I'd forgotten how important poetry had been to me during my dark days.
This somehow sustained me when I was trying, unsuccessfully, to recover from rape, abuse and continual suicidal thoughts; it is Emerson, I think the greatest of the USA poets, from Brahmin
"Far or forgot to me is near,
Shadow and sunlight are the same,
The vanished gods to me appear,
And one to me are shame and fame.
They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly, I am the wings;
I am the doubter and the doubt,
And I the hymn the Brahmin sings."
On a particularly dark night when my life was over and the pain too great to bear, the whiskey bottle half drunk and the pills ready to swallow, I looked around my room for the last time and saw that quote on my wall and focussed on:
"They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly, I am the wings"
I realised 'I am the wings' and flushed the pills down the toilet.
Sorry if that is triggering.
