Has anyone here ever been 'found out' on this site by someone they know?

[cindy16]

I'm not sure if this is OK to ask, but I was really curious about this so I figured I'll ask anyway.

When I joined this site a few weeks back, I was really really paranoid about someone I know landing up on this site and figuring out that I am posting here. So I hid almost every mundane detail about myself except some personal experiences which most people who know me wouldn't know and which I needed help in wrapping my head around.
In the last few weeks, as I felt like interacting more on this site, and since I came out to my wife and to a therapist and neither of them freaked out, I became a little more confident and shared more about myself here. I have still not shared my exact age, profession, city where I live etc, so even if someone I know lands up here and reads my posts, they can't really be sure it's me.

But given all this, I was just wondering if someone here has had a similar experience and then been 'found out'. Not by a spouse or someone close who went through the history on your comp or something, but just someone browsing and landing up on this site on their own and then guessing it's you, and 'outing' you or confronting you about it. I am not looking for any personal details, but if anyone has any pointers about what sort of things give people away or how often do cis people even know that this site exists, that might help.

Sorry if this sounds inappropriate or invasive, but I am just curious. I'm also still a little paranoid, but I also want to keep on interacting here, as I think it is one of the things that is keeping me sane right now.

[Evolving Beauty]

My ex googled some craps related to me, I dunno how but yeah he found me here via Google, I created a topic he wasnt suppose to know about, was so embarassing.

[gennee]

I haven't had any problems.

[Tessa James]

Much of this can depend on how "out" we are and how many personal details people willingly or unwittingly share.  Obviously thousands of people are here to read and never post anything.  Many of us have firewalls that may include an avatar, name and any number of fictional characteristics to obscure the truth.  Susan has always encouraged people to think about their safety when posting personal identifiers. Sadly, trolls, ->-bleeped-<-s and haters are not fairy tales.

There are sophisticated and determined hackers out there that play i spy all day long and break in to Sony Corporate emails and the pentagon.  I guess they could find us too.

I am one who is comfortably public and have benefitted from making new friends here and IRL from connections here.  I am therefore 'found out' and happy for it.

[Ciara]

I'm from Ireland and I don't think there are many other Irish people here so I doubt that anyone will find me here. All in all, i think the likelihood of ever being identified are slim unless you give away a lot of personal details.

[stephaniec]

haven't had it happen , but  I'm waiting for someone to walk up to me at a Starbucks and say Hi! I've seen you are Susan's. I think the bigger question would be if that person wasn't also trans why would they be searching the site.

[JulieBlair]

So what is the worst they could do if they outed you?  My ex wife followed me here for a while and harassed some of my friends.  Then she extracted a promise from me to be discrete, and promptly called my daughter to let her know I was a trans freak.  Thing is nobody much cared what she said.  The people who loved me continued to do so, and those who don't are not a part of my life.  I live in Seattle which is pretty gay/trans friendly.  I live full time in the gender I have always identified with.  There is a risk and there is a cost with living an authentic and loving life.  For me, and this is just for me, the cost and the risk is trivial compared to not feeling wrong, not feeling ugly, not feeling alone.  Fear is the greatest impediment to living a rich and full life that I can think of. 

You have chosen courage with your wife and therapist.  Whatever happens, and wherever your pilgrimage to self takes you, to travel through the fear to the shores of honesty is something you can be proud of.

Peace,
Julie

[jessical]

I think the biggest risk of someone knowing you are here is if someone else has access to the computer you use to access susan's.  Other than that, if someone follows the recommendations, the risk is low.  But it is always a thought in the back of your mind.  Now that I am out, it is a big relief that I don't have to worry about it anymore.

[Jessica Merriman]

From your first keystroke on the net everything is public. Susan's does everything possible to minimize danger to it's members, but things still happen. My being here has led to others (some still closeted) in my state reaching out to me for help.

[Jill F]

I'm not worried about it.  I just assume everyone knows.

[Jenna Marie]

Nope, but I also am obscuring some personal details just in case. I'm not embarrassed to be known as trans, but there *are* some things (like details of GRS) that I don't want people finding out about unless I chose to tell them.

On the other hand, the reverse sort of happened, where I recognized someone I know from elsewhere... she had a very distinctive writing style and choice of topics, and sometimes posted verbatim the same things she had said in other places. I never contacted her or told anyone else that I knew her real name/identity, obviously.

