write. I get that a lot of the people here a struggling, I struggle with being trans too. But I honestly think the happy ending is much more reachable for us than we think. For me, I have legal issues to take care of, school, and I'd like to find a reliable guy to spend my life with. All of these seem like Sisyphean tasks at times, but are actually doable. Whether or not I pass 100% of the time isn't really going to determine how well I accomplish my goals.
I'm kinda worried that too many of us are stuck thinking that we have to be a certain level of pretty to be happy, and to be considered passing. We forget that there are women all along the range of ugly to pretty. Not every outfit will look good on me, and it isn't the end of the world if someone doesn't find me attractive. But a lot of guys aren't nearly as picky as we think. If you're into girls, then there's a role you'd probably find in the lesbian community, although I don't really know the names and rules for it.
We will never get to be little girls, and thank god. I don't want to go back and be pubescent again, it was just as ->-bleeped-<-ty for everyone. Instead, we can choose to be ourselves, and live as adult women without any of the time wishing we were older so we didn't have to listen to our parents or have them criticize our outfits as we leave for school. I don't want to go back, I'm glad I made it this far, and always looking back just distracts me from the present and future.
And, does it matter if we get clocked occasionally? If I enjoy 95% of the interactions I have in a given day and one person clocks me, or if I have to use my license, it doesn't make the rest of the day suddenly bad. If that person starts acting like a jerk to me, fck him or her. I'm transitioning because I want to be me, not because I want everyone to think I'm pretty, not because I want everyone to be nice to me, although it'd be pretty neat...
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