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tips for passing

Started by nickyhappytrans, January 21, 2015, 03:54:43 PM

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nickyhappytrans

hey you guys i kinda feel like im inbetween a cross roads im 4 months in transition i feel that i look very feminine for a man at this point but if i put on a wig or wear a dress i feel more masculine than as if i was to wear boy clothes sigh* do you guys have any tips for me to maybe blend better or be able to see myself as a girl i really want to go full time but my body and evrything feels like its not ready any advice would be great thanks 









[img]http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/nick294_album/Mobile%20Uploads/8664E83B-DC73-48D2-AF50-41F221C19B8A_zpsstcwjqnl.jpg/img]

[img]http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/nick294_album/Mobile%20Uploads/1850443C-9800-463A-A3D6-FCAE3FEAECAC_zpsnxqo4okr.jpg/img]


[img]http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/nick294_album/Mobile%20Uploads/D7A4D880-A7AE-4558-A4BB-5B85EE55A42E_zpssefoxafv.jpg/img]
Nicole
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androgynouspainter26

Nicky,

You honestly have a really good starting point!  When I saw your first picture, and I'm NOT saying this to be nice, I thought you were FtM.  Your features are pretty feminine; you have real potential hon; I looked no where near as good four months in, I can't imagine that many of us did.  I promise I'm not being nice for the sake of it (like some of the girls here do) when I say you definately have potential!  Here are some tips though:

Makeup: Makeup was key for me in finally being able to pass.  I don't know how much you know about it.  If you can manage to scrounge up the money, it might help to go to a a store like Sephora and just ask for some help choosing a good foundation, eye palette, etc.  I've found that a lot of nicer cosmetics are easier to apply, which really helps!  Don't overdo the makeup either-my rule is that if I have a bold eye, no bold lipsticks and vice versa.  As for contorting-focus your blush on the apples of your cheeks, and be sure to hi-light too.  Evening out your brows will help a lot.  You have feminine eyes, but a bit of mascara and eyeliner would really make them pop.  Just remember: When you're starting out, keep it subtle!  Nothing tends to out a beginner like overdone makeup or clothing.  Don't go for dramatic until you've mastered your basics; I'm wearing hi-lighting makeup in my avatar here, but it's feminizing makeup, not nightclub makeup.  I'm not sure if you're wearing any in your last picture; if so, you could stand to use a bit more, but more carefully.  If not-it just takes practice.  Makeup is probably the best way to ensure you are gendered female, even when you aren't wearing a dress or skirt.

Clothing: It's hard to find a style that works for you when you're just starting out; I'm not sure what kinds of dresses you've been looking at, but for girls like us finding a flattering silhouette is key.  I always tend to gravitate towards A-line dresses with a subtle flaired skirt; subtler colors are better, especially dark ones.  Go for dresses that accentuate your hips, and won't make it too obvious that you're padding your bust.  Stay away from sheath dresses or really anything that hugs the entire body so closely.  They are not flattering at all; a lot of girls go for those early on, and it's usually a bad idea.  Anything a bit looser that you can belt is also a great idea.  Consider darker tops; they draw attention away from the shoulders, arms, and bust.  Make it your own though; eventually, you'll settle on a feminine style that suits you.  Right now I'm in the middle of a "vintage goth" phase...it feels good to have my sense of fashion back, hahaha!  I really love that hoodie; you're off to a good start!

Other tips: Padding your bust is key.  Finding a bra that fits, and a nice pair of falsies can really help you pass.  That's not something I've perfected yet even after three years, it's not easy-but you can always look that up.  Consider a darker wig-the one you're wearing doesn't look totally real, and a fake looking wig can really give you away.  It's not bad at all, but if you're concerned about passing, the wig is something you need to get down.  Have you considered wearing something darker?  Your natural color is brown and your eyebrows match that-why not go for something a darker and more natural color?  A bit of nail polish can make your hands look smaller if the color is on the darker side (a trick I figured out on my own).  Besides that-how is your voice and body language?  Even posture is key if passing is your goal. 

All in all, you're off to a really good start, and if you have a question or anything I'm happy to help...the only thing I don't think I've fully figured out is hair  ::)  Another piece of advice-I saw your post on FFS.  You should wait-you seem to be around my age when  I started HRT, and I thought I was going to need it for a while, but eventually the hormones did their job.  I'm just past my two year mark, and in terms of my face they've done a lot.  Don't commit to FFS until you've been on hormones for much longer.  It's insanely expensive, and you might not even need it.

Best,
S
My gender problem isn't half as bad as society's.  Although mine is still pretty bad.
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alexbb

AP did the comprehensive post (ive bookmarked it) but id just add/echo these are the things ive learned this month; get some great clothes so you feel good, and just go about your business. you look great! i wouldnt even think you were trans. just enjoy yourself, its a bit nerve wracking but feels so awesome! youll do great!!

oh also get a girl to help you buy make up if youre not sure what to get, theres loads of YT videos to show you how to use it. and get some little silicon boobs and hips. the boobs are fab obvs, but its amazing how nice it feels to have hips too.
xxx alex

http://www.pinterest.com/explore/women's-winter-fashion/

Sammy

I will second what everybody else said - You look great, so fresh and natural! Now, You should probably ditch that wig, because it: a) looks fake b) does not suit Your style and presentation. As regards dresses and suchlike, I would advice to take small steps and see what works for Your body type - not everything will look flattering and some pieces of clothing will make masculine features to stand out more than male clothes (I guess that's what You mentioned...). It can be circumvented by adjusting Your wardrobe with clothes that suit Your exact body type (which You need to figure out first :), or by waiting a bit longer until fat redistribution to female pattern which will make Your figure look entirely different (to the point when wearing andro clothes will gender You female, because those clothes will sit on Your frame entirely different than they would have done pre-transition).
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Tori

Makeup and hair do magic things for passing.

