I'm at the beginning of my journey in a lot of ways. I finally accepted my identity as transgendered last fall. I began seeing a (wonderful) gender therapist here in the DC area at the beginning of this year.
Today felt like a big step for me. My therapist has gently encouraged me to consider presenting myself as Grace rather than my male self, if and when I felt ready. I decided to do so today. There is a non-gender private restroom, so I could change there - I feel like I'm a very long way from presenting as Grace in public yet.
It was a mixture of feelings I haven't experienced before. On one hand, it was tremendously affirming to be seen and addressed as Grace, and there is a kind of peace I experience as Grace I have never, ever felt living as a male. On the other hand, it felt like I was wading into very deep and unfamiliar waters. My therapist is the first person I have presented myself to in my authentic gender, so there is much I am unsure of.
I will say that I noticed some interesting differences in my interactions with her compared to our previous sessions where I presented as male. As Grace I speak more slowly and interrupt much less, an unfortunate habit I tend to link to being excessively cerebral and taking male privilege for granted, I suppose. I am also able to be still in ways I can't as a male, when I cannot seem to live inside my own skin very well.
My previous posts here have been questions about others' experiences, so this time I thought I would share one of my own. I'd love to hear what this moment has been like for others.
Nerissa Grace