[cindy16]

Thanks a lot everyone for the replies.
Unfortunately, I can't afford to be open right now, hence the paranoia, although coming out to the person who knows the most about me, my wife, has really helped. My comp is hardly ever used by anyone except the two of us, but I still turn off history when I'm here just in case someone does use it and it pops up as a frequently visited website or something.
Other than that, I am not too worried about hackers etc, but more about someone casually browsing and finding me here.
But as Stephanie and Jessica M pointed out, that might not happen unless they are also trans.
After all, I didn't know of this site's existence until a few months ago when I started looking seriously for answers.

[Cin]

My dad caught me using this site. He wanted to use my laptop, so I let handed it over to him. I should've closed my browser window, but I was in the middle of making a long post, didn't want to lose what I had written already, I minimized the window, hoping my dad would open a new window, nope. He Stares at the word 'transgender' for like 6 seconds as I'm standing next to him, speechless. And frankly, not to my surprise, He just opened a new tab and pretended like nothing happened.

[pretty pauline]

I'm from Ireland and I don't think there are many other Irish people here so I doubt that anyone will find me here. All in all, i think the likelihood of ever being identified are slim unless you give away a lot of personal details.

Ciara there are a few from Ireland here, including myself, but I'd live a very stealth lifestyle, just another mundane ordinary housewife blending in with other women.

[nanofan]

Exactly my fear, that someone I know spot me, thats why I almost only read

[AndrewG]

It's something I think about but I try not to let it worry me too much. When I was first starting to come out as bi I was on a similar site and tended to hold back on what I was posting, or going to any of the meet-ups people were having, because I was worried I'd be recognised. I soon worked out that the benefits I could get from being honest outweighed the slight risk of someone finding out I'd been posting there. I think a small part of me actually wanted someone to find me.

I'm not out as trans yet, but I think in six months time I'll be living more openly and it won't worry me. It's just my family that I need to come out to first. After that I don't think I'll care who stumbles across me.

[Rosemary]

Ciara there are a few from Ireland here, including myself, but I'd live a very stealth lifestyle, just another mundane ordinary housewife blending in with other women.

Hi Pauline & Ciara, I'm Irish too. I get as girlie as my wife is comfortable with, which is not enough, but has to do.

[Rosemary]

I'm not sure if this is OK to ask, but I was really curious about this so I figured I'll ask anyway.

When I joined this site a few weeks back, I was really really paranoid about someone I know landing up on this site and figuring out that I am posting here. So I hid almost every mundane detail about myself except some personal experiences which most people who know me wouldn't know and which I needed help in wrapping my head around.
In the last few weeks, as I felt like interacting more on this site, and since I came out to my wife and to a therapist and neither of them freaked out, I became a little more confident and shared more about myself here. I have still not shared my exact age, profession, city where I live etc, so even if someone I know lands up here and reads my posts, they can't really be sure it's me.

But given all this, I was just wondering if someone here has had a similar experience and then been 'found out'. Not by a spouse or someone close who went through the history on your comp or something, but just someone browsing and landing up on this site on their own and then guessing it's you, and 'outing' you or confronting you about it. I am not looking for any personal details, but if anyone has any pointers about what sort of things give people away or how often do cis people even know that this site exists, that might help.

Sorry if this sounds inappropriate or invasive, but I am just curious. I'm also still a little paranoid, but I also want to keep on interacting here, as I think it is one of the things that is keeping me sane right now.

I haven't been found out, at least as far as I know. I have had similiar concerns. I try and convince myself that if it's meant to be it's meant to be. Also that if anybody finds me it's because they're here as well. And if they're here, it's because we have something in common. As for general "haters", I suppose they could cause problems, but if they have a need to hate it's because they recognise something in themselves they're trying to hide. Personal enemies could achieve the same, but in general in life I try to keep them to a minimum, and not just for stealth! Hope this helps.

[Stevie]

 I wasn't found out, but I have a transgender son and another child that is gender fluid that have told me they have seen my posts on here.

[synesthetic]

nope. I try to avoid as much identifying info as I can, because I'm still in the closet to everyone, but I definitely still have the fear of being found out. realistically, there's no way anybody could identify me just by the things I post, but I'm so paranoid regardless.

sucks that we have to be so careful/worried about being found, even in a safe trans-friendly space, but I suppose that's just life.