I agree about the wig. It is good to start with something that looks like a feminine version of your hair. Especially the color. This way you can use the same makeup and wardrobe. Different hair colors can work but some are far better than others depending on your skin tone, and they will always impact what clothing and makeup works best on you. Best to start simple and work from there.

If you want long hair, get a long wig. In fact, I suggest you almost always get one a bit longer that you think you will need so you can cut it to fit your face. Also wigs can fray on the ends as they get used so the occasional trip can keep them looking new for longer.

Many wig shops will cut a wig for a fee, or try costume shops at local theaters as they frequently have to deal with wigs. The more professional the theatre, the more likely they have a wig staff.


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alexbb

till you get a good wig, this might help
http://uk.pinterest.com/mishuntel/pixie-cut/
im looking forward to getting mine done when i get a break from work!!

katiej

Honestly, your top pic looks the most feminine of all.  You could probably pull off a cute pixie cut.  Your hair is pretty close to that already and if you go to a hairstylist and ask for that specifically, they'll also help you with styling.

Pixie cut, earrings, and makeup...and you're a lot farther along than I am.  :)

Otherwise, I'll second everything Painter suggested.  She always gives really solid advice on this subject.
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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Obfuskatie

Hair: Copy JLaws pixie, and if you want to eventually grow your hair out, you can let it get messily long until you can pull off a modified bob.  That wig needs some love and brushing out, but might work better with full eye makeup.

Clothes: I'm guessing your measurements are something like the inverted triangle most of us transwomen have starting out.  Flattering clothes that accentuate the hips and downplay your shoulders work wonders on the silhouette.  3/4sleeves foreshorten your arms, scoop neck, V-necks and deep Vs make your shoulders appear smaller.  A-line, flared and tulip(to a lesser degree) enhance the bottom half of the hourglass silhouette as long as the hem length ends a little above or just below your knees.

Accessories:  Make sure you buy earrings, purses, and other jewelry that flatter you body's proportions.  With wide wrists, larger chunky bracelets look better than thin bands.  Same goes for the rest.  Try to stay away from tiny clutch purses/handbags and too much bling.  I just bought some fab hoop earrings that are a lot heavier than the studs I was wearing all the time in andro-mode, but they are awesome.

Nails:  Get your nails done, mani-pedis are fun and addictive.  I have already collected quite a few bottles of polish, and like keeping my nails nice and blunt. 

-Makeup and shaping your eyebrows is also important

Walk/Talk/Mannerisms:  Walking the walk and talking the talk are the last parts I think.  If you want to look at a Linguistic approach to the differences in the way women and men speak and convey meaning, Deborah Tannen's, That's Not What I Meant, is a great place to start.  Walking can be practiced by pretending you are walking on a balance beam.  Placing your feet in front of each other on a line causes your hips to sway, duck waddles or even paralleled feet widely set apart does not.

Final note: make sure you style yourself for the occasion.  Day looks are different from night looks.  Watch other girls who you admire and watch how they act, their mannerisms, and how they communicate.  You'll learn better from watching girls your age than from anything you read.  Think of fitting in as an act you are polishing until you can adapt it to just being yourself, only more feminine than you dared let yourself before.

I hope this helps Nicky, good luck, mwa [emoji182]



If people are what they eat, I really need to stop eating such neurotic food  :icon_shakefist:
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jessical

You are cute :)  The top photo is the best.  I would lose the hat and the wig.  All it would take is a little makeup.  Even just lip gloss.  Earrings would help.  Even though your hair is short, it looks like you could style it in a feminine way.
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Billie97470

Quote from: nickyhappytrans on January 21, 2015, 03:54:43 PM
hey you guys i kinda feel like im inbetween a cross roads im 4 months in transition i feel that i look very feminine for a man at this point but if i put on a wig or wear a dress i feel more masculine than as if i was to wear boy clothes sigh* do you guys have any tips for me to maybe blend better or be able to see myself as a girl i really want to go full time but my body and evrything feels like its not ready any advice would be great thanks 









[img]http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/nick294_album/Mobile%20Uploads/8664E83B-DC73-48D2-AF50-41F221C19B8A_zpsstcwjqnl.jpg/img]

[img]http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/nick294_album/Mobile%20Uploads/1850443C-9800-463A-A3D6-FCAE3FEAECAC_zpsnxqo4okr.jpg/img]


[img]http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo22/nick294_album/Mobile%20Uploads/D7A4D880-A7AE-4558-A4BB-5B85EE55A42E_zpssefoxafv.jpg/img]

Yeah I thought you were female to male posting in the male to female.  I love your lips by the way, everything else is fine as well.
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