why do you think so many are willing to chance transition without "passing"

[stephaniec]

Because of this constant debate of  "pass , no pass " why do you thing so many are willing to take their chances in a society not totally enlightened about people who need to transition. For me the decision is easy, because I have nothing else and when you have nothing you have freedom to do anything. I just ran into the absolute dead end where the only possible choice was to transition. " pass and not pass" concerns me because I'd like to be ignored for my looks , but it's not the over riding cause of my decision . Given my age and life experiences I have no choice, but I totally understand why the people are concerned about  " passing" , but is passing really enough to stop one from becoming who they are. The civil rights movement is sadly an on going problem with victories along the way. With all the suffering of people trying to accomplish freedom the attempt to be free will never be abandoned by those needing their freedom.  I'm just so curious as to why   One would abandon freedom because of a fear of how some of the unenlightened of society view a persons need to feel the freedom to be who they are. Or why abandon yourself just because your not the prettiest girl or guy in your neighborhood. Disclaimer[ ( please try to understand , I'm just trying to learn not instigate), possible trigger ]

[Tori]

Because I would have killed myself had I not transitioned. Passing? It is fun to work on but not a requirement.

[Zoetrope]

For me its a question of happiness and health.

I think that addressing what makes us unhappy in our lives allows us room to pursue the things that *do* make us happy.

That's very general but I think it applies to so many things, not just transitioning.

I also believe that health follows happiness. When we allow ourselves peace, we also allow ourselves to heal. I feel like years have been taken off me. Not so much physically, but I feel revitalised from within.

So why do it? If this is what a person needs to be their best and healthiest self - this is what they must do.

[Beth Andrea]

The choice for me was either to not pass, or to not live.

I'm still here, and more than 30' away I think I do pass, closer depending on the person's visual acuity.

[Cin]

I do care a lot about passing when i think about maybe transitioning in the future, (but I'm not ready yet). I'm young, but even if I have to wait for a few more years, I don't think I'd have as much trouble as most other people when it comes to passing, so that keeps my mind at ease a little (besides i am pretty much helpless now). I think it's natural to want a little more, to look pretty, but i also think that my gender dysphoria will progress to a point, where i will happily take whatever i get. I don't want to say that it's either transition or nothing for me, but I can't and don't see myself living this way for the rest of my life. It worries me, wish it wasn't this way.

[mrs izzy]

Passing is one of the transition fears.

It is highly person to person conceptions of what that means.

As i have said so many times before i came to understand it was one of the things that is not worth the effort to care about.

[Ennaria]

I've never stressed about passing. I'm looking forward to the day when I can fully pass. If, for whatever reason, that isn't able to happen, it doesn't change who I am. I've accepted the real me, I will not go back. Ever.
For me, it was real simple. I was ready to die. I couldn't keep trying any more. I was so depressed, especially in the last few months before my epiphany moment. It wasn't that I didn't want to live, it's that I couldn't live that way any more. It was eating me away little by little every day. Once I figured it out, that was that. All my feelings made sense and things started looking up. I would say it didn't happen overnight, but it didn't take long at all.
Now, almost a year later since that moment, and I'm better than ever. Life is wonderful.

<3

[Obfuskatie]

Passing is one of the transition fears.

It is highly person to person conceptions of what that means.

As i have said so many times before i came to understand it was one of the things that is not worth the effort to care about.

I can't agree harder.  I'm exhausted from how long (about 1 and a half years) I obsessed about hiding my changing body from the world, going about as an androgynous guy.  When I finally started full time presenting, I was still anxious, but I could finally relax since I was allowing myself to be me.  I am so tired of hiding, I just can't do it anymore, unless you count half a day in boy-mode to visit my Grandma who paid for my college degree. 

While I get that people have their own process, there is a HUGE emphasis on passing, and I think it has something to do with our internalized transphobia.  It's easier to hide that you are trans if people assume you're cisfemme, and you can be yourself.  I think the biggest hurdle for transwomen to overcome is to see your reflection as female/feminine.  But you'll have it made when you do.

[rachel89]

Even if I won't be able to pass I must do this to be at peace with myself.

[kelly_aus]

I was thinking about the OP's question and  I was instantly reminded of an old Northern Territory ad campaign..

"Because you'll never, ever know, if you never, ever go.."

I went in to transition with no idea how it would end up. I think I've done OK. Not fantastic, but OK. Would I do it again knowing the result? Yep..

[Jill F]

My other options were "go crazy" or "die".  No brainer.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

My other options were "go crazy" or "die".  No brainer.

Mine were "be incredibly miserable" or "die".

Not much better.

[Evolving Beauty]

In 2009 I jumped into the waters taking hormones cos it was UNBEARABLE to live a single day more as a 'man'. The amount of rejection I had to bear my entire life was a tremendous as a guy, so I had to revert to the proper looks to attract the correct category of people I wanted. I also jumped without even knowing if I'd ever be able to complete my transition cos at that starting point it was looking IMPOSSIBLE but look today after 5 years I finally completed my SRS. Some miraculous things happened on the way when you are really determined to have something so bad.

[suzifrommd]

Stephanie, I apologize for being late to the party, but I hope my contribution is still helpful.

I know many trans women IRL who don't pass. None of them feel like they are "taking their chances." All of them report that there have been generally no issues with safety or intolerance, or no more than any other woman would have experienced.

[JoanneB]

1) Transition is just another word for nothing left to loose

2) Transition or die

3) Which pain is worse?

In my early 20's when I twice "experimented" with transitioning, the outcome was exactly as I expected, failure. A large part due to being large (6ft) at a time (late 70's early 80's) when not being able to be 100% stealth meant a (likely very short) life of ridicule. At 6ft tall with the average height for women my age being like 5'6", biggish boned, deep voice and already balding, I stood out. Most of my life untill then I had also stood out and got a lot of negative unwanted attention. I wasn't looking for any more.

So far I've been lucky, still stuck on #3, mostly. I feel no greater joy, no greater sense of being genuine then when I am out in the real world as the real me. Right now my situation requires me to be even less then the almost full-time life I was living. The pain of switching back and forth now often feels far worse then the days of the daily jump.

Being female is a large part of my identity. However it is not the only part. I spent decades suppressing it, and a few years now nurturing it. Today I am almost a fully integrated person. If it weren't for the fear of the possible negative outcomes that would greatly impact the other major parts of my sense of self I would transition tomorrow.

[Jessica Merriman]

Whose definition of passing? I love myself now and feel great so what more is there to life? My choices were die or transition so there was no clause for passing. 

[Sabrina]

For me, I had to start transitioning before I'm passable. It was getting to the point where it was starting to cause mental damage. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to start wearing lady clothing and makeup, slowly incorporating them so no one would question what I do and think it was just who I am. It's just a matter of time before I can look passable.

[jeni]

Interesting question!

I sorta go back and forth about how important passing is to me. I think I will be content if I reach a point where I blend for the most part---close enough that people aren't clocking me in public very often. But I'm not really after stealth, and I don't plan to hide that I'm trans. I'd rather it not come up much, because honestly, it shouldn't matter.

I'm willing to transition without knowing that I'll pass for a few reasons. The cheap one is that I think I will be able to pass reasonably without too much effort, as I don't have an especially masculine body or facial structure. So that lessens my worry. But even if I don't pass, I know that I will feel better as myself. It'd be nice if people saw me as just another girl, but that's not critical to my happiness. I'm already pretty socially inactive (and I was even before the kids caused that), so it's not like staying in on Friday and Saturday nights would be a change.

But I think the main thing is that my goal isn't to pass, it's to be who I am. Cis women don't automatically get to be stunningly beautiful just because they have two X's, the majority probably wish they could change their appearance. It's sad, but society is not cruel only to trans women, it's cruel to women, period.

[ImagineKate]

Passing is important to me. I don't think I'd be able to transition if I couldn't pass to some degree. The most depressing days for me are when I look a lot like a man, which is usually a day or two before electrolysis when I have to let the facial hair grow out. When I get to shave afterwards it feels extremely liberating.

I do "get" why some ladies don't care about passing though. It's all about being yourself and they want to be themselves. I don't judge them. They're free to be who they are. I know one girl (not a friend, just someone I know, and she's kinda famous in a not so good way in the trans community) who doesn't pass at all, as in doesn't even bother to try. She might shave her face and that's about it. No boobs or nothing, just wears dresses and women's clothing in public. She seems happy. She even insists she's a cis girl but everyone knows otherwise. Whatever, it's her life not mine. I don't know how I'd deal with that. I would freak out and cry going out in public looking like that.

[androgynouspainter26]

Delusion?  I don't know why anyone would be willing to go through the rest of their life being treated like they are less than human.